Not read all messages and don't have much time...
had an emCS first time
had a spinal, epi and forceps second time as I was unwitting recipient of time limit on my VBAC
if there's a next I'm staying at home so they can't cut me again,
not happy with instrumental birth almost as much as CS, had not really looked into it before my VBAC so had not thought about options if it came to it. Hindsight means that I'd have a hellavu lot to say about it next time.
But that's maybe more because I'm a VBACer through and through. You cut me in half and there's VBACtivist running through me. And the not feeling my VBAC and having my flesh cut a second time was just as disappointing
I won't understand anyone planning an elCS without very good medical reasons but I'd support you to the death if that's your informed decision, cos it is your decision and making your own informed decision goes a long way to preserving mental health, which is also incredibly important to me.
So I reckon that if you chose to go to CS rather than have instrumental delivery that's your prerogative. In fact, I'd expect that your cons should take your concerns seriously and discuss all options so that you can make your informed choice. After all just as they have to get your permission to do a CS, they also have to get your permission to cut you and do instrumental delivery.
It's your baby, your body and your birth. End of.