Very scared about possible c section

[pixie04]

I am curently trying for a baby. I have been told by a few people that because of my size (I am quiet petite) that I am likley to need a c section.

I want a natural home both so you can imagine the thought of needing a c section scares me a lot.

I am very anious that I won't bond with the baby or be able to breastfeed. Also I am scared that the baby will be taken from me after birth and that well wishing relatives will take over in the weeks after the birth because I won't be mobile enough to look after the baby myself.

Anybody any advice or reasurance? I feel that I need to be prepared for the possibility of a c section so my anxieties don't ruin my experience.

I had a c-section & had no problems with bonding or breastfeeding. In fact, because I had to stay in hospital for a few days I was given lots of help from the midwives regrading BFing.

When I was in hospital, the visiting times were limited to 2 hours in the evenings (except for the fathers of the babies who could come in the days) so you have plenty of time to be alone with the baby.

My baby was always beside my bed in a little cot & was never taken away from me. For the first day or so, when I wanted to take the baby out of the cot for feeding etc, I had to pull a cord for the midwife to come.

For me the experience was daunting ( it was my first baby) but fine. I actually appreciated the fact that I was in hospital so should there be a problem, i was in the "right" place

HTH

How petite, pixie04? Are these consultants or your inlaws and coworkers giving opinions?

There was this tiny Bangladeshi woman down the road, where we used to live. She was under 4'10" and so small she needed a booster cushion to see over the dashboard to drive a car.

She pumped out (vaginally) 5 babies, all of them over 8lbs. You can't tell just by "looking".

Just wondering who has told you you will need a section? Its not to do with size of you normally but the size of your hip space. My sister is only 5ft and size 8-10 and has had 2 natural births.
If you do end up with C section, you will have to stay in butas someone said, visting is linmited with people other than father. I breast fed dd an hour after she was born and she was never taken from me after that. I was able to care for dd when we got home with the help of my husband.
Be strong with your family if they do want to help. Get them to help with cleaning and cooking and explain you want to spend time with bumpy.

Good luck

Lisa

Not sure about being petite needing c-sections. People love to have an opinion on your pregnancy, and it's rarely based on anything grounded in fact.

I think the best approach to birth is to have an open mind. I planned a lovely water birth and had an emergency c-section. It's not that important. What you do for the next 18 years after that is important. How you give birth is just a means to an end.

Pixie

I am very sorry, that before you have even conceived your baby, you are being given scare stories

women tend to grow the size of baby they can birth...and two of the trimmest women i know ...size 8, if not a wee bit smaller have had 8 babies between them, all vaginal delivery, no problems at all!!

I am a firm beleiver in positive thinking about the birth, and to bolster your self belief by reading positive stories about birth..I always recommend Ina May Gaskin and Sheila Kitzingers books , as they revel in womens' birthgiving abilities

Even if you do have a c.s , there is a lot you can do to ensure good bonding and breastfeeding, and you can even do a c.s birth plan

I would aim for a homebirth, and take it from there !!

Just to add, following lulu's post - there have been no bonding issues with me and ds whatsoever. I b/fed him for 7 months (even though he was a v big baby and I was told I wouldn't be able to) and am still b/feeding him now at 2.8yo, so no issues there.

Its relatives and co workers telling me I may need a c/s. I'm 4 ft 11" and a size 6 - 8. I also have size 3 feet (my mother tells me this has something to do with the size of my hips?) My other half however is the other end of the scale at over 6 ft 6". I'm glad to hear that you guys didn't have bonding issues, thats the most upsetting for me.

Beansprout your on the spot about people liking to have opinions about other peoples pregnancies.

My SIL had a hard time with relatives telling her to do this that and the other. I guess thats probably why I'm anxious about relatives taking over. Maybe being in hospital for a few days after the birth may not be such a bad thing.

I think beansprout is spot on -- the thing is, becoming a parent isn't a process you can entirely control. You can only try to guide it and tilt the odds.

Concentrate on one thing at a time. Some people can't even get as far as getting pregnant -- that's your first challenge. Then there's a period of being pregnant when there's a high risk of miscarriage. Then there are scans, tests, to make decisions about. And so on. It's a 20 year effort, so MUCH can happen.

Ignore them. My mother was the same height and weight as you (except she has size two feet and is a size 10 now she has hit middle age) and she had both myself(7lbs) and my brother (9lbs) completely naturally.

My SIL scared the pants off me by mentioning the feet/hips rubbish (I have size 3 feet, although I am a size 16). I mentioned it to my doctor as I was so scared (was 30 weeks pg)and she laughed and told me it was an absolute load of rubbish.

No one can possibly know what is going to happen in the future, but I would probably stop discussing it with these people as it doesnt sound like they are being very helpful or thoughtful.

Thank you all of you x I only joined up today after reading some threads and I really appreciate all your support. I think your right flack getting pregnant is the first step and so far its not as easy for everyone (I've been TTC for 6 months and have endo). Its becoming like everything is about getting pregnant, being pregnant, giving birth and the early weeks. A bit of relaxation and ignoring relatives points of view for a little while may even help the process. I do want to be as informed as possible and open minded to things that could happen though so advice from people is always welcome with me.

Pixie, you know how the earth's crust moves and how the techtonic plates overlap each other at the fault lines? Well, a baby's head is designed to do the same thing and so mould itself to fit through the birth canal.

Also your pelvis is designed to separate and the ligaments loosen from early pg to allow this. Your pelvis can open up to 28% more in labour depending on the position you adopt. A lying down position will not allow this whereas being upright or on all fours will!

I had an emCS for my first and they doubted my pelvis but it was all down to my naievity and poor positioning and lack of knowledgeable support. I didn't know that BF and bonding could be an issue after CS and I had absolutely no problems! BM may have taken a bit longer to come in but otherwise nothing...

I then had a VBAC for my second and now know that there's nothing wrong with my pelvis! And there's nothing wrong with yours, most likely!

Get reading Ina May Gaskin, Sheila Kitsinger, Dr Sarah Buckley or Pam England (Birthing from Within) and learn to believe in your body!

Pixie, I am 5ft tall, a size 8-10, and have size 3 feet. I have had 1 C/section (due to DS being breech, nothing to do with my size) and 2 natural deliveries.

i was put under a genral for my c section and i had no problems bonding with her and with in days i was back to doing nomal jobs like hoovering etc. and i would do it all again.oh i was told from the beinging it would be imposable for me to carry a child as i was only 6 stone i proved them wrong.

Bonding and breastfeeding aren't affected by a C-section in my experience. All the 'problems' they tell you about with bf'ing after a seciton weren't true at all for me - it never hurt my scar at all to hold DD in bf'ing position. As for the relatives taking over, they can take over with things like housework, not baby things! You don't need to be mobile to look after a baby - you just need to be able to sit/lie and feed in the first few days (assuming DP will be around to help with bathing/nappy changing etc.) so the relatives won't need to do baby things. Just tell them the best thing they can do to help you is to cook you a meal!

I had EC-section 14 days ago. I feel fine. NO problems with bonding or breastfeeding. Ask them to give the baby to you as soon as poss. My midwife let me cuddle my baby when he first came out, covered in yuck (vergin-whatsit). Then my dp held him and he was back with me within 2 mins and I held him while they stitched me up.

Keep an open mind and C-sections can be good. Have a relatives rota for house work, that'll put them off visiting you too much!

Another positive side effect that as you can't do everything your dp will spend loads of time with your child and bond and not feel left out.

Also have a think about hypnobirthing - it really helped me stay calm and focussed, and deal with the situation.

I've had 2 sections (one emergency and one elective) they do not affect bonding or your ability to breastfeed. I breastfed my first baby for almost 6 months and this one is 7 weeks tomorrow and is feeding fine. they don't take your baby from you in hospital and visiting is strictly limited (except for the father who can be there most of the day).
It is not certain you will need one though - people love to scaremonger for some unknown reason! Just relax, if it comes to you needing a c-section they are really not that bad!!

My sister is 4"11 she has pushed out three babies (largest one 8lb) all easily without any problems. Loads of little women push out good size babies, it is not necessarily going to be a problem. Hope it happens for you soon.

On the off chance that your rels are right Pixie, get yourself some private medical insurance that will cover you for a private room after a medicaly necessary CS.
Am no expert, but the general concensus on MN seems to be that NHS post-natal wards are pretty grim!

Haven't read whole thread but apparently, the size that your hips appear outside your body doesn't mean that the internal size of your hips is small. Some large people have hips that (inside their body) are small.

Also, it is likely that your body will grow a baby to suit you. I suppose that is unless your DH/DP is hugely tall?

Don't waste any more time worrying about this. Instead, enjoy the "trying to get pregnant" bit, and if you do get pregnant try to enjoy the pregnancy.

You probably won't need a c-section, but if you do they are not the end of the world and certainly don't stop you bonding or breastfeeding.

Thanks again for your replies. Crokky DP is acctually hugley tall hes a full 6 foot 7". We've got an appointment with GP on Friday. Its been 6 mnths now TTC so were going in for a chat I think I will talk to the doc about my concerns too.