Any tips about having a baby please. I am young and scared.

[Fluffy00]

Hi. I'm new here. Has anyone ever given birth alone? I mean completely alone like with no midwife or anything? I'm young and expecting a baby which I think will be here very soon. I don't really want anyone else involved but I know it will be safer so if anyone has any tips that they can give me about anything to do with giving birth to a baby really it would be helpful because I don't know what to expect and I'm quite scared. Thank you to anyone who replies.

Fluffy I felt a bit embarrassed telling my dad I was pregnant and I was 32.

Don't worry about their feelings for now, you've got a major life event due to occur in the next few days and the most important person to consider now is you - how do you feel and do you know what you need to do when you start going into labour?
Please do go to the hospital, then it will be familiar and you will know that there will be people there who will help you with childbirth.
And when it's time to bring your baby home, your mum will need to know.
Everyone is scared and unsure of what to do when they have their first child, no matter how young or old they are! Good luck.

You've not done anything wrong, you're young and scared and that's ok but you'll be a mum soon and sometimes that means making tough decisions and being brave. Tell your mum sweetheart.

You haven't done anything wrong sweetheart, you're scared and that's totally natural. You've made a massive step today and that took guts!

Hi Fluffy, I have just been reading through this thread and am so in awe of your bravery. Well done for going to the medical centre today. I hope you are able to reach out to other people (your mum or your friend's mum) for more support. Wishing you all the very best.

Oh bless you sweetheart, reading this thread breaks my heart. I was in a slightly similar situation. I had a cryptic pregnancy at 21 (second year of uni), found out I was pregnant at 34 weeks after I went to the GP with repeated stomach pains. The stress and shock of finding out brought labour on and I gave birth a week after I found out. My parents lived abroad at the time and I was absolutely terrified of telling my mum. I had no choice but to call her, a day after I'd given birth and tell her. She wasn't angry at all, all she wanted to do was to help me and make sure me and DD were ok. I could not have done it without her. Please my lovely, it may feel like an impossible task but once you do it the relief you'll feel is so worth it.

Nobody has done anything wrong. Some bumps don't get very big and are easy to hide im sure.

It's normal to be scared and to bury your head in the sand sometimes but now you'll be a mum yourself.

You and your family will love the baby and everything will work out.

I still haven’t told my parents I’m pregnant due to the same embarrassment etc and I’m 41 with a good job and a long term partner. I think we both just need to take a deep breath and just do it. 💓

I breastfed at 15 I'm sure the midwives and everyone else will help you get started with it. If you can't breastfeed don't worry not everyone does. you might get healthy start vouchers towards milk. I don't k ow if there's and age limit though

Hi Fluffy, I just wanted to say I've read your whole thread and think you are amazing. There are many adult women who come on here for advice and ignore and bury their heads in the sand. Within 24 hours you've managed to already see a doctor. You have done so well.

It really is time to tell your mum, it will be a lot easier for her to help you once she knows, I was 23 when I had my daughter and still held my mums hand in labour!

Do you think you could ask your friend to see when her mum is free and if she could help you with something important? It would be good to be able to speak to her as soon as possible, and then perhaps she could be there when you tell your mum - or she could tell her directly, if you are too scared.

I know you are fearful about telling your mum but she really does need to know now. You are where you are, you can't change anything, and you will need her. You will be relieved when you don't have to hide it anymore, I promise.

Google all you can about signs of labour in case you need them (there's a lot of information on this site) and also about danger signs to look out for which might show if baby is in any distress.

What is the medical appointment this afternoon?

No advice here, just a handhold of support.
This amazing little baby you’ve grow is definitely going to want to come out, so whether you tell family now to allow them to come to terms with it, or tell them when you go into labour.... it’s going to happen and your brother and dad will know eventually!

Your parents may well be upset and angry but a lot of this will be upset and anger that they didn’t realise, that they haven’t been able to help you. If they’re angry at first they will calm down.

Is it worth writing a list of things you want to say? So

• I’m pregnant
• The baby could come any time
• What you want to say or not say about the dad - whether you want to tell or involve him.
• What you need immediately eg hospital bag items, nappies, something for the baby to sleep in, car seat.
• What your aim is long term for studies etc. I know this seems v distant but your parents will be concerned so it will reassure them if you show you’ve given it some thought.

Asking for their help with practicalities eg putting a hospital bag together or picking up some nappies, or making space in your room for a cot, will help to make it real for them and involve them. It’ll show them that you are thinking about the practicalities too.

Freecycle and Facebook marketplace will be valuable for you. People often give away or sell very cheaply baby items, as they just need the space back!

Best of luck, keep talking to us. Many mums here, some young and some older, so lots of experience.

Please tell your mum, yes she will be shocked but she will be there for you and little one.

Well done for getting help ⭐️

At the moment I just feel scared. I don't want the baby to come out because I don't want things to change. But I know I can't keep it a secret for much longer because obviously the baby is nearly ready and my belly is quite big now and holding it in under my tights has started to hurt. I don't hug my family anymore because I don't want them to feel it. I feel like even though maybe my mum won't be cross she will think my life is ruined and try to make me give the baby away. I don't know if waiting until she can see the baby will make her a bit more easy on the situation. I think I'm still messing everything up but I don't know what to do.

I was embarrassed telling my parents. It was all a bit 'LOOK! I HAVE HAD SEX!'

Oh honey she can’t make you give your baby away. What happens to your baby needs your agreement.

oh fluffy im so proud of you and how brave you have been. you have absolutely done the right thing getting help please go back to the hospital today. and please tell your mum you need her support now more than ever.

please keep posting here when u can we all here for you.

Still tell her before your baby is born. Give her time to adjust. She might come across as angry at first when really she is shocked and worried. If you give her time, she will have calmed down by the time baby arrives.

You haven't done anything wrong xxx

Your life is not ruined! Plenty of posters here will confirm that through their experiences.
Only one thing is for sure though, you will be giving birth to a baby soon. So put off worrying about all the other stuff until later.
You can start to think about what you want to do after that, and hopefully your family will help & support you in making whatever decision is best for you and your baby.

This feels insurmountable but just look how far you’ve come in 24 hours.
I think writing it all down for your mum might be better, then she can read it, digest it, and think it through before she comes to you x
Did you find out about your friends mum? I know you think it will be better to say to your own mum after the baby is here, but honestly it sounds like your mum really lives you and her support during labour would really help you x
You’ve got this Fluffy x

I was worried telling my parents on all my children, it was knowing they knew I’d had sex 😂🙈
I was also very afraid when about to have all of them. Things end up being ok, the other posters suggestion of writing things down to say is a great idea

I know you're scared - and I know you're young and it's a tricky situation, but so many women are absolutely terrified as they approach the birth, it's a scary time for anyone. I'm sure you will be responsible and go to hospital when you need to, but just to say if you didn't it could be very dangerous for both you and the baby.

Nobody can make you give your baby away if you don’t want too. Your mum might say things like that or that you’ve ruined your life because she is shocked but you can prove her wrong.

You're doing really well. It's a good idea to go back to the medical centre this afternoon.
Your mum is going to be shocked but she sounds loving and caring. It's not her decision what happens with the baby. It's yours. I'm sure she will support you whatever you choose.
Good luck.