Positive second births after difficult first birth?

[Basil2021]

Hi everyone, am midway through second pregnancy and feeling very anxious about giving birth. Am trying to be positive. Baby was over two weeks late in the end, long induction ending in forceps.
Does anyone have any easier stories after a similar first experience?
If first baby was very late is second likely to be too?
Any advice? I'd really like to do it without an epidural this time so any advice much appreciated.

It has been suggested I have an elective c-section but I'd rather just have a straightforward 'normal' birth, but I know there's no way of knowing that.

Following because I’m in a similar position! 21 weeks and trying not to think about it tbh

After a bad forceps delivery my birth plan for number 2 involved an obstetrician and a sharp scalpel, best decision I ever made!

My 1st was induced at 12 days over and ended up with forceps in theatre as a last try before a section.

2nd arrived 10 days overdue, 40 mins after we arrived at the hospital. 5 puffs of gas and air, 2 pushes and she was out. I just remember repeating over and over, was that it? Is that it all done, was that it? Wow!

3rd was really rather brutal but you're asking about 2nds so, yes 2nd was amazing compared to the 1st!

1st baby was induced at ten days over. Went in on the Fruday morning he finally arrived early hours Monday morning. Very nearly ended in a section as he was stuck and I was at that point delirious through lack of sleep and had no energy to push

Baby 2 was 3 days late, she felt very low for the week before I gave birth. Woke up on the morning she was born with bad backache which got worse through the day. Contractions started at about 2pm, got to hospital at about 6. 30pm and she was born at 8pm. Was painful won't lie but as far as births go it was a good un.

3rd baby 6 days late. Horrible traumatic experience but 100% down to just the lack of care from the midwife on duty that evening refusing to believe I was in labour and not allowing me to go to delivery suite and just being locked out of the ward in a pitch black corridor
Finally. Number 4 11 days over but pretty nice birth but not quick really

Pfb was a 17 hour labour. Pethedine for the pain and had to be roused to push. Got a mystery rash and had to stay isolated for a week pp..
Second dc went from fast asleep in bed at10pm to waking as waters broke at midnight, to holding ds at 2.55 am.. Gas and air and minimal pain.

Similar to others- first baby was an induction that took 19 hours on the drip and eventually ended with forceps delivery, second baby was 5 days overdue- went into labour naturally and barely made it to the hospital and had only a couple of puffs of gas and air before he was delivered ( weighing 10lb2!) so completely opposite experiences! still needed a small episiotomy before my second was delivered to avoid tearing but it was a really straightforward, quick delivery!

Good luck, I'm sure you will have a much better experience this time round!

First DD was 24 hours of "early labour" (even though i was 10 days over, I apparently went into early labour due to a UTI) with contractions 5 mins apart. Then induction, epidural and Vacuum to get DD out (forget the official name)

Second DD was 3 days over, natural labour, gas and air and quick delivery.

I think sometimes, if you have a second baby, your body has figured out what to do a bit better!

Yep, first came early on his own. Awful labour, birth and recovery.

Second - was induced just before term. Labour, birth and recovery much easier even though baby was almost 11 pounds.

First baby 28 hours active labour, but start to finish was 48 hours. Forceps and ventouse (I still can’t spell it) in theatre.

DC2 11 minutes active labour, officially. In reality I think it was about an hour. Luckily I was in hospital as waters had broken and were green. I literally only had an hour with any pain at all. Did very little damage to me too.

I always advise people with a second labour to get to the hospital pronto!

Good luck!

Ps midwife told me that second births are usually the easiest, no matter how many more children you go on to have

1st labour was 36 hours of hell, made to remain on my back on the bed, dragged out by epidural after I was asked to push for an hour only to be told later I wasnt actually fully dilated and ended up with forceps and episiotomy.

2nd one I remained mobile, refused the bed unless it was to check the baby, used the birthing ball, opted a water birth on gas and air. Perfect 4 hours labour, loved it. Baby was bigger too. Most painful bit was actually the anaesthetics for the stitches!

Thank you everyone! Yes @HappyDaysToCome I remember one of the numerous midwives I went through the first time told me that in her experience second labours were the best. She said third labours could be a real nightmare funnily enough!

Yes @Doggywoof I was made to be on my back the whole time for monitoring. I like that you just refused to get on it except for a check. I think I'll do the same, that's a good approach.

me!!!

DS1 was induced, labour progressed quickly but had to wait for epidural for 4 more hours than I should have (anaesthesiologist just couldn't come because of emergencies) and so I thought I was gonna die from pain.
when there was whispers of EMCS I fucking lost the plot.
ended up with foreceps delivery, lost a lot of blood, massive episiotomy took over 8m to heal.

I didn't realise how traumatic it all was until DS2 was born!
he was very late, born exactly 42w.
had to wait for over 48hrs to be induced, labour was progressing well but this time the epidural got fucked up and had to be re-sited 3 times and even then it only provided pain relief on one side 🙄.

Never mind, at least I could feel where to push, so I had so much control. that was brilliant.
As he was crowning they told me to feel his head so I did which was crazy exciting!
He was delivered straight onto my chest, I cut the cord, few stitches, all done.
He was a dream to breastfeed too.

His birth healed me from the previous one.
He's 18 next week and 6'7".
So trange to think of him as a newborn!🤣

First baby ten days late, horrible labour and traumatic birth. Second baby eight days early and a very quick and easy planned home birth. Good luck OP. Do what's right for you.

@Basil2021

Thank you everyone! Yes *@HappyDaysToCome* I remember one of the numerous midwives I went through the first time told me that in her experience second labours were the best. She said third labours could be a real nightmare funnily enough!

Ha ha yes that was the point I decided my family was definitely complete!

Wishing you a sneeze birth OP.

My first was forceps at 39
Weeks. Second was normal delivery, 37 weeks and was done and dusted in three hours! Was amazing. I did tear though and need stitches.

First was 15 days over, induced, episiotomy, suction cup on his head to pull him out, in labour for 27 hours.

Second was 10 days over, induced, episiotomy, came out without any help, in labour for 11 hours.

First time I was so weak after that the nurse sat me on a chair in the shower, washed me and dressed me. Second I had a shower and dressed totally by myself.

Second time was so much easier than first and yours probably will be too whatever you choose. Good luck OP.

First was a horrific back to back labour, ending in 5 hours pushing and forceps

Second was a lovely ELCS

I would NEVER do the VB again given the choice after the long term injuries and memories of the first one

@Basil2021

Thank you everyone! Yes *@HappyDaysToCome* I remember one of the numerous midwives I went through the first time told me that in her experience second labours were the best. She said third labours could be a real nightmare funnily enough!

@Basil2021

There's some truth to that, DS3 was the fastest labour & birth, no doub.
The first proper contraction woke me up at 5am, he was born 95 mins later with only 3 pushes. 9lb 6oz

But the easiest 2nd stage was with my DD, child #6.
I was in full control, absolutely brilliant guidance from midwives, no stitches so zero pain postnatally.
out 7 kids (the others all boys) she was my smallest, her 8lb 3 oz weight gave it enough opmh to push well, but smaller head circumference definitely helped with no tearing

I guess there isn't enough data to cover 7 kids though so they will say 3rd is easiest 🤣

DC1 was waters breaking, nothing happened, induction 48 hours later, long painful labour, epidural, all stopped, DC1 getting distressed, ended up with c-section. DC2 was a little late, went into labour naturally, determined to prove wrong my DH who was sure I'd end up with another c-section, gas and air only (partly as I felt that if I went down the epidural route I'd end up with another c-section, but also just felt more in control), did need ventouse to get DC2 out in the end, but was so much better experience - bonded straight away with DC2 unlike DC1, was able to do all the things you can't do when you've had a c-section.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba I know exactly what you mean! With DC1 epidural I was completely numb, I only pushed when they asked me to, not in control at all.

With DC2 gas and air, I could feel the head bobbing with each contraction, progressively making its way out, it was surreal. My body was in total control, I think that's what made me love the experience so much. Hope you have a great delivery, OP!

Congratulations on your pregnancy ☺️

My first was a long, exhausting, induced labour, ending in forceps. It contributed towards my PND for sure.

But the second...couldn't have been more different! It was so positive, so chilled out, quite quick (3 hrs or so from first contraction), almost enjoyable. I didn't have time for pain relief aside from gas and air, but honestly it was brilliant and I still feel really proud of myself, many many months on 😂 I wasn't induced, I went into labour naturally when I was a week overdue I think. I ate my body weight in dates for a couple of weeks, who knows if that helps 😂

I had similar worries and my midwife said that 2nd labours are often quite easy.

Each pregnancy and each childbirth is completely different, there's no reason to think that this next birth won't be a positive experience for you.

Dr Sarah Wickham on Instagram is great for evidence based info and discussions about labour/maternity care.

I would look again at a an elective c section.

29 mins and up an about in no time. The best decision I ever made. I know it’s not the same for everyone but an elective is different from an emergency c section. And very very much easier than a hard ‘natural’ Labour,

DC1 was a failed induction (100+ hours) ending in an EMCS. DC2 was a wonderful ELCS. The feeling of control with that ELCS made such a difference. That and being in and out in 24 hours.

First labour - 16 hours, very painful, back to back, coached pushing for two hours before ventouse delivery with spinal block, brow presentation, traumatic repair of episiotomy.

Second labour - 60 minutes, at home, unassisted. Slight tear, no stitches needed. 1 very instinctive push. No drugs or intervention. The most wonderful experience of my life.

Third labour - 7 hours. Back to back.Uncomfortable but not painful. 2 pushes, no tearing.