Third baby, 30wks with large baby, will any one listen to my worries??!!!

[daisycat01]

Ok, I am 30wks with dd3. I have had a growth scan at 25wks and baby measured 28wks. I am booked in for another growth scan at 37wks. My DS1 was 9lb 10oz, and DS2 was 8lb7oz.
DS1 was shown to be big and I had growth scans through the latter stage of pregnancy. At my final growth scan the constulatant was on holiday and I had the locum, who said that my baby was going to be 7lb and that he couldnt understand what the fuss was about. He cleared me for a vaginal birth and as it was my first baby I had utter faith in the system. I had a very hard and long birth with ds1, ventouse & forceps, an episiotomy and lots of stitches. I had the duty staff, some of who were training, and a swap over on shift. I was left to labour, was pushing for far too long and was ignored when any concernes were raised. My recovery afterwards was hard and it took about 6 months before I felt comfortable and back to normal.
With DS2 I had a fantastic midwife who was with me from my booking in, she listened to all my worries and managed my care accordingly, when I went into labour I called her and she came and delivered the baby taking care to make sure that I didnt tear or need stiches. It was brilliant and I felt fantastic afterwards.
I am worried about this birth, they dont have the same system as they did with my ds2, you get what ever midwife is on duty. I am worried that I will have a simlar birth that I had with ds1 and end up with problems afterwards. My baby is showing to be large at the moment, but I was told by the consulatnat that I have shown that I can deliver a 9lb10oz baby vaginally so its not a problem! How do I make sure that my labour is managed so that they take into consideration my worries and listen to me rather than ignore me???!! Should I request a c section? I want to give birth naturally but I dont want stiches, tears or the nightmare of a recovery that I had first time round!

EEEEKKK!!

DS1's birth was very similar to your first birth and my concerns when pregnant with ds2 were thet same.

Initially I wanted a c - section but was told the same about having proven I could deliver a big baby. The consultant told me ds2 was measuring average and they were not concerned.

I did have a vaginal birth and ds2 weighed in at 11 pounds BUT. it was a much much better experience. 4 hours start to finish, no forceps or ventouse and only a few minutes pushing. I did tear quite badly but much speedier recovery than episiotomy

Cry uncontrollably at every midwife appointment. Get referred to maternity psychologist and cry buckets at each meeting with her.

I think that is the way to make sure they take your worries into consideration and listen to you rather than ignore you.

It seems to be working for me, anyway I'm 25 weeks with #2 after nightmare first birth, huge episiotomy and lots of stitches. Agony for weeks, being ignored, the whole works.

Psychologist went and talked to everyone and now they seem to be really conscious of this particular woman who had a bad time last time and is psychologically on edge, so should be treated really well and should not be let to tear nor given a routine episiotomy.

Your birth sounds like my first baby! measuring 4 weeks bigger for dates, 34 week scan said she was nearly 7lb!
I had 36 hour labour, my midwife left for another birth and i had a whole bunch of hosp midwives that made me push on non dialated cervix, she got stuck in birth canal, then had epidural, forceps and episiotomy after 3 1/2 hours of pushing. Stitches burst a weeklater and i ended up back in hospital. 9.12 pound baby girl 4 days over (i was born at 11 pound)

2nd baby i was PARANOID and ate salad and excersized furiously to have a smaller baby, but sure enough he started measuring large at 30 weeks. 5 1/2 hour labour, 2 hours pushing, he got stuck just like my 1st then ventouse and episiotomy again. 9.5 pound 1 day early (after sweep and castor oil). You need to realy get across to your midwife how worried you are.....

I so know how you feel as i am gonna be terrified next time (i want 3 kids) so
3rd time round i will request an epidural immediatly and try and induce myself around 38 weeks with castor oil! And maybe get a size scan at 37 weeks. Some peoples pelvis/canal etc is too small for the size of their babies!

Sorry you're not feeling listened to, can you tell them so at your next appointment? Not surprised youre feeling anxious about it, although I'd reckon that if you've had 2 prior vaginal births it should have paved the way for this one so to speak, especially if the second went a bit more smoothly. My brother and I were both huge babies, and apparently whilst my birth was a difficult drawn out process my brother's (no 2) was pretty quick and easy, and he was even bigger. I've not been so lucky having ended up with an emergency cs with a very big baby, not for want of trying for days, but from what I've read about big babies your consultant might have a point. If you felt great after DS2 I wouldn't go down the section route, I think they're often necessary but the recovery isn't ideal. Is a water birth an option (she says with envy!)? I've read that they can help soften the skin and therefore reduce tearing? It's also supposed to help support you in positions that might be helpful in delivering a bigger baby (i.e. more upright).

www.bigbaby.org has some info that might be helpful

Hope it's all going well!

i feel rather similar at the moment........

ds1 was a little 7lb 8oz

ds2 was a massive 10lb 8oz....i knew he was big because i was so sodding uncomfortable and my weight rocketed in the last month of pregnancy.

he was 10 days over due....i had to beg to be induced...no joke i put on the biggest dramatic effort possible (actually ended up genuinely crying cause i said horrible things about the baby and felt really bad)

when he came out he looked like a three month old

just had a growth scan and they think baby will be 8lb....baised on what??? i still have 4 wks to go.

i have glucose in my blood and urine, 2+ protein in urine and ketones...no one seems concerned...no plans as yet but may be induced on due date.....

Sorry it's bigbaby.org.uk