This is my first thread so unsure if it’s the right place and sorry it’s so long winded.
I unfortunately had to ask the father of my children (one is 3, one due in April) due to ongoing drug usage (prescribed and none prescribed medication abuse) In November.
He left and moved back his parents miles away from where we live. November - January he was trying to have constant contact with myself and my child stating he is sorry and wants to be present in all our lives and will move back up here. I was cold to the idea as I was extremely hurt he would put us in a position of social services becoming involved due to being reported for drug induced behaviours. I also reacted to some abusive things he said with reactive abuse. I did say some vile things. Have since apologised for though.
In January I became aware he is seeing somebody else, 10 years younger, and has since withdrawn contact from our first born. Speaking to her on facetime maybe once a week, at a specified time that’s suitable to him.
He recently attended a scan (i paid for his return ticket as he isn’t financially stable) he looked poorly, physically and opened up to me about his emotional turmoil. Our time together felt like we were back together, hand holding, kissing, reminiscing about the past. He stated he no longer speaks to the other girl and some other derogatory remarks. He admitted she wasn’t aware we had a child on the way and only about our first born.
When he left, i stupidly checked social media to see he had instantly gone back to the girl. Emotions got the better of me and i messaged her stating how he had been with me and how it is unfair on us both. She replied stating she knew he had come to see his child and doesn’t want to be drawn any further into our past relationship. I statee he came to see the unborn child, and he had said some some not very nice things and I feel i need to stop contact again due to him playing with my emotions. She stated we have to put our personal differences aside for the child. Not children. Almost as though she isn’t acknowledging me stating one is due.
She then uploads a photo of them both swearing into a camera. Little dig at me? maybe i’m thinking too much into it.
Even though he hasn’t been consistently present in my first borne life she adores him, always talks about her Daddy. How much he loves her and will ask to ring Daddy several times a day. Over the past week since he attended the scan I have tried to engage him in conversion regarding visiting her, and speaking to her on the phone and I have been told it’s not convenient or he will discuss it with me later. Never happening.
What i’ve come to ask, after a small explanation of recent events, is should i have him present at the babies birth due in April? I know he will be physically supportive but am i setting myself up for a fall? If he does make the birth (he is miles away and not financially stable) i have to remind myself he is with somebody else and will leave me alone with both children shortly after birth.
I still have extremely strong feelings for him despite everything. I would love for us to be a family again. He knows this too.
Does anybody have experience in having their ex partner at the birth of their child knowing they will leave shortly after?
Sorry for the rant, i’ve tried to make it as quick as possible