2nd degree tear not healing (bit long, sorry!)

[coffeechat]

New to this as only ever hovered in the background but wanted some advise... Gave birth to DS2 10 days ago,lovely water birth but then haemorraged with cervical tear and ended up with blood transfusion. Also had 2nd degree tear.
Thought all was going well but just come back from post-natal appt and stitches have come away, wound not healing,iron levels still v low and DS2 not putting on weight, despite bfing all day and night! also have 4 yr old DS1 to look after.
Just feel completely down and exhausted. I have a bit of help but no-one else can bf and dont wnat to keep shoving DS1 off onto other people in case he feels pushed out.
Any advise? Thanks!

Come talk to us on the Ragged Bits Thread.

(((((coffeechat)))))
I feel so bad for you. Congratulations on your DS2.
What is being done about your stitches? Will you need to be re-stitched?
In the short term - are you still taking your prenatal vitamins? Double up on them to help get your iron levels up, it will also help you not become depleted from breastfeeding. Or try Floradix Iron and Herbs, it's a liquid and actually tastes good (and is not constipating).
Can your DS1 cuddle up to you while you're breastfeeding the baby?

Sorry I don't have anything more helpful to add - ((((((HUGS)))))!!

Thanks for your kind words and advise - i am on iron tablets but will start taking vits too. They said they will leave it to heal by itslef and then if it hasnt healed by six weeks will do something about it - surgery I guess. Will have a look at that thread too. Keep saying to myself its early days and things will get better.

It is early days and things do get better, but my god, this is not how you want things to be after having your little one. I had a forceps delivery and third degree tear (not diagnosed at the time, they thought it was a second degree tear) with mahoosive blood loss so I really feel your pain. They did a very poor job stitching me so I had to have a "repair" done this past Feb, where the internal scar was excised and everything put together more neatly (and what was previously left unstitched was repaired too). Very about it all but it's all better now.

About your little one, is he not gaining weight or is he actually losing weight? I mean, ideally you want him to gain weight but if he's at least maintaining his weight then you know that his output is equalled by what you're putting into him. So stressful though!! And exhausting to feed, feed, feed! There is a lovely breastfeeding expert on MumsNet called tiktok, you might do a thread calling for her advice if you can't speak to a breastfeeding counsellor in real life. Tiktok is incredibly well informed and up to date on all the research.

Good luck with everything ((((((coffeechat)))), I hope someone will be along with more advice than I can give!

I had a third degree tear with my DD1 and was wrongly stitched then re-stitched. The resulting wound took ages to feel better. I can only describe it as feeling like a drawing pain, like if I stood too long, gravity pulled everything sorely downward. Its much, much too soon to feel better. You need to give yourself at least 3-4 weeks to get over this bit. It will heal beautifully (even my arsed-up fantouche recovered enough to have twins ).

Do you have enough support to allow you to almost just feed and sleep/rest? Ideally, some walking around time for a spell in the day but also lots of legs up time to take the gravity pull away.

Your DS1 won't remember being 'shoved' off on other people.....especially if he gets to snuggle with you at other times of day. The really important bit for him is to have one meal time with you and plenty snuggle time (what age is he btw?). You can chat with him how, in the Autumn, you might go to the zoo or at Christmas you can't wait to decorate pine cones in glitter....anything like that to sow the seed that this isn't forever. Its enough. He will know you love him still.

Ease up on you xxx.

I had a 2nd degree tear and it felt like it took ages to heal. I used to bath every other day and use a capful of dettol. Im not sure it helped but it seemed to heal quickly after I started doing it.

Dont worry about your ds, he will be fine. Maybe try going for a walk to the park so he can have some fun and you can get some blood flowing to the right places

Thanks everyone - cant believe it took me so long to chat, it really helps to hear other peoples experiences.
I am trying to rest up but little one doesbt seem to sleep for any length of time and as soon as wakes up wants to feed again! Talked to bf councillor who said he prob wasnt latching on properly so not getting sufficient feeds - said to persevere - great!! Gave in last night and got hubby to give him a bottle so I could get an early night now tempted just to switch altogether but would feel so guilty.
Frumpygrumpy - my ds1 is 4. Glad to hear you healed so well. I know what you mean about pulling pain - it feels like my entire pelvic floor are about to fall out! I have tried doing the exercises but cant actually feel anything at the mo - is this normal??

totally normal and although the exercises are needed, IMHO its a bit soon...... after a long day on my feet, I would throb and ache and really you just need some time to let the initial wound calm before you try for more.

Stick with the breastfeeding, he won't feed properly unless you get through this bit. I know a couple of girls on here who would probably help you through this bit. Would you like me to link you up?

Jacksmama has suggested finding "tictok" on here. Any links would be great. Thanks

How's it going today coffeechat?

Was in quite a lot of pain last night with tummy cramps too so wnet to docs this morning who said have prob got an infection. Talk about adding insult to broken fanjo!! Got antibiotics so maybe that will speed up healing. Still concerned about weather things down there will ever be the same again but from the comments I have had here I am a bit positive about that. Thanks for checking back in xx

i feel so sorry for you, thanks God I did not had any tears.

I can assure you that your bits will get better. They may never feel the same as they did before a 7 pound human had a full body tour of your birth canal but they will feel better.

I well remember the feeling that my bits were dragging on the ground behind me and being in too much pain to sit, stand upright or walk. Or how my bits felt when I washed on the shower - like horrific abnormal structures that could not possibly belong to a human female. It will get better.
I hope the antibiotics help quickly!

Thanks Jacksmama - he was 9lb 6oz which probably explains the damage he caused! Feeling a bit better today emotionally so hopefully the physical side of things wont be too far behind! xx

9 lbs 6!!!!!

Wow, you grow good babies!! Mine was 7 lbs 7. The damage done wasn't actually him, it was the bloody salad tongs forceps they shoved up me to get him out... at least 24 hours after they figured out that he was stuck crooked... so there really was plenty of time to figure out an alternate plan

I'm gad your feeling better.
((((HUG))))

Just wanted to say I had a 2nd degree tear (not stitched) and it took 10 weeks to heal fully. Doctor could tell at my postnatal check that it was healing but needed a bit more time.

coffechat- sending hugs to you. i had bad tear, stiches infected and couldn't walk for 6 weeks- finally they resutured and it was the best thing- was up and walking 24 hrs later.keep getting checked by gp/hv and don't accept being fobbed off- the pain is very waring and exhausting, just when you should be recovering and enjoying your beautiful baby.good luck!

Thanks garden - can I just ask, when they resutured what kind of anaesthetic did you have? Do they do it under local? I hate the idea of being knocked out but then again the thought of being awake while they are rummaging around down there again makes me feel pysically sick.

I know nothing of tears, but Floradix with iron is very good for feeling tired.

xx