If I have a hospital birth, instead of another HB, would I get a nice break and my own room?

[bohemianbint]

I'm probably being really naive here but I've never had a hospital birth or even been on a ward, so I know nothing.

I had a fab HB with DS1, my own shower, my own bed, Corrie and a pizza hours afterwards, marvellous.

On the downside, as it was so easy I felt I was expected to just crack on like nothing had happened, waddle up and downstairs and sat there for 6 hours without a break or food when relatives turned up batch after batch. I felt dazed and DP was positively pushed out.

I don't want that this time. But I also don't want any unwanted intervention, I just want to do it my way like I did last time.

What do you think? Hospital for a rest, or HB with much stricter rules for family?

HB with much, much stricter rules (no visits for 7-10 days?), deffo.
Hositals are often dirty/busy/too hot etc etc (from what I hear, had two home births).
Didnt like the sound of cleaning the hospital bathroom before using it (or even sharing a bathroom come to think of it) or MRSA etc....

Defo a hb.

Speak to close family and friends before the birth and say that you aren't going to have any visitors for x hours after the birth. Or, they can come round but have a time slot of x minutes, and they have to make their own drinks.

I would go for much stricter rules re: family. Lock the doors and pull the curtains for a week

Honestly, a post-natal ward is not a restful place to be, even if you manage to get your own room. There will be comings-and-goings and noise all night. (Not to mention the possibility of dirty showers and cack food.)

I won't even start on the likelihood of being able to 'do it my way like I did last time' - you can't recreate a homebirth in a hospital environment.

In your position, I would stay home, no question!

speak to the hospital, it's possible you can pay extra to have a private room post-partum should you need to stay in, but MOST hospitals have a policy of parking you on the ward with many other mums (and their noisy offspring and visitors) and trying to boot you out the door as quick as possible.

So lining up friends to take your current child(ren) and strict rules about not bothering you for a few days at home would be better, if you have a DP who can ensure that it all really happens (mine is hopeless).

Can't imagine how you'd get a rest! The antenatal ward I was on was so noisy, didn't get any sleep at all. And then there's the visiting hours and appalling food and dirty loos etc. I'm def going for a hb next time. We tried to get a private room with DD but they were all taken, don't think NHS hospitals have many.

I know the idea of much stricter rules re family after a home birth sounds quire easy but putting it into practise may be very difficult. I have a large family and saying dont come for a week after baby is born would go down like a lead baloon to my lot.

Definately without a doubt hb and be very strict with family.

From experience if you have a hospital birth and all is normal because its not your first you could well be expected to go home 6 hours after the birth if everything is normal and its a busy hospital, you are more likely to be on a ward with other mums and babies than in a side room they tend to be reserved for mums with babies on scbu, antenatal women or women who are infectious its not restful at all. My experiences are of a busy city hospital though.

If you are going to deliver in a small cottage hospital it will be different but if its a bigger hospital hospital honestly I would opt for a homebirth

good luck with what ever you decide

Avoid big hospitals like the plague. They're dirty, understaffed, noisy places! When a preganancy is straightforward, there's no need to treat it like a medical event - it's natural!! Do you have a local midwife unit?
I had my first dc in a small midwife unit which was fab - own room, tv etc. There were only about 6 rooms altogether and one delivery room (so try not to go into labour at the same time as anyone else!). They also kept doctors at arms length - I had one midwife with me from start to finish (she stayed on duty specially to deliver dd) and then I could soak in the bath for hours afterwards. Bliss!

hosp will not be restful
every 30 mins someone will be round to talk to you, ask something, poke at your or the baby etc etc
if you are happy to be at home, stay home

Had a private room through sheer luck when I had DD. Didn't get any bloody peace there either! Auxiliarys, midwives, doctors, cleaners etc banging in and out all day (and night) long. Then there were the staff chatting in the hall outside my room, I could still hear most of the noise out in the wards, it was bloody awful. Stay at home and put your foot down about visitors. Far nicer!

HB, but get DH to announce the birth but say/ text: We are BOTH SHATTERED and need to get some sleep. Please don't visit until tomorrow/ day after tomorrow. Mrs Bohemianbint might stay in bed whilst you come, but I can bring the baby down to see you for a short time.

I think a day or two will be acceptable to family and long enough for you to feel like you're not being invaded.

This time round you might like your mum/ other CLOSE family round to help with your older child.

I didn't have a problem with visitors after my HB - just that I felt I should be "up and about" tidying the kitchen and what have you and sitting in bed twitching at the thought of the chaos going on downstairs. This time I won't make the same mistake!

I planned to stay in for a few days after ds4 was born "just to get a break" but the unbareable heat in the place changed my mind when he was just a few hours old.

It wasn't so much the noise and constant steam of people etc but the heat in there...Honestly it was stiffling. I kno wit has to be warm for the babies but it was ridiculous so I came home.

Oh and the bed seemed to be made from concrete.

In the hospital where I had DD and DS, all the post-natal rooms AFAIK are private with en-suite, however, I think this is quite unusual. I also think they manage to do this because they assume a fast turn around - Its fairly normal for straightforward second births to be sent home the same day.

Advantages:

Free tea and coffee and rice cripsies, although you are expected to get up and make your own breakfast.

Somebody else washes your sheets.

Disadvantages:

Very narrow bed - DD wanted to feed constantly after she was born and I would have been much better off in a double bed rather than trying to squeeze her onto the hospital bed.

About the only food that is edible is the above mentioned rice crispies.

You have to pay for phone and TV.

In all honesty I wouldn't say that the bits of the hospital I saw were visibly dirtier than my house, but my house is less likely to be harbouring super bugs.

I think that if I were you I would stay at home.

home birth again with much stricter rules

here is a good tip, i learnt here.. do not get dressed ! if you are in jamas or a nightie, you are treated more like a 'patient', and people don;t expect you to do anything!

labour rooms vary, i had my own room, but a shared bathroom, which was ok as no-one else there, but i doula-ed a lady in the same room, and there was someone in the next room, who kept using the bathroom and keeping it locked on our side, so had to keep asking MW to check with the next room if we could use the loo !! !!

PN ward lovely, had own room and loo, MWs lovely, but an alarm going off for hours, as the tag system faulty, so after a night labouring, it was irritating to say the least

unless you go to MLU, and even then it is not a guarantee, you will not get the same leeway to just get on with it, that you do at home

i think that you have had one great HB, it is not the birth that is the issue, but the post natal period. that is easily fixed !

homebirth , and then get a bouncer !

Another one for HB, at least at home you won't have to clean the shower before using it! Not to mention it is very hard to sleep in hospital, it was so noisy ALL the time!

Homebirth, (obviously). Now you have the excuse that your DC1 needs time alone with the 4 of you to get used to the new dynamics in your family so everyone else must wait for dc1 to be ready. This obviously could take many weeks if necessary.........

When I had ds in hospital it was very quiet, i had my own room and bathroom which was spotless and very attentive mws. By day four it was bedlam so couldn't wait to get out. Also dh was kicked out every night which was very difficult for him. If you had a hb last time I would vote for one again.

HB with much, much stricter rules. Set visiting hours, and make them just like the hospital would - set times in the day, set rest periods for you, only two visitors at a time.

I had a room of my own in hospital, but only because I had a section - everyone else shared wards with three other women.
Even in a room of my own there was noise all the time; the staff had radios blaring, everything was bustling and noisy day and night. There's no privacy - they wouldn't allow me to close my door apart from overnight, staff wandered in unannounced, my baby was unnecessarily poked, prodded and generally interfered with. I couldn't wait to get out of the place!

I've had two hospital births. I was on a ward after one, and in my own room after the other (DS2 was in NICU). I didn't have my own bathroom either time. Rooms too hot, food terrible, showers and toilets dirty, MW's coming in at all hours, no privacy, no access to painkillers (I did take my own second time around).....

I would definitely opt for a home birth given the option. I've planned one both times, but things didn't go to plan for either birth.

Your post made me laugh (in a nice way) as I am very pro hospitals for the actual birth but definitely NOT for the post natal bit.
With regard having a bit of peace and quiet...in my experience it is noise, chaos, interruptions, quite dirty and bright lights. During my last stay as I was the only one in the room breast feeding and had really sore nipples as baby was sucking 24/7. However the other women in the ward would turn on the lights full beam or even their TVs at all hours of the night and day so that if I ever did manage a few minutes sleep I would be woken up straightaway. There was no management on the ward whatsoever...bring back matron!
On the plus side, you do get to act and feel like a patient, someone to wash sheets, bring (rather nasty) food, painkillers etc.
But if are not worried about the actual birth, then I would stay at home.
BTW private rooms in my hospital cost over £200 per night!

Jusr for a balanced view on hospital:

I was very happy with my stay, Food was great, bed moved up and down (though, yes, a bigger bed would have been nice). I knew when visiters were allowed and when I could sleep. I had looooadss of help with dd especially with breastfeeding.

Enjoyed the company of other women and babies. We has some terrific laughs and shared stuff.

Bit crap for dh toing and froing but he got good sleep and felt more refreshed when I came home [was in a week with nasty c - section]. I mega missed him at night though

Of course I missed home but the whole coming home thing was really special.

But don't think it would be better than home - I was high risk - but not dreadful in my experience.

Also ward was spotless and home like a pigsty....

I have had one of both (hospital and homebirth) and would say go for homebirth all the way. Hospitals are in no way restful. Would echo what everyone else has said they are nosy 24/7 there would always be at least one baby crying, I was in a room with 3 other women then in a private room and although the private room was better it still wasn't that great. Toilets were dirty with other womens blood, food horrible, the palce was far too hot it was really not a good experience.

After my homebirth I said no visitors for 2 days wish I had said longer though, in hindsight even though I was like you fine and up and at em really quickly I wish I had stayed in my jammies for a few days and locked the doors.

In my native Holland, where home births are rife, birth announcements are sent out with visiting hours or rest times included. And people will stick to it, so it can be done!

I appreciate that your family will not be pleased if they cannot have unfettered access to you and new bub, but tough, you and bub first.

Are you sure DH doe snot just need a reminder of how shattered he was last time?

So it's unanimous?

Thanks, everyone. I really didn't fancy a hospital do and after having read all of your posts I want one even less!

Well, looks like DP will have to strap on a pair and take on the families. I reckon if we start laying down the law now that's about 7 months for it to sink in.

Thanks for all the input ladies!