Induction Mums - Sad About Not Experiencing Spontaneous Labour?

[HeliosWife]

FTM, 8 weeks PP.

As it says on the title, did anyone who has accepted an induction also feel sad they didn't get to experience spontaneous labour, or feel robbed of the experience (if it turns out induction may not have been needed/could have been avoided).

If you're also a FTM, does it upset you to think you may not experience it if you tried again?

Feeling this way myself, interested to hear what others think.

Most people I know who have had both say it's not that different, in that you still get to experience labour and can (often) have the birth the way you want. Just quicker, for most people. A plus is you can definitely have who you want there, with normal labour, if you start very early, your husband/mum/sister might be a long way away and not get there in time. And you know for sure it's labour. With my first, for 6 hours I wasn't sure, very stop start. And if you want pain relief (totally your choice) you can get it sooner. Plus there's less worry, as you're being observed, not left when you're overdue.

I had 4 DC and 4 inductions as I always go over 42 weeks, even tried waiting to 42+3 but not something I would risk again as things weren’t so great.

By #4 I’d made my peace that it would happen, I’d have another whopper etc and tbh I was so much more relaxed and the labour and birth were amazing, wish I’d been more accepting previously.

20 years on it honestly doesn’t bother me at all I think once you are out of the early childhood bubble you move on as it’s such an insignificant part of parenthood just like breast vs bottle, c-section vs vaginal delivery.

A little bit sad yes. Would’ve loved to see how my body did natural labour. And perhaps then I would’ve got the water birth I wanted rather than being strung up like a supermarket chicken with drips!

Yes I was/ am. I had nearly 4 days of induction and then I asked for a c-section. At the time I couldn’t have continued but I have really struggled to process it all and accept it.

It just wasn’t what I had hoped for and I am sad about that, even though it was all for the best.

Also a FTM and I feel that it’s had a real knock on effect with my thoughts for potential second baby too. I desparately want a VBAC already but I don’t feel confident in my body and my ability to cope. I actually think that’s what’s bothering me the most.

I’ve a natural and an induction wasn’t really that much difference only difference was my ds was born really quickly with the induction I never had time for pain relief . I felt the contractions were also more intense

What was the reason for your CS if you don’t mind me asking? I think I read that VBACs at home have an 85% chance of success, could you try that? (Please do double check that though!)

2/2 induction at 37 weeks for pre-eclampsia.

NGL it used to a little, but not so much anymore (they're 7 and 4 now).

The inductions, labour and births themselves were fine. They were good experiences overall, and, with hindsight, I wouldn't have done anything once the inductions had started.

But there's always something to feel FOMO for when plans deviate from the expected path. For me, it's more stupid little questions like: When would their birthdays have been had I had a spontaneous labour? What time of day would they have been born? What time would it all have kicked off? How long would it have taken? How painful in comparison would it have been? Would my first have been born the same way (vaginally without assistance)? Would my second still have resulted in an emergency C-section, or would he have rotated if he'd been left to his own devices?

I had an especial tinge of sadness on their due dates. It seemed so weird to me that, in all likelihood, I would still have been pregnant with them. For up to another 2 weeks!

As they've grown, and their personality comes through, I'm certain that my eldest would have been very late. She's very slow and deliberate. Turfing her out of bed in the morning virtually takes a crowbar. Maybe she was always destined to be induced. My youngest though is a feisty thing. He hates to be forced to do anything and can be very stubborn and non-compliant in response. I don't think he would have been born on his due date, but I think he would have been a day or two either side.

But things are what they are. The inductions needed to happen to protect both myself and my children. Time has dulled the sharp edges of "what could have been".

I do feel like that too, I didn't have spontaneous labour or natural births despite having birth pools and a wonderful home birth team each time and I felt a lot of sadness about it and felt I'd failed, but I've come to terms with it mostly over the years. We're sold a lot about it birth being a special experience but actually at least for me it was more like three different emergency medical events that I received just about sufficient medical help that we survived. Each one was awful in different ways and nothing met the expectations of birth I'd been told about. But in any other medical incident I wouldn't be judging myself for not having the ideal experience I'd just be glad I got through it so I've just had to see it like that.

I feel like that.

I was 12 days over, had a pessary which didn’t work and I had only dilated 1cm from my due date, they wanted to do another induction but I refused and requested a CS which I did. Baby was 9lbs on the spot so quite thankful he didn’t come out vaginally 😂

I’m pregnant again and due in May, I’ve opted to try for a VBAC, unfortunately already denied a water birth as I had high blood pressure and will need to be monitored. My midwife said though that if I go a week over then I’ll automatically be put in for a c section which I really don’t as I don’t think I could cope with the recovery whilst having a 2 year old as well as a newborn.

I know no recovery is nice but I really struggled with the pain after a CS!

I did spontaneous first then induced second. I’ve much preferred the induction. I could plan for it.

You might be interested in this study looking specifically at responses on induction of labour in a large Australian survey:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39395313/
There is bound to be some selection bias but 90%+ says they would resist IOL next time, which seems pretty indicative.

Yes, exactly the same here.

Although I have to say, I was just happy to give birth safely and couldn't care less how my babies were delivered.

I was induced for my last pregnancy . It was actually more painful than the natural labour for my other two pregnancies

wilmaaflintstone I totally agree was happy to have a heathy baby at the end of it after losing 10 previous pregnancy’s I just wanted a healthy end result

I felt like that about my emergency c section - that I was “robbed” of spontaneously going in to labour and actually labouring, but the birth I had got my baby here safely and at the end of the day that’s all that’s important. You’ll get over it xx

Thank you all for your comments, it's reassuring to know others feel the same way I do. As a few of you have said, I'm sure the disappointment will fade with time.

Yes to some extent. Dc1 was induced a few days early due to risk of problems with placenta. I could have refused as nothing had happened, but I didn't want to take the risk.

Induction failed and I ended up with an emcs. Then with dc2 I was advised to have a planned Cs.

I'm grateful to have 2 healthy dc, and I recovered well, so I focus on that. Also aware that a lot of women having a vaginal delivery actually end up with birth injuries and complications, which I luckily avoided.

But there is sometimes a sense of loss that pp have mentioned. When would their birthdays have been naturally? What would natural contractions feel like and would I have managed? Should i have tried with dc2?

I think there's a narrative around women who give birth naturally doing 'amazing', which makes it feel like anything other is somehow 'less than'.

Having said that, dc are now 11 and 9, so this thinking is much less prominent than when they were tiny. With other experience of mothering the importance of the birth itself does diminish.

I've done both, and am about to have a second induction for #3. A big part of the reason I declined for #2 was wanting to experience spontaneous labour, and the 'natural' way of doing things. Not going to lie, it was a massively nicer experience to labour at home, and I feel a little sad I'm not doing that again. But bringing home a healthy baby trumps any disappointment I could have. Whenever I get too deep in my feels, I remind myself labour is one day, motherhood is a lifetime. In the grand scheme of things, there's so many other core moments ahead.

No, not really.

I have three children and all were induced/augmented in one way or another. I think I’ve tried all the methods of coaxing a baby out.

After my youngest was born, I did have fleeting feelings of disappointment that I’d never managed to do childbirth “properly” despite having several chances to get it right. But I also appreciate that it could have been much worse, and that I’m lucky to have had three relatively straightforward deliveries.

Baby is one now and I never really think about the births at all.