Heavy feeling after childbirth and painful sex. Any experience or knowledge?

[Kaedsmum]

When the baby was coming out (turned to the side) I screamed because I feolt something rip sort of behind my clit inside.

Ever since, I have an achey pain there, right inside. It hurts arfter sex, it aches if I sit for too long, it hurts when I wee etc.

I also have a heavy feeling like my insides are going to drop out of my fanjo. I had a scan of my womb shortly after having the baby because I was bleeding risiculous amounts, and they said my womb had shrunk back to normal... so what could be the problem?

Also, I have avery large skin tag from bad stitches that they won't take off. It looks like a mini penis is coming out of my fanjo how humiliating.

My periods hvn't returned, and I had the baby 11 weeks ago.. is this normal?

When you say that they won't remove a bad skin tag, do you mean your GP? I found that a had to see several useless GPs before I found one that was willing to refer me to a specialist (it was a male doctor who referred me by they way - and I wondered if it was a way of not having to deal with the problem himself - could be an idea). You really need to see a gynae to find out if anything can be done. However be warned that 11 weeks is still considered early in the game by a lot of medical professionals - my gynae told me that she won't consider surgery on my bits until 6 months after I deliver DD2 (problems are from delivery of DD1 but I'm pregnant again), and I've finished breastfeeding. There are things that can be done in terms of physio though, that perhaps can help with the "heavy" feeling. Did anyone mention physio?

Finally, re: sex, have you tried all the usual stuff - glass of wine, loads of foreplay, gallons of lube? If you're breastfeeding (I assume that you are because you haven't had a period yet) then you will probably be quite dry in your vagina. It's not a bad idea to use lube for just walking and living, in my experience, if you are getting very uncomfortable.

PS forgot to say, I'm sorry, it really sucks, doesn't it?

I know the penis-coming-out-of-the-fanjo thing and the dropping-out-of-the-fanjo thing all too well, following hideous birth with DS. I grumbled and grumbled at doctors until I was finally referred to a consultant who said I was imaginining it .

In desperation, I saw a private consultant, who was marvellous. He said I have a cervical prolapse, and offered various options on a scale from "leave it alone if you can bear it", to "cervical hysterectomy". He said the decision was largely based on the patient's level of discomfort, and the extent to which it affects her life.

I'm not saying you have the same problem, but it really is worth pursuing this one - it is definitely an idea to get it looked at by someone who really knows what they're talking about. The gynaecologist I saw was expensive, but I asked around to find out who the best person was in our area, and it was money well worth spent. Even just having a real diagnosis made a big difference to me!

I do feel for you, and I hope you manage to get it sorted out. These things really are upsetting...

Absolutely worth having it checked by a professional, but also worth baring in mind that sometimes it things take a very long time to heal, particularly in a sensitive area. I had an episiotomy scar that although was stitched and healed correctly ( I had it checked out ), it was still painful to have sex for 6 months after the birth, but it got there eventually.

I also have a bulbous bit of flesh protruding from my fanjo, from my second birth ( I have three ) and whilst a bit unsightly it has never caused me any pain.

You might need some help, or it might just be a case of giving it more time.

11 weeks is still very early.
After DS1 I was in a lot of siscomfort similar to you. It hurt to have sex until almost 6 months.
After that all is fine. Completely back to normal, just took me ages to heal and feel better.
I didnt get a period for 5 months or so after both births either. Bottle fed both. So it is within normal time for yours still to come when your body is ready.

Much the same as 2.4 here, very little stichable trauma but had a graze on one side inside that hurt during sex until ooo, about 9 months after, and I had a little labial tear that would have needed a single stitch so I didnt bother, and that really really bothered me during sex until just recently - 17 months. No period till 8 months but breastfed to 7.

Don't rush it. And its never going to feel the same again, which took me a long time to get to grips with.

I went to my Dr nearly in tears a couple of months after I had DS because I thought I'd had some sort of prolapse - I had a skin tag and heavy feeling (similar to that dragging feeling during a period) if I stood up for too long.

She reassured me it wasn't a prolapse - just a skin tag from where I was stitched for an internal tear and that I could have a small op to have it fixed if it bothered me.

It has never given me any pain so I didn't pursue the op. The heavy feeling went away on its own (although I did up the pelvic floor exercises!) after a few more months.

You have to remember that even if you look healed on the outside you may have a lot of bruising you can't see and that can take a while to heal.

I always take the view with the Docs that if you don't ask you don't necessarily get! If you are in pain go back and ask to be referred to a specialist.

Sorry same advice - its still very early.

I had DD 18 weeks ago and totally understand the feelings you mean I fully expected to be told I had a prolapse when I ahd my 6 weeks check and thought there was something wrong with the doc. Just standing up or putting dd in her crib I could 'feel' my scar and couldn't even think of sex so well done you!!!

I now totally believe that you have to give your body at least 6 months to get back to normal - after all it took 9 months to make the baby.

Your pelvic floor exercises will help loads - I've been very bad at doing these.

With all that said if you are concerned you should go to the docs and demand some help - you must look after yourself the way you look after your lo, if there was something wrong with them you would be straight there!!!!

Just to add a note about pelvic floor exercises - as well as lifting everything up, they also increase the blood flow to the area, which helps with healing tears and episiotomy scars.
They really couldn't be more important!

Sorry, same from me too. Hope it makes you feel a bit better, though, to know it's not just you.
I remember the heavy sensation after I had DS. When I stood up or walked around it felt like I had a bag of shopping up my fanny, and it was going to drop out at any minute.
Sitting down was no better either, as I had stitches due to a forceps delivery, and the wound became infected - nice - oh the joys of childbirth.
I can't remember when the heavy sensation went away, but DS is 8 months old now and I've felt normal down below for several months now.
Mind, my fanny looks nothing like my old one. Like Celery, I have a bulbous bit of flesh - it's a bit like a triangular shaped flap pointing towards my bum hole

Thanks so much for all these replies, very much appreciated, as I was starting to think I was on my own in having a ridiculous fanjo.

Poor us Celery and Eaglebird with our odd flaps. Dotoressa- I'll definately get checked for that! How terrible.

Mrstittle- We've been having sex since baby was 3 weeks old and it's good- it's just afterwards that's all weird. i'll ask about physio, and I'll definately get on those pelvic floors. The feeling goes through me though like chewing tin foil or nails down a blackboard... is that just me?

xx