Giving birth/labour without a partner - advice needed

[littledorry]

I posted this www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/645873-Labour-and-Birth-alone-has-anyone-done-this on the lone parent board, but only received one reply which suggested linking here.
If anybody could take the time to look I would be most grateful.

any reason why you can;t ahve a doula? if it is financial many offer a sliding scale, also many trainees will work for expenses only or even for free to get the experience.

Is there no-one that can be with you, a friend perhaps. I had my sister with me but only at the pushing stage. The birth was faster than anticipated. I think I would have coped without but it was lovely to have someone close to welcome DD into the world with me.

Sorry if this didn't help.

A girl I know from playgroups was dumped by her partner while pg. She thought she would have no-one to be with her. But when she told a few people that she was worried about giving birth alone, soooo many other mums offered to be there with her.
You might think its a huge thing to ask of someone but its not, you don't have to be lifelong friends or a relative to help a mum when she's giving birth.

I would suggest finding a trainee doula (already suggested above) as they may come with you and support you for free.
Also, if you are in a hospital where they train student midwives you could have a student midwife with you helping the actual midwife and she would be likely to stay with you pretty much all the time.
(I myself was once a student midwife and remember looking after a couple of ladies in labour by themselves- my midwife popped in and out of the room, but I stayed in mostly all the time except for short tea breaks etc when the midwife came in to take my place - you can build up a nice relationship with them and they will hold your hand etc when you need it, rub your back, get you drinks etc etc).
I think it's nice to have someone on your side, holding your hand if you need it. But it doesn't necessarily have to be a partner, friend etc
(When I had DD2 DH slept in the corner of the room while the student midwife breathed contractions with me and held my hand. She was far more help than he was!!!!!!)

My feeling is that if the hospital realise you are going to be alone they will do what they can to make sure you're not left alone throughout labour.
(or certainly that was my experience anyway).
Best of luck, hope all goes well.

This almost happened to me when I had a section with DD2. I was having a planned c-section, but on the day my DH was ill. After much discussion the theatre team said he couldn't come in to theatre and asked that he didn't come onto the wards afterwards, which obviously we respected. He went home to look after DD1 and my mother rushed to hospital to be with me instead, but we didn't expect her to make it in time as I was already being prepped for surgery. The midwives and all the team were amazing, kind friendly wonderful, giving me so much attention and I found I wasn't worried at all about being on my own. In the end my slot was bumped by an emergency section and I had to wait an extra hour or so, meaning my mum just made it in time to be with me.

So my advice, if you are having a section - don't worry about it, you'll be fine on your own. I'm not sure I would have been happy with a natural birth on my own though.

I am also in this position at the moment. Well, slightly different as I don't want my ex to be there.

My mum is looking after DD while I go in. It is looking more likely that it'll be an elective section, early in the new year.

I have asked midwives and obs team how they feel about it and they are fine and were very reassuring. In fact they did hint that they prefer not to have anyone there from a professional point of view ("they rarely help proceedings and sometimes can be a complete pain!")

Am quite happy with the decision having had time to think it through.

Good luck.

I had my Mum - does that count? It was an elective section.

Back in my local hospital for the next four days it was 'known' that there was no father and everyone was lovely to me.

i gave birth on my own as dh hadn't been called and no midwife as they didnt think i was in labour, my labour was only 1hr 40mins long but to be quite honest i preferred it on my own!