Labouring at home....

[MrUmble]

My wife is planning to labour for as long as possible at home.... anyone have any tips?

Ive got a few DVDs for her to watch, relaxing music CDs, candles etc... but what else should I think about to help out?

well, if she can she will be more comfortable

i spent 4 hours in the bath

she will need CHOCOLATE and lots of it

trash mags

oh, and do EXACTLY what she asks of you

Cushions / pillows / stools / birth ball / or anything else that you can think of that can be used to help her find a comfy position.

Things my DH did that helped HUGELY were - breathing in my ear every time mine became erratic and I just copied his breathing and light massage - just finger tips up from the base of the spine - light as a feather.

You sound lovely

yes

do not suggest at any point during labour, when she is leaning over something groaning softly, that that would be a good position for bonky bonky just ask my DH !

do what she asks

be prepared to mop up sick

make sure you are within shouting distance

she might not want any music or telly

good firm pressure and massage at the bottom of her back can really help

a bath can be good

encourage her to eat lightly, complex carbs.. and to drink

remind her to go to the loo regularly

don;t let people visit or try to talk to her on the phone when she is labouring

know the signs for getting ready to go to hospital - ctx at least 5 , possibly 3 minutes apart and lasting 1 minute or so, she is going itno herself more, needing to close her eyes, breathe and concentrate , she takes longer to come 'back down to earth' after a ctx.

don;t wait for when her waters go, sometimes theyu don';t go until baby is imminent.

be prepared for crying, shouting or silence.

you just don;t know!

and most importantly, don;t ask her to make you a packed lunch for the hospital, again , ask my DH why not !! LOL!

feed and water yourself and make sure she is not worried about you

I also found isotonic drinks really helpful as I had no appetite plus they quenched my thirst instantly whereas water sat too heavily and threatened to come back up again!

So either sports drinks if she likes those or diltued fruit juice AND A STRAW!!

Calm music, bath, paracetamol, DVDs, a calm DP who will accept her being a bit grumpy and in pain - who wont panic when her contractions hurt!

I laboured at home from 5:30am - 7pm, gave birth after 4 hours in hosp.

Be prepared for her to change her mind, and let her do it if she needs/wants to.

Get everything ready in the car when she first goes into labour so that when she says 'go' you can just get in and go to hosp.

Keep in touch with labour ward.

Do make sure she puts some clothes on well inadvance of deciding to go to the hospital.

I'd been in and out of the bath all day and only got dressed just before we left, when the contractions are coming thick and fast its not fun trying to put your socks etc on!

The biggest help to me whilst at home was my dp himself. When I had a contraction I would hug him, arms around his neck, and later, the same but with him applying pressure to my lower back with his hands. This helped SO much, both psychologically and physically.

You can play a very important role- labour was going great until we got to the hospital and the bloody midwife made me lie on my back on the bed instead of following my instincts and carrying on labour "with" dp- it was frightening and agonising after (and probably because of) that.

But also be aware she may not want to be touched at all, and it's not because you're doing something wrong necessarily.

TENS...absolute life saver.

Oh and all of the above.

looking back, i am grateful for the fact that at no point during my very long (wednesday evening to friday morning) and rather more painful than i expected labour did my dp say "i TOLD you this was a bad idea" or ask me if i wanted to go to hospital, or suggest that maybe we should give up and go to hospital etc. and he kept me topped up with costa coffees and champagne.

didn't like tens much myself - spent first labour listening to some strange obscure album I had never heard before on a loop while pacing up and down. dp timed contractions like a military operation to feel in control I think ... bath was nice with first but hated it with second. tea and toast a must, and lots of it. didn't go in until the last minute with either baby and the hospitals (different one with each) didn't want us any sooner than contractions at 4 mins apart or something

someone else has said this but just do whatever your wife asks and do it immediately and exactly as she requests - I think that's the main thing!

Walking is really helpful. If your partner can manage a hobble round the block or up and down the stairs, that would be good. Also, if your partner suddenly says "I must go to hospital NOW" or the equivalent, just believe her. Don't mess about with "Oh, I'm not sure your contractions are near enough" etc. Just do it. She knows what she needs. I thought I was going to give birth in the car due to foolishly believing the accepted wisdom about what your contractions might be like and how long they should last etc. If I hadn't had to have an episiotomy, I might have given birth somewhere in the middle of Richmond Park.