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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

i want a c section how do i get one

90 replies

hayley2u · 25/07/2007 16:42

i am 32 weeks. and absolutly terrified about giving birth.i already have one son who gave birth naturally too. it was horible experience and was so torn a nd sore but they never gave me stiches when i was told later i should have had at least 5. i'm so scared and would love a c section just having nightmares about it. does anyone have any advice as think doctor will just laugh at me

OP posts:

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witchandchips · 25/07/2007 16:50

what's your midwife like?. Talk to her/him about it. My understanding is that if they are convinced that giving birth "naturally" will cause you undue mental stress and increase the likelihood of PND etc then they will give you the go ahead for a c-section.

taxidriver · 25/07/2007 16:53

recover time is probably faste with natural birth i think
it is natral to be worried though

meemar · 25/07/2007 17:00

Hi Hayley - I don't know what the official stance is on this, but all you can do is find out.

But do be aware that a c-section can cause it's own problems too. You will have a longer recovery from the birth and can leave you feeling just as sore, only in different places. You will be recovering from major abdominal surgery with a small baby to look after.

I had a difficult vaginal birth with DS1, ventouse after 2 hours of pushing (stitches were so bad I couldn't sit down for 2 weeks).

When I was pg the second time I really wanted to have a good birth experience but ended up with an emergency section. Despite the difficulties of DS1's birth I would never have chosen the section as it really was harder to recover from.

Good luck with whatever you decide x

Original poster

hayley2u · 25/07/2007 17:03

i really want one but dont know what to tell mt doctor

OP posts:

meemar · 25/07/2007 17:11

The doctor will not laugh at you - I imagine that it is really common for women who have had a bad birth experience to be very frightened of going through it again.

I suppose all you can do is talk it through with them - if they feel you have a valid enough reason for requesting a section they may consider it.

You need to take the first step and talk to someone though. Even if they refuse the section, they can give you all sorts of other help and advice to get you through a vaginal birth.

fedupwasherwoman · 25/07/2007 17:18

when is our next hospital scan appointment ?

I did not "ask" my GP or midwife I simply asked to talk to a doctor about having a c-section when I was at the hospital for a scan appointment in later pregnancy.

I explained my fears/predicament (I got a bit worked up and was in tears) and demonstrated that I had read up on the possible complications etc and they booked me in for a c-section.

How old is your son ? You will not be able to lift him for about 6 weeks and possibly more after a c-section. I had to plan ahead with my second and train ds1 to get in and out of the bath himself and in and out of his car seat etc. If you plan for all of this and let slip that you have planned for and can manage the recovery period it will support your case in arguing for a c-section.

Good Luck

Highlander · 25/07/2007 17:19

What was it about your first birth experience that is pushing you toward the CS?

Was it tearing and subsequent healing probs? Did it leave you incontinent?

Was it the pain of the tear healing?

Or was it just labour in general (tear or no tear) that has left you terrified?

No consultant will push you through another birth where there is further risk of tearing.

The pain of tearing - well a CS scar takes a couple of weeks and can be pretty painful too.

Fear of labour - they may try and fob you off on that one and make promises of an experienced midwife - but I'd ask for a written guarantee. Home birth?

I've had 2 CSs (both elective) and it was definitely my preferred birth choice, but it ain't for everyone!

Good Luck

Highlander · 25/07/2007 17:22

Um, the whole lifting/drving thing is very personal. Some women can take 6 weeks (longer) before they feel comfortable lifting. I was hauling DS1 around at 7 days and driving at 2 weeks. I also carried DS2 in his car seat from hospital after 48 hours DH was 'sorting out' DS1. He also told me that the car was 'just outside' the maternity unit. Mm, 200m away!!

Original poster

hayley2u · 25/07/2007 17:31

i was terrified mostly at time was only 20 years old. my son is now 5 years old plus got loads of help. i found the labour absolutly daunting plus mid wives just were not lstening to me. the tears also put me right of as the agony afterward caused agony. i actually ashamed to say stopped drinking as i was so terrified of passing urine. i am left incontinent which is also hard.i did not heal for well over 3 months and walking was unbearable. who should i ask first. my mw is a cow. but i have a scan on wednesday as i have been having bleeding on off.

OP posts:

squiffy · 25/07/2007 17:38

I'm not going to judge you on the rights and wrongs.... but if you are convinced.... I had to have a C-S for my second child because with my first I had pelvic floor damage that left me doubly incontinent (I had to have electrode therapy and physio where the sun don't shine). Took about 6 months to fully recover but fortunately it doesn't leave any physical evidence once you have recovered...If the people looking after you this time round have no idea how your first PG went, who are they to know that you didn't suffer from the same.....if you get my drift...

squiffy · 25/07/2007 17:40

Oh, cross posts, H2u.

meemar · 25/07/2007 17:40

Hayley sounds like you had an awful experience and I would be surprised if they didn't take that into account.

It also makes me really angry when I hear how midwives don't listen to young women giving birth - I've seen it mentioned many times on MN.

I think you need to speak to your MW, if she doesn't listen then try to make an appointment with the hospital. The sonographer at your scan won't be of much help, I don't think.

I hope you get what you want x

fedupwasherwoman · 25/07/2007 17:41

Highlander , I was driving after 3 weeks with both of my c-sections but lifting did feel a bit odd/wrong for at least a month (naughty girl for trying in the first place, I know )so I'm just quoting the standard recovery time expectations.

If the OP goes to see a doctor and says "Oh I hear I'll be able to drive after about 3 weeks" they may take her request less seriously as they'll assume she doesn't accept the possible downside of a c-section

Original poster

hayley2u · 25/07/2007 17:41

yer. i amjust so scared silly i know but swore after last time i would not have another due to the pain. i v not spoken to anyone about it before. do you think it maybe too late i am 32 +4 weeks. feel qiute stupid but i just aint up for it

OP posts:

fedupwasherwoman · 25/07/2007 17:42

when you are at the scan clinic are there not doctors also around ?

fedupwasherwoman · 25/07/2007 17:44

not too late at all, do you have another scan appointment coming up ?

ask to see a gynae/obs doctor at the hospital, you should be nominally allocated to one of them already, it's just a matter of finding out who it is and requesting to see them.

SanetJvv · 25/07/2007 17:46

the reason why you arent suppose to lift and drive after surgery is because of the risk of getting a hernia.

Original poster

hayley2u · 25/07/2007 17:55

do you think i could goto my doctors and ask him tommorrow, that he may help me pursuade my case

OP posts:

Original poster

hayley2u · 25/07/2007 17:55

FEDUPWASHERWOMAN i have a scan booked for next wednesday

OP posts:

Bouquetsofdynomite · 25/07/2007 18:13

Make sure you cry in front of every health professional you see, stop being British and stiff-upper-lip. Let it all out, the squeaky wheel gets the grease (true on the labour ward too, non?).

alicet · 25/07/2007 19:49

Hayley - Ask your midwife to refer you to a hospital consultant to discuss your past experiences. If you tore so badly you have been left incontinent you may well be advised to have a section anyway. I have a friend who had a third degree tear with her first and she has been advised to have a section this time. Our hospital also has something called the birth reflections service that you can contact any time after a previous delivery to go through your notes and discuss what happened. I would look into whether your hospital if they provide a similar service - if you have a chance to go through iut and discuss what happened and therefore deal with what happened in your own head that might help you cope with another vaginal delivery. Just say this as it sounds like you haven't really dealt with what happened and this might really help you - not suggesting you should have a vaginal delivery if that really isn't what you want.

I had an emergancy section with my first and am now expecting my second and trying to decide what to do. For sure a c-section is major abdominal surgery with its own risks but I have to say I had a very straightforward recovery - certainly easier and better than that of my friend with the 3rd degree tear. And apparently a planned section carries fewer risks and is quicker to recover from than an emergency one.

Agree with those though who have said that the best way of getting your views taken seriously is to demonstrate you have done your research and know the risks associated with a section. Websites I found helpful are NICE guidelines and Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists - sorry don't have the links but if you put these into google and then search under caesarean section you should get some good info.

Good luck - both with dealing with your issues surrounding your ds's birth and also getting the experience you want this time round whatever that ends up being

alicet · 25/07/2007 19:54

Having just read the rest of the thread in more detail rather than skimming it....

Driving earlier than 6 weeks is definately possible - my mate who had an elective section was driving at 3 weeks but you must discuss it with your insurance company first as otherwise you might not be insured. Plus you need to be comfortable enough that you are confident you would do an emergency stop if necessary without hesitation - for me this was actually about 7-8 weeks but where I live driving isn't a big issue anyway.

Have to say though that lifting anything heavier than their lo before 6 weeks should really not be done. The risks of developing a hernia through the wound are very high before this time and trust me you don't want this if you can avoid it. Usually involves a second more major operation to fix and can lead to serious problems. There will always be people who have managed this without problems like there are people who smoke 50 a day all their lives until 90 but unless you have absolutely no choice please please don't risk it!

lulumama · 25/07/2007 19:55

it is really important that you debrief on your previous bad birth, either through Birth Trauma Association or Birth crisis....hopefully before the baby arrives..

also, you can request a c/s for the reasons you have stated

if you are still suffering incontinence, then you should be referred to someone for help with that

bleeding can also make you high risk and that in itself should warrant a referral to a consultant

Original poster

hayley2u · 25/07/2007 20:10

does it. iv had about 5/6 eppisodes of heavy bleading so far which is worrying but they still have not found the cause. right i will walk up on wednesday and demand something be done as my dates are also wrong and as i thought which i a 3 weeks behind what i should be

OP posts:

pobletsmum · 25/07/2007 20:31

Hayley - I had a traumatic 1st birth experience but am very fortunate to have a very supportive midwife now I'm pregnant again, so this advice is based on what she's told me.

Whoever you decide to talk to (GP or ask for Dr at scan appt), you will need to be very persuasive. Read all the info you can, including the NICE guidelines (search internet), and make sure that they know you've done your research, including about recovery & risks etc. Explain your fears, and tell them (if true) how you've delayed this pregnancy because you are terrified about the birth, and how you didn't want to have more children for a long time because of it. You will probably have good reasons for a c-section in terms of the tear you suffered and the effetcs it has left you with. I hope someone has referred you for advice/treatment for incontinence. It can be helped in most cases.

I hope this helps.

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