Overdue Blues! And other worries...

[boolean]

I am 41 weeks today and brand new to all of this. I always had a feeling that my baby would be late but I'm starting to get worried that I will have to be induced and it's getting me down - from what I've read it sounds more painful and you are less likely to have an active birth. The idea of being restricted to lying on a bed while I'm labouring is stressing me out, although I'm trying to stay relaxed and enjoy the calm before the storm of the baby arriving.

On top of this I have also started imagining horrible things, such as the baby being stillborn or having a severe disability. I know it's stupid, and won't be doing me any good, but I am just desperate to meet him/her at long last.

Sorry if this sounds really needy and pathetic, I suppose it's the hormones. I'm normally quite a rational person and feel a bit of a div now! Oh well...

You don't sound at all "divvy".

I don't think there is a woman on the planet who doesn't fear about the well beng / health etc of her unborn child and the stress of waiting is horrid.

I also worried about being induced and actually I took castor oil, but I am not recommending you do. I had 2 castor oil kids and one that wasn't and the 1 that wasn't was the definitely the lest painful.

Thing you have to remember is hundreds of thousands of women are induced and they all live to tell the tale. All that matters is the safe delivery of your baby and that is goinf to happen, and soon

I take you have tried all th usual things, nipple stimulation, sex, long walks, pineapples etc

I went to 41+3 with DD, and I got SO sick of people calling to ask "have you had it yet?"

Easier said than done, but try and relax - a lot of women have a good birth experience after an induction. Plus you never HAVE to have an induction if you don't want one - you should be offered expectant management as an alternative, where you get monitored regularly to make sure everything is OK. This page has lots of info for women that go overdue - its part of the homebirth website, but its pretty applicable to any woman wanting to avoid induction.

Its hard to do, but try and trust your instincts. If you feel fine and you have no concerns about your baby then its much easier to be prosaic (some women just cook there babies for longer, after all) - but if you DO have any concerns then an induction might not be such a bad idea.

I found this poem helped me stay calm:

My baby's not a library book,
so she's not overdue.
My baby don't take long to cook,
coz she's not veggie stew.

My baby's not an elephant,
and I'm not fit to burst.
The time and date aren't relevant,
we're blessed with days, not cursed.

My baby can't read dates as yet,
because she's very new.
So there's no cause to fuss and fret,
if she don't come on cue.

So stop your worry,
stop your asking,
there's no hurry
we're relaxing
in this golden pregnant time,
this pause, which is just hers and mine.

You leave us be, we are just fine.

Fingers crossed for you, whatever happens

Thanks both!

Thomcat - I have tried the long walks and spicy food! I keep hinting to DH about sex but seeing as we haven't done it once since I got pg I'm not sure if he's up for it...I might just have to blackmail him! Pineapples are on the shopping list!! And thank you for the wise words

Tangle - Yes! It is the constant texts and emails asking me for news and I know that I should be grateful that people care but honestly, I just want to say "of course it's not f*ing here yet, you think I wouldn't have mentioned it?!" . I love that poem, might put it on my Facebook page!!

I'm seeing the MW on Weds and was worried that she'll start trying to book me in for an induction, so I will read up before I go. And it's a full moon tomorrow night, so maybe that will kickstart things! howls

You can refuse induction and request monitoring. I didn't have the confidence to flatly refuse but I did request to be allowed to go to 14 days over instead of 10 just for a few days extra grace.

Just to give you a glimmer of hope, at 41+1 I was really down in the dumps because I hadn't had any signs of labour at all and was convinced that I'd have to be induced. In the early hours of 41+2 I started having contraction and my baby was born less than 7 hours later. I'd had no braxton hicks, no loss of plug, no twinges, nothing.

I never got round to doing the sex thing, just couldn't face it, but my mw did tell me that it was very effective - all the natural prostaglandins in the sperm. Remember to lie with your legs up for 20 minutes after!

Wrt your fears, I think they're completely normal. As pp said, I don't know a single woman who doesn't have fears of this kind. I tend to think that's just part of pregnancy.

Fingers crossed the full moon'll do it!

Hi - like others said you can refuse induction. I had my first child four weeks ago and he was 17 days overdue! I opted to be monitored, but if you do decide to do that, you might find that there is alot of pressure, I found this, despite the fact that I'd made an informed choice. Akso, if you do accept induction, afaik there is no reason not to have an active birth, unless they end up giving you the drip to get things going. And your worries are perfectly normal, I'm sure all mums have felt the same way

Boolean,

I'm 41 weeks tomorrow and am so glad to see your post. I've been having exactly the same worries you've mentioned. This is my first baby so I'm finding the waiting for the unknown of labor to be very stressful emotionally. I'm concerned about my baby's well being and am constantly checking for movement. I've got an appointment on Wednesday as well and laughed when you mentioned the full moon tomorrow. I'm clinging to that as my last hope for a natural start of labor too!
I suppose I just wanted to thank you for posting because you've made me realize that I'm not alone. I hope that realization will help put you at ease a bit as well.
My fingers are crossed for us both to deliver healthy babies (quickly!) on the 14 Oct!!

Boolean - exactly. My response was going to be "Oh, sorry, didn't we tell you? We had it last week...". DH decided he better answer the phone

As far as you can, try and put your feet up and rest (I totally underestimated how exhausting a newborn baby was)! If you really can't manage that, stock the freezer with lasagne and shepherds pie or whatever else takes your fancy.

Its worth remembering that the World Health Organisation define "term" as anywhere between 37 and 42 weeks. So you can make a good argument that you're not even overdue yet.

Fingers crossed you both have good labours (and the howling gets a quick response )

I went 12 days overdue and they were about the most miserable of my whole pregnancy: I was bored, frustrated and emotional and the constant pestering from friends and relatives really pissed me off. No advice I'm afraid (beyond what Tangle has suggested), just wanted to offer my heartfelt sympathy - DD is 16 days old, so it's all still very vivid. If nothing else, the threat of induction seems to get things moving for a lot of people (DD finally showed up five hours before our booked induction).

Just spoke to my best mate on the phone - she lives 200 miles away but has been through all of this (twice), so between having a good old natter with her and you lovely lot am feeling much better!

At least where I live they let you go to 14 days before trying to induce you - 10 days seems ridiculous, especially as some countries count full term as over 41+ weeks anyway (France? Am I right or just making this up!?)

Hi fall08baby - fingers crossed for tomorrow night then! You shall find me dancing barefoot on the local rec (trying to avoid the dogshit and used needles)!

Don't feel like a bit of a div.. it's a worrying time and your mind is in constant overdrive imagining the imaginable. I too always felt my babies would be late.. my DD was 10 days late and then came naturally, had a water birth. My DS was 9 days late.. and I was induced as his heartbeat was dropping considerably.. his birth was much quicker and more intense than DD's but I enjoyed both as much as you can possibly enjoy!! I would say just enjoy the last days before the mayhem of a newborn takes over your house and your life! Also you will start to get less phone calls as you go over a week overdue.. people get fed up calling and stop hassling you.. following that you will get pissed off that everyone has forgotten about you.. bloody pregnancy hormones.