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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Any tips about having a baby please. I am young and scared.

347 replies

Fluffy00 · 26/02/2019 18:24

Hi. I'm new here. Has anyone ever given birth alone? I mean completely alone like with no midwife or anything? I'm young and expecting a baby which I think will be here very soon. I don't really want anyone else involved but I know it will be safer so if anyone has any tips that they can give me about anything to do with giving birth to a baby really it would be helpful because I don't know what to expect and I'm quite scared. Thank you to anyone who replies.

OP posts:
SayNoToCarrots · 26/02/2019 18:26

Why will you not have a midwife?

littlecabbage · 26/02/2019 18:27

Please don't even consider giving birth alone. If there were complications, you or the baby (or both) could die. Haven't you seen a midwife yet? How old are you?

reefedsail · 26/02/2019 18:27

Are you OK? It sounds a little bit like not many people know you are having the baby? Do you have some RL support?

FallenSky · 26/02/2019 18:28

When you say no midwife do you mean you've had no antenatal care at all? How old are you?

sakura06 · 26/02/2019 18:29

Please make sure someone is there with you, even if that means going to a midwife led unit.

CountFosco · 26/02/2019 18:30

Childbirth is something that you need to be with a midwife for to look after you, particularly if you are very young and scared. Please, if you think you are in labour go to the nearest hospital and they will help you and give you time to decide what you want to do next.

AssassinatedBeauty · 26/02/2019 18:31

You will need medical support, even if it's calling an ambulance. Especially if you haven't had any medical care so far in your pregnancy. All sorts of things can go wrong and you will need urgent help.

If you're very young, is there an adult you can confide in? You will need support, physically and mentally. Even if it's not an immediate family member? A friend's mum maybe?

scaredofthecity · 26/02/2019 18:31

You really need to speak to someone.

Childbirth can be very dangerous, especially as a first time mum.

Please don't try and do this alone, it could make you very poorly.

AssassinatedBeauty · 26/02/2019 18:32

If you think you're in labour you can go to the nearest A&E and tell them. They will help you and your baby, and no one else needs to know right now.

PartyHatOnADog · 26/02/2019 18:33

Can you tell us exactly what situation you're in, OP? Do you have plans for what will happen once baby arrives?

frenchonion · 26/02/2019 18:34

Hi. Dont go this alone chook, could be really dangerous for you and your baby. Sorry if I'm misunderstanding what you're asking! How old are you? A million and more people have been, are and will be in your situation so do know you're not the only one to be a young mum. You're not alone. There's major support out there and this could be the best thing that ever happened to you. One of my close friends had a baby at 16, she's now in a professional job in London, her baby is a big teenager and they are so close. Have you any real life support (parents, relatives, friends)? All the very best to you. There's great support on mumsnet too, so keep posting! It's been a lifesaver for me at times.

ApolloandDaphne · 26/02/2019 18:35

You need to make sure you get medical help.

Original poster
Fluffy00 · 26/02/2019 18:43

Hi sorry I am quite young I'd rather not say how young exactly and please don't judge me for not having any medical care yet. I know it's stupid but I've been very scared about the whole thing and probably haven't done the right things. The baby moves and kicks a lot. I'm not in labour, but I am getting big and heavy so I don't think it will be long. I have one friend who knows that's all. Her mum is very nice so maybe I could tell her. Thank you everyone who has answered so far you've all made me see already that I mustn't be alone. And thank you everyone who is showing support to me because I really do need it.

OP posts:
Courchevel · 26/02/2019 18:45

No one is judging you for being young.

But please please don't give birth alone. If I'd be alone when I had my first u would've died.

I only say this to encourage you to seek midwife support.

And hiding it now is one thing.... you wont be able to hide a baby. So it will come out eventually.

littlecabbage · 26/02/2019 18:47

Please tell a trusted person like your friend's Mum. It's not like you can hide a baby once it's here, so best get it out in the open now, and start accessing the care you need. Stay on Mumsnet too - we'll help to support you.

AssassinatedBeauty · 26/02/2019 18:48

Bless you, no one is judging you. We are all concerned for you, and want to help. It's really clear that you are scared and worried, but actually if you have the help of a trusted adult then it will not just be all down to you. You should start to feel a little less scared then.

LovingLola · 26/02/2019 18:48

Please tell your friend’s mum.
If one of my dd’s friends was in your situation I would hope they would feel able to tell me

Ledkr · 26/02/2019 18:48

I had a baby at 16 so I wont judge you.. Ask me questions if you like. You can message me too if it helps. I will advise you

NotSoThinLizzy · 26/02/2019 18:49

The main person you need is a midwife at the very least. I had my DD at 15 and know how hard it can be to tell people. Please try to at least tell someone medical. You'll get to see the baby with a scan if you tell someone. But then again how are you going to explain the baby when you do give birth. At least if you tell them now they have time to get used to it before baby is born also more time to get you the support you will need.

MynameisJune · 26/02/2019 18:50

No judgement on being young and scared.

If you still live at home I would strongly urge you to tell your mum. Trust me, it’s rarely as bad as you will think it is. If you have a.l good relationship with her, yes she might shout and cry but there is no way she will want you to go through this alone.

Failing that please tell a trusted person like your friends Mum.

Child birth is dangerous, you need medical help so that you and baby get through it safely.

SnuggyBuggy · 26/02/2019 18:51

OP seek medical care. Maternity hospitals have experience of delivering babies from people who walk in off the street with no medical history, you won't be the first they have seen. They will want to do right by you and your baby.

NotSoThinLizzy · 26/02/2019 18:51

My mum nearly disowned me but when she seen the baby she started to come round and now loves the bits off her 😊

Shookethtothecore · 26/02/2019 18:53

No body is judging you, but you absolutely need medical care. So does the baby.
Do you have any idea how pregnant you are? Would your family be supportive?

Original poster
Fluffy00 · 26/02/2019 18:54

I think there's more chance I can keep my baby once it's here. If I told anyone now I think they would be cross. Thank you everyone I will try to speak to someone medical and maybe my friend's mum too. I need to work out when the baby should come as well. I will send a message to you later @Ledkr because I have to go out soon. Thank you very much.

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 26/02/2019 18:57

Sweetheart, you need to tell someone other than your friend. Is there a teacher or other member of staff at school you could tell?

The time to worry about people being cross has gone. Do you know how pregnant you might be? When was your last period?

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