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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

fanjo recovery please help.........

27 replies

biggreypants · 10/07/2008 09:18

Hi all I had my successful vbac 11 weeks ago and things do not seem right down there yet

I was checked by doctor yesterday and she said everthing seems okay no prolapse and all well supported. But I can feel my fanjo all the time if i squeeze in it feels more normal so I was hoping it just needs more time to regain more muscle tone?

Please reassure me ladys its still early days yet and I will feel normal again and feeling very very depressed now and bitterly regret not having a section again

Please help..

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MrsTittleMouse · 10/07/2008 10:57

11 weeks is still very early. I would do my pelvic floor exercises like a crazy woman and see how things go. Physiotherapy is a good bet if things don't improve. I saw the physios recently (am pregnant now) and they told us that there are lots of things that they can help with if regular PFEs don't seem to be working.
So please don't panic!

mum2oandh · 10/07/2008 11:04

It can take soooooooooooooooooooo long to heal properly and feel 'normal' again, it took me close to a year with my ds and 4 months after my dd, things down there are def. not right yet. Are you doing your pelvic floors?

Original poster

biggreypants · 10/07/2008 11:15

Thanks for your reply have just ordered a athena fem in the hope that will tighten things up!

Have read many of your posts MrsTittleMouse and you really have had a bad time I should stop grumbling and consider myself quite fortunate really

Its just hard when you.ve carried the baby for so long you just want to feel you again i just dont remember feeling this bad after my cs.

Congrats on the pregnancy

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Original poster

biggreypants · 10/07/2008 11:21

mum2oandh thankyou this is what I want to hear everyone seems to say you snap back to normal after a couple of weeks this is why I feel so abnormal!
If I knew for sure that I would feel like me again and not a huge walking vagina for the rest of my life I would feel so much better!

Am squeezing like mad

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MrsTittleMouse · 10/07/2008 11:30

Thank you.
When I went to the physios the main message seemed to be that a lot of women put up with dodgy fanjos or incontinence because they are too shy to see the GP - but that if they have physio then there is a really good chance that they can get a real improvement. They were encouraging the pregnant women to get referred if things weren't right.
But like I say, 11 weeks is really early for lots of people, and not just those who have more serious problems, like me.

2point4kids · 10/07/2008 11:43

With my first it took a good 4 months to feel even vaguely normal again. At about 6 months post birth I felt fine.
I had DS2 4 months ago and I have felt fine from weeks and weeks back this time

It does take a while, but you will get there!

StarlightMcKenzie · 10/07/2008 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

biggreypants · 10/07/2008 12:00

thanks ladies I really need a virtual slap round the chops to snap me out of this feeling sorry for myself business.
I know I am close to getting pnd over worrying about never getting back to normal.
One day I am fine the next everything is black and its hard to pull myself up again.
I really NEED these posts to reassure me so I can keep a grip on reality .
So big thankyous x

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mum2oandh · 10/07/2008 13:16

If you are still around bgp, thought I'd let let you know I'm leaning a bit on the pnd side myself, had it last time with my ds and somedays this time are very hard, hopefully the brain will tighten up along with the fanjo

lol by the way at huge walking vagina

maybe we should start a 'huge fannys no smiles' thread?

Mumsnut · 10/07/2008 13:23

Have you ever looked, Starlight? There's probably a whole sampler down there with a picture of the hospital and the date and everything ...

Original poster

biggreypants · 10/07/2008 13:28

hi still here its hard isn t it?
I felt a bit depressed with my last but nothing like this I feel as though I have something real to be upset about this time.

I had a choice this time how to give birth and I cant get past the feeling that I made the worst decision of my life should have had cs again so I knew what to expect.

I feel bad for my dd whos nearly 5 now she deserves a happy mummy so am trying to keep it together for her, when really I would like to crawl into a big black hole for a year or so.

can only get better right?

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MrsTittleMouse · 10/07/2008 13:32

No, it's not your fault!
Honestly, it's really early days. There are plenty of women on here that have had fanjo issues early on, but have solved them. And in a lot of cases it was time and pelvic floor exercising that did the trick. Like I said, even if that doesn't do the trick, there is help available.
I'm sure that you'd be feeling a bit more positive if you weren't running around after a 5 year old and a newborn too - exhaustion makes everything seem worse.

mum2oandh · 10/07/2008 13:36

It has to get better eventually, but some days are really crappy.
My ds is nearly 4 so like you I feel I have to put on a happy face for him, but this can be really difficult, wheras last time I could just feed and cry all day.
Getting a little bit tired of being told by dp, mum etc that it's 'just' pnd and will be gone soon, doesn't really help to get me through the day.
Sorry to moan and hijack, don't know anyone at the moment going through it.

FourArms · 10/07/2008 13:46

I had a VBAC with DS2, and like you felt like I'd made a big mistake afterwards. I had an extensive episiotomy to get him out, which didn't lend itself to stitching (kept tearing as they tried), and didn't heal well.

At my 12 week check, I remember being very worried and asking my GP when I could be referred for corrective surgery. I felt like it would never feel normal again. At some point after that, it did start to feel more like me again, but it happened gradually, so I don't remember when. He's now turned 2, and I can't feel any difference at all any more (and DH said he could never see or feel any difference from day 1 )

Original poster

biggreypants · 10/07/2008 13:47

mum2 please moan away its nice to know you are not alone. Did you get help last time?

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mum2oandh · 10/07/2008 13:56

Gp wanted me to take anti-depressants, but really didn't fancy it (have taken them in the past for deppression, and had bad side effects/withdrawal symptoms) I did have a couple of sessions with the surgery councellor, but we didn't get on, she just kept suggesting that I needed to rediscover my 'love for life' If only it was that easy.....

Original poster

biggreypants · 10/07/2008 13:57

Fourarms thankyou for sharing your story it is hard when you know you had a choice and I healed perfectly after my cs and never regretted it for a second (she was breech) I went for a vbac so I would nt have to struggle looking after my dd, but I would rather struggle with cs scar than my emotions over this any day!
I do have to go to gynea for a few stitches in my labia that was nt done at the time but this is just cosmetic (well i hope he will do it!)
my dh says I don't feel ant different, I actually feel more comfortable down there after I' ve had sex poor boy he is knackered
But the rest of the time I can feel my bits all the time and its driving me nuts!

OP posts:

Original poster

biggreypants · 10/07/2008 14:04

'love for life' well I loved my life before thats why I feel so crap now! very helpful woman
I am a bit wary of taking pills for this when I know time will hopefully heal. I hate wishing my ds baby days away though I know they will be gone in a flash.

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mum2oandh · 10/07/2008 14:08

bgp, try not to forget that feeling down is probably nothing to do with the way you gave birth, pnd is much more common with 2nd babies, so you probably would have felt this way even if you had of had a cs (and been regretting that instead) You should be really proud of yourself that you managed a vbac after a cs, and you probably would feel this way if you wern't so down, it's all a big catch 22 [grin}

mum2oandh · 10/07/2008 14:11

I know what you mean about wishing away the days too, I don't think I'll have any more dc's so I want to enjoy her, but I guess if you are not careful it just becomes one more thing to feel guilty/worried about.

Original poster

biggreypants · 10/07/2008 14:23

you re right I have a friend who had a cs same time as me and she still cant wear jeans as they irritate her scar so it could have gone wrong.
Last time I had a skin condition after pregnancy that doc said was very unusual all gone now but I was utterly convinced I had skin cancer and was going to die!
I am definately not having any more am sending dh for the snip
the day i wake up and dont feel as though a troup of boy scouts could take a potholing holiday in my fanjo anymore will be a happy happy day for me. I will then be able to pick my life back up and feel very proud of myself

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mum2oandh · 10/07/2008 14:33

I am convinced I am going to die of something terrible on a daily basis, all part of my deppression/anxiety. (Am quite pleased with how amusing that looks when read back )
Just have to get on with it I guess, am off to the launderette now.
Good luck with everything and it was nice chatting

Original poster

biggreypants · 10/07/2008 20:16

A quick bump for myself

any lovely ladies out there to reassure me tonight that I will eventually feel normal down there again.
Or explain the healing process to me?

dh gone out and am left feeling sorry for myself yet again

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mumoftoby · 10/07/2008 21:40

Internally I feel fine - but will always be left with a 'hole' in my labia where the stitches didn't fully heal after my first. It is just cosmetic so there is no way I am having it fixed. The stitches were way too painful the first time for them to have another go. DH will just have to put up with it.

I know I had an internal scan the day after my second was born in the urodynamics dept at Liverpool Womens. The midwife in that dept (Caroline Wood) is fab. The scan was actually to check my bladder following an issue during the pregnancy.

Caroline said that if I had any concerns at all about not healing to contact the womens. Would it be worth you phoning your local relevant hospital for some advice?

Minniethemoocher · 14/07/2008 22:12

I had a third degree tear and internal tearing of the vagina, it took 6 months before I felt no pain and a good year before back to normal I did pelvic floor exercises like crazy!

No more vag births for me! I am having a section this time!!

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