Any tips about having a baby please. I am young and scared.

[Fluffy00]

Hi. I'm new here. Has anyone ever given birth alone? I mean completely alone like with no midwife or anything? I'm young and expecting a baby which I think will be here very soon. I don't really want anyone else involved but I know it will be safer so if anyone has any tips that they can give me about anything to do with giving birth to a baby really it would be helpful because I don't know what to expect and I'm quite scared. Thank you to anyone who replies.

Sweetheart, please PLEASE tell a trusted adult and take them along with you to your medical appointments. It’s very hard to take in information when you’re stressed and scared and I worry you haven’t heard what the midwives(?) have told you accurately. For example, it would be very hard for them to tell you specifically that you’re 40+2 at this stage, especially without a scan and when your bump’s still small enough to be held in by normal tights. My friend found out she was pregnant at 6 months along and by then they were saying 22-25 weeks!)

If you tell an adult they can come with you and help you through all of this process and I’m sure you’ll feel better knowing they’re there with you. If it feels weird to tell them in person, you can always write it down in a note and pass that to them? (Feels a bit weird too in its own way but gets you past the awkwardness!)

Just wanted to say well done for getting seen at the medical centre, and for going back later today. You're doing really well.

About telling your mum, she's going to notice when you go into labour. Either she'll be there at home with you or she'll realise you're in hospital. If you tell her then she can get over the shock and actually organise to be there to help you.

You haven't ruined your life, and your mum absolutely cannot make you give up the baby.

@MiaowMix to be honest, it seems you are the only poster remotely concerned with breast size. Everyone else has been supportive.

I'm out

I'd you want to try and breastfeed I'd really recommend a tube of lanolin for soothing the nipples. Don't worry about what bra size you are, it has nothing to do with how much milk you produce. Also don't worry if the baby just wants to feed and feed, they dont have anything better to do at that age.

Fluffy, having just read the whole post, I think you’re awesome you’re preparing what you can, what more can you do? Age is just a number!

Hope you got on ok at the medical centre Fluffy, and can work out what's best to do next x

Fluffy hoping you've found a way to tell your mum cos I suspect a great big hug from her is just what you need right now

@Fluffy00 please keep us updated lovely. We're all thinking of you 💗

Wishing you and your baby all the best. Try not to panic. You aren't the first 14yr old who's coped with this. No one can make you give up your baby.

@Fluffy - I’m a mother of a 14 year old (albeit a son not a daughter!) HOWEVER the thought of my child going through this ALONE with NO MEDICS would fucking terrify me and break my heart. I would absolutely 100% want to know. I would want to be there to hold their hand and reassure my terrified child.

So please tell your Mum.

I was pregnant at 17 and terrified of telling my Dad (he was a single parent to me) and honestly, his response knocked me sideways. He didn’t shout or cry or kick off. He said “Oh sweetheart, how long have you been carrying this knowledge around by yourself?” And gave me a massive hug. I was around 22 weeks at that point; had only known I was pregnant for 2 weeks. So it was a huge shock for both of us and not much time to prepare.

You have even less time.

Any advice I could give has already been given but I just want to say you are so so brave . I'm sure you will be a lovely mum and I wish you luck for the birth xx

@Fluffy00

You can do this. Please tell someone so you can have some support.

Well done, Fluffy00! You're doing all the right things right now, even if you still feel scared. We're all very proud of you

Please tell your Mum, and let us all know if we can help or advise with anything. xx

Oh Fluffy, I have a 14 yr old daughter in year 9....I wouldn't be cross at her, I would be shocked and I would 100% support her. Please tell your mum.

Thinking of you @Fluffy00, you are very brave and you can do this, please please make sure you have some support. As a mum to little girl i know i would be bloody shocked if this happened but would always be there for her no matter what, i would not be cross and i'd hate the thought of her doing it alone

Sending love and support @Fluffy00
You are doing so well and are being extremely brave xx

Best of luck OP, let us know how you get on at the medical center and with your friends mum.

It's normal to be scared, I'm due a baby in April and just had a class where every single woman said they were nervous about the birth but you're in a good position now you've gotten medical help.

And I know you think your mum will be angry but you are much better off having her know before the birth and it will be less of a shock.

You should be very proud of yourself that you're doing all you can now for yourself and your baby

Well done fluffy- you are doing so well. Sending you a big hug to you and your baby. I hope that soon your mum knows- as scary as it is it has to happen at some point. If it were my daughters I would be shocked, then the mama instinct would kick in and all I would want to do is protect them.

Sometimes when people feel scared or out of control, they get angry, as I'm sure you can understand. So your mum might be angry for a bit, but hopefully just at the situation not at you. She will soon come round, but she may need a bit of time.
However she reacts don't forget that she loves you- you are her daughter so it's a given. She may freak out for a bit but it will pass.
Good luck x

My cousin did the same as you. She didn't tell her mum until after the baby was born.

I had just had mine (also young, but not as young as her) so was able to send up some tiny baby bits, clothes and breast pads, and our Moses basket so at least she had somewhere to sleep (ours went in the cot).

They are all doing amazingly now.. her mum was shocked, my cousin was so upset. But her little girl is such a joy. My cousin's doing an NVQ in college and her little girl was the motivation to get on and succeed (our family are not great. So she had to step away from everyone apart from her mum, so did I.) She's such a good role model to her daughter and is truly changing her life for the better, not ruined at all but better.