Really struggling so close to the end

[YourRareMember]

Please could any commenters be kind as my mental health is pretty poor at the moment.

I'm 36+4, with GD, very large baby (above 97th centile), previous C-section and severe SPD. I'm in pain at all times and struggling to care for my toddler. I was told on Friday that I'm 2cm with a soft cervix, and was admitted overnight for observation (this all started as a CTG picked up contractions). I continued to have painless contractions, and had a bloody show. I was then sent home with no plan going forward, but they know that I want to attempt a VBAC. I've had occasional symptoms on and off since, cramps here and there and another bloody show. But my progress seems to have completely stalled. I am completely exhausted though already, as this combined with my SPD and carrying around a large baby and trying to care for my toddler is increasingly difficult. It's given my mental health a battering and I'm crying all the time. If I'm honest, the last 6 weeks have been a real struggle for me both mentally and physically, and if I'd have known how much pain i would be in, I definitely would have delayed baby number 2 until my toddler was a bit older, which absolutely kills me to say.

I wanted to avoid being induced due to the risks around previous section, however I've read up on it and it seems that breaking my waters would be a safe option due to my body already being in the beginning part of labour. Has anyone had this done early, perhaps at 37 weeks? I'm expecting a call tomorrow from maternity as I don't have a specific midwife and the consultant I saw on Friday was absolutely horrible and insisted that I HAD to go to 40 weeks until they would perform a C-section, if I didn't go into labour naturally before hand. I ended up contacting PALS because he laughed while I sobbed in agony all the way through my appointment. I'm just trying to see what my chances are are having baby earlier.

I should add that my first baby was a planned section, which was a medical recommendation due to me fracturing my coccyx a couple of years earlier and having pain flare ups in pregnancy, combined with the fact that she was predicted to be 98th centile (ended up being 99.5th). I've not had as much pain at the back this pregnancy and baby is slightly smaller, so I did want to try for a VBAC for a quicker recovery.

Firstly, the way you are feeling is completely normal for this stage of pregnancy. The pain from the SPD etc will only exacerbate your feelings. Some people say this is a natural stage of pregnancy/prelabour. Your body encourages you to rest and focus on your own comfort.

A soft cervix that is 2cm dilated is what they usually aim for when they use a balloon, pessary or gel, before they move towards breaking your waters or the hormone drip depending on their policy. So it does seem like you are in a favourable position for induction.

Thanks for replying! Yes I definitely think the SPD is making me feel a lot worse. I did have it with my first but it was mild compared to this, and I had time to rest etc. second time around it's a different ball game.

That's really reassuring to hear, I thought that was the case I'm just not sure if they will agree it at 37 weeks. But I'll be full (early) term and baby was already measuring 7lb 8oz a week ago. Hoping with everything I have in me that they say yes.

I'd say that I understand the risk of baby needing support from NICU/paeds at birth is increased due to their early term gestation, and I have limited options to augment my labour due to my previous c/s, but baby is well grown and I wish to take those risks rather than withstand the pain I am experiencing for weeks longer.

I’m so sorry about your experience. SPD can be awful and it’s rarely taken seriously. My experience is that once you’ve been to maternity triage a few times they often will start the induction but I think this is one of those areas where different hospitals have different policies, so worth asking others who have used the same hospital as you if they know the process.

Thank you for the reply. That's my experience exactly too, there has been no consideration about my SPD at all. It's not even mentioned in my notes as something to be factored in, despite me bringing it up at every appointment and being under physio (who have done pretty much nothing for me). I don't really have any reason to go to triage at this point as I can no longer feel contractions and movements are fine. I was under the impression I shouldn't be left in indefinite limbo with my current risk factors, but maybe I'm wrong and they just do leave people planning VBAC in early labour indefinitely.