Do you have to be stitched if you tear?

[lauraloola]

Maybe a stupid question but was wondering if you could let your tear heal naturally without being stitched?

I had a 2nd degree tear with dd and am sure they have stitched me wrong, I can feel something 'odd' down below and am petrified of having sex (poor dp, it has been over a year!) Just wondering for next time (I know, need to have sex before I can give birth again )

Anyone had a tear and not been stitched?

Poor you sounds like you had a really bad experience.

As to whether you have to be stitched I think it depends on the tear...lots of debate about whether or not to stitch me back up after DD was born. In the end they did and I'm lucky it was OK but the fact they were talking about not suggests its not automatic.

depends how bad. have you really not had sex in over a year? i just had sex after a 3rd degree tear 5 weeks ago - with a bit of lube it was fine. go for it! a year is a long time.

I had a second degree tear with DD1 and was advised by MW not to have it stitched. It did heal really well, but I did tear again with DD2 (not nearly as badly and so again no stitches). I actually wish now that I'd been stitched with both, as the wounds just heal, they don't close and heal IYSWIM. Now I worry about having enough support down there in the years to come. Also, I'm a bit self-conscious about it. Fortunately my other half is just fantastic and that makes a big difference to me.
Speaking to a consultatnt obs about it, he says MWs can be more keen not to do it as they are taking a more short term view.

Nope!! Dd is 4 months old now, didnt have sex while pregnant due to various medical reasons. Poor dp has given up asking now!

I see what you mean gybegirl, interesting point of view.

well the midwife said " you have a small tear but the edges overlap so the research suggests that would be best to leave to heal on its own without stitches". So we did, it was sore for a few weeks but now its fine. Think it depends how bad the tear is and probably on the opinion of the midwife. How about a few glasses of wine and some KY???!!!

I was cut nd stiched with DS1.

I tore 2nd degree and was also stiched with DS2.

Both times I felt "something" there for a while.

Could not see, so practice nurse checked me out after much prevaricaiton. Could you go see her?

I had a 2nd degree tear ( after being left for an eternity in stirrups alone, while the 'unqualified' nurse went off to find someone to watch her, people wandered in and out) by the time she came back I was in agony from the start. It was excruciating and I begged her to stop, had to scream til a qualified doctor came and did the deed quickly and without pain.

There is something not quite right down below but have not been brave enough to go back and have it seen to.

The most humiliation came when the doctor put his finger up my bum to make sure everything was sealed. I couldn't go through that again.

When the tear has healed it feels hard, this is because it is scar tissue and doesn't have the elasticity of rest of your vagina.

I had a 2nd degree tear and stitches. It was painful to have sex for ages afterwards. After about a year I could bare to have intercourse with loads of lube. dd is 2 now and I'm only just enjoying sex properly again. fortunately dh is very understanding.

A lot of people do end up getting stitched up badly, so if you are worried you should get it checked out.

You do just have to keep giving it a go though. It will get better!

Miss Moggy, I rather enjoyed that bit, much to DH's embarrassment!

LOL Pushka!