Child birth - anecdotes and funny stories

[MamanFlo]

Hello mums !

do any of you have anecdotes or funny stories about child birth and delivery? Someone started a similar thread on a french forum and this is just hilarious !

Can't wait to read you !

Flo

I gave birth to ds2 on a busy street in rush hour

I had the unfortunate experience of attempting to urinate whilst under the influence of gas and air, pethidine and an epidural(yep I'm a wimp) Sat on the delivery bed totally oblivious to the fact that I was weeing without realising, then being hauled up, midwife under one arm, dh2b under the other and then trying to get it into the bed pan.
The midwife asked if I had finished, I said I don't know. dh2b says........I can smell you have finished.
I'll let you work out the rest

scampadoodle , you can't leave us without details of this ! how did it happen ??? good or bad experience ?

BTW DH is convinced that if you deliver on a plane your child gets free tickets on the plane company for his whole life.

yeah.....was it actually on the street?
my dh2b reckons you get free season ticket at Alton tours if you labour there......what you would be doing there in th first place being pregnant I just don't know lol

...after delivering DS (1st baby), had the injection for stage 3 (placenta delivery) was feeding DS "on the breast", midwife asked me to give a little push and pressed by tummy at same time (student midwife watching in background". Placenta flew out, hit midwife full in face, covered her from top to toe in "gunk", she stood rigid, still then wiped away muck from her eyes, turned to student midwife and said..."and that is why you should wear your protection goggles during delivery....." DH and I pissed ourselves laughing ...and still laugh about it to this day. The whole experience was fantastic and this was icing on the cake !

When DS was born the ever so proud daddy came out with.... "Huge Bo**ks!!"

I have never been so embarrased in my entire life!!!!

I had so much gas and air that when the guy came to do the epidural, I told him id snog him. I'm not usually so forward, hahaha!

Excellent !
the placenta delivery made me laugh a lot !

other stories ? It's good to lower my stress levels before my big day ...

Not really funny for me - but probably looked quite amusing from and outsiders point of view.

All pain relief had failed, I had vaginismus and everytime the consultant gave me an internal I screamed as it was so painful------"Why are you screaming"...............err because it hurts!!!

Also with the failed epidural they were CONIVNCED that it could be the start of a rupture (it was a VBAC) as I could still feel pain. They kept asking me where it hurt - so I kept telling them.............on my right side and in my bum - it was as if they didnt believe me and had to keep pointing! "Are you sure it's not in the front" YES I'M BLOODY SURE!!!!

lucy5 - I said I'd marry guy doing the epidural AND have his babies......

with no2, I was hammering on the labour ward door shouting 'for f's sake -- let us in...' think they were having a big extended lunch or something.
when we were finally buzzed in, there was no one there to meet us. I staggered around shouting, 'where the f is everybody? I want an anesthetist NOW' before breaking into an empty delivery suite and clambering onto the bed.
to be fair, 3 hospital staff turned up instantly they practically skidded on the linoleum including the anesthetist. When i screamed, 'where are the drugs?' he shouted, 'Here they are!' in a very camp fashion, and waved the box reassuringly in my face.
However, it was too late for the epidural and DS popped out a few mins later.

I had a scare at 34 weeks and went into the delivery suite where they called the dotor to see me. He was very dismissive and rude, eventually diagnosing a urine infection . When I went into labour 6 weeks later he was doing a ventouse delivery when I got an urge to vomit suddenly so I did...projectile all over the doctor. He was sooo disgusted and jumped up really quickly, trying to clean it all off but I was totally unconcerned. dd arrived very soon afterwards! dh was quite chuffed with me. My friend had a similar experience except she sprayed blood all over her doctor

(Anyone else think it's a well kept secret that you vomit during labour? Or was it just me? I think it was the epidural, personally)

bp I know those rooms so well. sigh.

I threw up early in labour - had some sandwiches while I was waiting for the induction to 'work' - contractions started coming quick and fast and I threw it all up - strange thing is with everything else that happened I only remembered about 2 months later that I'd been sick!

While in labour with DD2, I knew I was about to be sick. As I turned to DH to ask for a bowl I couldn't even speak and so just threw up. He had realised something was wrong tho from the look on my face and was stood right in the way.....poor man had to suffer thro the rest of my labour smelling of vomit, and me telling him he made me feel sick!!!

Vomiting in labour seems quite common tho...or at least for me. I have been sick thro every labour, and that includes each of the times I have been in prem labour too!!!!