Any tips about having a baby please. I am young and scared.

[Fluffy00]

Hi. I'm new here. Has anyone ever given birth alone? I mean completely alone like with no midwife or anything? I'm young and expecting a baby which I think will be here very soon. I don't really want anyone else involved but I know it will be safer so if anyone has any tips that they can give me about anything to do with giving birth to a baby really it would be helpful because I don't know what to expect and I'm quite scared. Thank you to anyone who replies.

@WeeDangerousSpike thank you I will download that. Thank you every one I'm glad I posted on here otherwise I think I still wouldn't have done anything. I just didn't know what else to do. It's easier to talk to people I don't know. We're still waiting for her mum to get home.

@Tenpole I knew I must be getting to full term that's why I knew I had to do something.

Just thought I'd post and say I know a girl who gave birth a week after her 15th birthday. She now has a lovely 9 year old, she did well in her exams and has a good job, nice house, and support from her family. Things can work out. Your mum may seem angry at first, but it will be because she is worried about you. She'll calm down quickly. You're doing the right thing getting help, it was very brave to post here.

Hi fluffy I'm so glad you have got help your so brave wishing you all the luck in the world

@firstbrightday thank you it's good to hear positive stories. My friend's mum's just got in. My friend is downstairs telling her that I'm hear. I don't know what's going to happen or how long it will take but I'll try to come back on here later tonight. Thank you all.

Is your mum at home now fluffy? You need to talk to her tonight really.

You have been very brave to not only find support but actually do something about it. Don’t worry if you bleed later after the sweep, that happened to me. But it meant I had to go into hospital overnight. That’s why it’s really important that you tell your mum. I didn’t actually give birth until another sweep and 5 days later but because I’d had a bleed I had to have a foetal monitor on and another scan.

I would say try breast feeding, it’s cheaper, easier (once you get the hang of it). But if you can’t manage there maybe some financial help given your age to buy formula. I would also advise support from social services. They aren’t horrible people, they are there to help you be the best mum you can.

Have you thought if any names yet?

Sweetheart, did you tell the hospital staff the truth about how old you are? They seem a bit casual about all this and it's making me wonder if they don't actually realise that you're 14 or that you haven't received any care for the pregnancy so far.

They should have a safeguarding midwife to help you with your situation once they realise what it is. I know 'safeguarding midwife' might sound like a scary thing but she really is there to help you.

Fluffy I've just been through the whole thread and wanted to wish you the best of luck!! I am due tomorrow with my baby so any questions please ask away! I had my first child age 19 so still a young mum and know too well how you must be feeling about telling your mum, it's petrifying but honestly so much better just getting it out the way and it's never as bad as you build it up
In your head! The worst reaction was my dad - he didn't talk to me for two weeks - like you thought I am his little girl and he just had to get his head round it (actually I'm now 30 and was worried about telling him just as much this time round!) and do you know what! He is the best most fabulous support to me and the children now, he sees them all the time and is so excited about the new baby (especially as he wants it to come
Saturday for his birthday) so even if you don't get the reaction you wanted don't write them off completely it is a shock. Friends I found were the most feeble - however I also met lifelong friends through my children's friends and they have been a great support too! Good luck xx

Good luck Fluffy, telling your friend's mum. You're doing the right thing getting other people involved now. Wishing you all the best for the birth

Good luck sweetie, you are doing really well

You are being so brave and doing the right thing by letting people know. I know it must seem hard now but you can do this.

Just wanted to wish you all good things Fluffy, you've been incredibly brave today and should be bloody proud of yourself. I work in social services, I promise we aren't as scary as sometimes it seems and there's support out there for teen mums if you ask. Please keep in touch with us all on here - we are all rooting for you!

I've got a 7 month old daughter and a 3 year old son. I'm not going to lie and pretend it's been a walk in the park, because it isn't, but my children make me smile every single day (they also make me want to bash my head off the wall but I wouldn't have it any other way). My husband was a teen dad to my stepson (16 when he was born) and he was/is an amazing dad, I absolutely have faith that being young doesn't mean you can't be an amazing parent.

Wishing you love and a straightforward labour!xx

Good luck fluffy, just saw your post. Let us know how you get on when you can.

Well done Fluffy

I'm so pleased to see your updates today.

I hope you are starting to realise that the midwives will really help you through this.

I'm also pleased that you are going to speak to your friends mother.

If she's as nice as you say I'm sure she will help you speak to your mum.

I know that I would help in her situation.

Remember what a lot of people have said about your mum.

It will be a huge shock and she will need a little time to process it. This is why it might be better for your friends mum to speak to her first.

She will have questions. It's inevitable.

Most likely about why you didn't tell her and who the father is. She might ask why you didn't use contraception.

My advise is to be honest. Tell her what you've posted here.

Finally, don't worry about asking "stupid" questions on here. There's no such thing.

Unfortunately on here we sometimes get people lying about their circumstances and as a result some posters are very wary of that and find it hard to believe people who need support.

For my own part I'll be honest, I'd much rather respond and help using a small amount of my time rather than risk someone in genuine need not getting the support they require.

Good luck tonight.

You are bloody AMAZING - if you were my daughter I would be so proud of how you are handling this. Please keep us posted and ask for help if you need it - like we say we are all rooting for you!xx

Hope everything goes well @Fluffy00
I had my first baby when I was 17 fell pregnant at 16 and couldn't of done it without the support of my mum and partner.
Please find a way to tell her before the baby comes so she can be there with you when the time comes to bring baby into the world
When I had my 2nd baby my partner and mum never made it to hospital in time so I gave birth on my own with just one midwife who I'd only met once and had never been so scared in my whole life so please please tell someone ❤️

I’m so glad everything is well with the baby and with yourself.
Good luck tonight, there will be lots of talking, sorting out and probably a few tears too but don’t forget your mum just loves you and wants the best for you and this is probably the last thing she is expecting. She will get used to the idea and I’m sure she’ll be there for you every step of the way.
You’re also going to need some baby equipment (car seat to come home from hospital, somewhere for baby to sleep, clothes etc) so you might need her help sourcing these items. You can usually get decent second hand items from local Facebook pages

Fluffy, my daughter was pregnant at 16, she's 17 now and due in a few weeks. I wished it hadn't happened so soon but we're all looking forward to meeting her. Like someone said up thread, babies are a blessing.
In terms of buying things for the baby, you should be entitled to a £500 Sure Start maternity grant, plus Healthy Start vouchers for fruit and veg and milk. And you or your mum will be able to claim child benefit for the baby. Charity shops or secondhand Facebook sites often have prams, bouncers and other things. Babies don't need a lot really.
I think you've done really well today. Good luck with telling your mum.

You've had a big day, keep being brave. Well done. Hope it's all going ok with your friend's mum.

Just thinking of you @fluffy. It's going to be OK - you are doing the absolute best that you can and you will have the right support in place if you give birth in hospital.

For what it's worth, I had my babies at 33 and 35. I was terrified each time and they were planned! You are being very brave.

Evening, everyone. We're going to close this thread to comments now but we'll be leaving it up so that Fluffy can still read all the useful information and support here.

@Fluffy - we didn't want you to miss out on all the info you obviously wanted so we've left the thread to run but we're going to close it to new comments now that you're getting that all-important RL support. You'll still be able to read everything here though. Mumsnet is generally a site for adults, but we want to be able to give younger mums the benefit of Mumsnetters' advice and support whenever we can, too. We hope it's been of use. Very best of luck with your baby's birth. We're sure your mum will want to support you too as soon as she knows.

Best wishes from all of us at MNHQ.

Good luck op