c section

[SanetJvv]

My friend is 26 weeks pregnant. Working as a theatre nurse, she has seen too many 3rd degree tears. Vantous and forceps that went bad. Traumatised women etc. She is so frightened to have a normal delivery, she is an anxious person and she really wants a c section. She is also very short and petite and her mother couldnt have nvd. Any advise I can give her.

Tell her to relax. Being tense will make things a lot worse. She doesn't have grounds for an elective c-section,imo, and believe me you don't want to go down that road voluntarily. It is a major operation!

she needs to boost her confidence about birth, and remind herself that it can go really well !

just because her mum had trouble giving birth, doens;t mean she will

women who are petite, tend to grow babies of a size they can birth

and as a theatre nurse, she is seeing the worst case scenarios

she can take steps now to relax and to prepare herself mentally for birth

a c.s is not an easy option, it is major abdominal surgery, and as a nurse, she should know the implications

there are plenty of positive birth stories around, and it would be good for her to read some

eg

Ina May Gaskin has written 2 wonderful books about natural , physiological birth

If she really wants a c-section she can probably get one, particularly as she works in theatres and has presumably also seen c-sections to compare with the complcations of problematic vaginal deliveries.

She would probably be best to discuss her fears with clinc staff (medical staff rather than midwifery staff) at her next hospital/scan appointment.

If they are smpathetic in the first instance and book her for a c-section she may actually be able to relax and enjoy the rest of her pregnancy withouot worrying about the possible outcome of any delivery complications. She may even relax enough be able to get her head round the possibility of trying a vaginal delivery.

Thank you fedupwasherwoman, I agree, she knows one of the consultants very well and I think this consultant will probably book an cs for her. I feel sorry for her because everybody is telling her to have a nvd and its the best for her etc etc, and she told me she is feeling stupid and silly, but she cant overcome her fears. Im for nvd, but I dont think its the best route for her because she is a very anxious person. She is also scared nvd will affect her sex life afterwards. She is very scared of tearing episiotomys, you name it. She told me shes not scared of pain, its the damage the nvd can cause that frightens her. She told me she was in a labour room the other day, and the midwife had to use a ventouse, but she did not knw how to use it properly. She saw a forceps delivery, the baby had injuries all over his face and was crying and was very blue, mother had a big episiotomy. I personally cant believe that her manager allows her to work in areas like this.

I felt very similarly to friend as I've also seen a lot of deliveries and worried about 3rd and 4th degree tears etc. I realised that I saw a very skewed picture of childbirth but I was still convinced that I wanted a c-section and asked for one electively. I ended up with an em-section with complications but overall it was the right choice for me.