I am a FTM and had my baby boy 4 weeks ago and birth was not exactly as I imagined it.
I started getting contractions on a wednesday night. Previous to this i was worried I wouldn't know if I was contracting as I had regular pain and people always said 'oh you'll know when it happens' which annoyed me. It turns out they were right. My contractions were unlike any other pain I'd felt during pregnancy and literally took my breath away. I couldn't concentrate, couldnt sleep through them, felt the need to curl up and clench my fists tightly, paracetamol did nothing and they were regular every 5 minutes.
I went into hospital the next day (thursday) and wasnt quite in established labour (4 cm dilated) but was so close (3cm dilated with a very thin cervix) they admitted me anyway. I went into established labour a few hours later and was then in labour for another 15 hours approx. I took all the pain relief offered (except epidural) as the pain of the contractions was immense.
Pushing felt like having a very big poo and the relief when the baby comes out was amazing as all the pain immediately subsided except a small burning sensation down below.
I only got skin to skin for 10 minutes unfortunately as I was told I have a 4th degree tear and needed immediate surgery.
If I am completely honest, I didnt bond immediately or have love at first sight with my son. I was very sleep deprived and completely overwhelmed and exhausted with the whole experiance. The midwifes were amazing though and helped me immensely with how to care for my son. I feel in love with my son after a week or two when I started to feel myself again physically and emotionally.
Everyone always tells you that you get an immediate wave of love when you first see or hold your child but the truth is sometimes you dont and it takes a while to develop. This is normal though and does not make you strange or a bad person.
Pregnancy and labour are so individual and you may well have an experiance that is the complete polar opposite to mine. My friend had a labour lasting only 1 hr with her first and felt hardly any pain and no complications.