When will my 2nd degree tear start to feel better? Need to hear some encouraging stories!

[Jojay]

I know it's early days but I gave birth to gorgeous DS2 a week ago today.

I had a straight forward, if fairly fast delivery, and tore in a strange way. I don't know why it was strange exactly but I had lots of different people all come in for a good gawp!

Anyway, they stitched me up and it didn't feel too bad for the first few days.

Since about day 4 though, I've got a tear in my labia (sorry if TMI) that is really sore. It stings like hell when I wee, and it's pretty uncomfortable to sit down or walk any distance.

Has anyone else had this? How long till you felt ok again? DH is on paternity leave atm, so he's looking after 23 mth old DS1 a lot, but I'm dreading the thought of trying to keep him entertained ion my own, feeling sore like this.

I had 2nd degree tear with my DD and it was uncomfortable for a while. You've probably been doing this, but I had a shallow bath with a few drops of lavender oil in it every morning and poured warm water with lavender oil over the stitches every time I had a wee. Think it helped the healing. It took a few weeks to feel less uncomfortable, but was definitely fine by my 6 week check (until nurse gave me a smear test without warning, which was agony!). Have you got the midwife to check the stitches for you? None of mine did, despite my complaining they were uncomfortable, then about 10 days after the birth a different midwife came and offered to have a look. She removed a knot that hadn't dissolved and that made a big difference.

I had a third degree tear and although it was agony it did feel a little better once the stitches had disolved. I would maybe get the midwife or HV to have a quick look at them for you.

I had second degree tears with both first and second babies (in same place). In both cases they were painful for about a week or so (agree that pouring warm water with lavender oil in over the stitches when going to the toilet really helped), then they sort of 'tugged' uncomfortably for a few days but by the third week I, as far as I remember, both had pretty much healed. The problem now is that I have scar tissue in that place so am pretty much guaranteed to tear again in the same place with number three

I'd say that if you are still finding yourself in pain at the end of the second week, that it would definitely be worth asking someone to have a look. A friend of mine who is a midwife says that a huge number of women suffer for longer than they need with this sort of thing partly through embarrassment, partly because they can't find time, and partly because once they get in 'mummy mode' self-sacrifice seems to come with the territory.

My children are certainly well worth the marks they have left on my body but they have made and my husband is nothing but supportive and helpful but ... does it sometimes annoy anyone else that men become fathers without any physical damage?

I had a 3/4th degree tear 1st time and it wasn't bothering me by 3 weeks just felt a bit sort of tight for a little while after
I had a epsio and 3rd degree tear with 2nd and I think that took longer to heal. TBH I think it was the epsio struggling to heal as opposed to the tear but even then it was only a few weeks.
Hope it feels better soon

2nd degree tear - took me about 3 weeks i think

i had lots of warm baths with lavender oil and took arnica which seemed to help

add a cup of milk to the bath water - this helps the oil mix

First time round I had 1st degree tear - but a complicated one, tore in 3 different places and got lots of people coming to gawp too - then a 2nd degree tear with dc2. Both times I was much better after a fortnight, and felt fine by the 6 week check.

I used lavender, and also had a gel with a mix of aromatherapy oils. The gel was really good. I got it from the hospital but an aromatherapist would be able to make you up something similar I think.

I noticed you said that it started feeling worse after the 4th day - I would definitely get my stitches checked if I were you, just in case. I would've been concerned if I started to feel sorer after a few days.

Congrats by the way!

I had a few second degree tears and an epsio with DS. I think it took a few weeks to feel better and had lots of salt baths with lavender oil and milk. I also had my stiches checked by the midwife and she took a few of the ones out that were pulling badly after about a week. I would definitely get midwife to check as it was such a relief to get them removed....

Thanks everyone - the midwife did check my stitches yesterday, and said they looked ok. She took a swab to check for infection just in case though, and I should get the results on Thursday.

I had an episiotomy with DS1 and I think it was ok after a couple of weeks, and this seems to be the general concensus, so roll on next week!!

Thanks again xx

Oh good, I'm so glad your MW did a swab for infection - I was going to tell you that. I had a really horrible tear and was stitched to hell and gone, and when DS was around three weeks old the stitches were suddenly so painful I couldn't sit properly. That last for ten days!! My MW (stupid old cow!!!) told me to take lots of Epsom salt sitz baths... I was finally in such pain I saw my GP, she did a swab and immediately prescribed antibiotics. It was bliss when they kicked in and the pain went away!!!

Jacksmama you didn't have my midwife did you? She was also a huge cow-bag.....

Well not unless you're in Canada too but maybe they're sisters???

I think they may be distant cousins Jacksmama...

I had an episiotomy (sp) and a labial tear and it probably took 3 weeks to feel better. Infact I do recall posting here for similar advice! I found the pain of the stitches far worse than labour which really surprised me. Tea tree oil in the bath helped. Hope you are feeling better soon.