Any tips about having a baby please. I am young and scared.

[Fluffy00]

Hi. I'm new here. Has anyone ever given birth alone? I mean completely alone like with no midwife or anything? I'm young and expecting a baby which I think will be here very soon. I don't really want anyone else involved but I know it will be safer so if anyone has any tips that they can give me about anything to do with giving birth to a baby really it would be helpful because I don't know what to expect and I'm quite scared. Thank you to anyone who replies.

If your periods were regular, you can find online due date calculators where you can put in the date of your last period and it will work it out for you.

No one in your family can take your baby away, even if they say they can.

Pleased you are going to get some help, everything will be ok. You can always come back here with questions there are lots of very kind and knowledgeable people around. Take care xxx

You can keep your baby regardless it’s your choice and help is available to you.
When did you take the positive pregnancy test? And do you think it was the last time you had sex? We could work out your dates if you know that information.

You sound really lovely, and it’s all going to be ok. But speak to a medical professional, it is very important

Bless you. You might be right about family members supporting you to keep the baby once it's here but a social. Worker or midwife will give you the chance to keep it if you can do as they advise.
Not telling anyone and getting medical care will not make you look responsible.
You need medical care cos lots can go wrong and it flipping hurts too 😂 please keep. Talking to us on here even if you don't tell anyone tonight.
Well.done for posting on here.

Please tell someone, either your friend's mum, if she's nice, or a medical professional, a midwife, or a doctor. Please, please do not try to give birth alone. If you are scared now at the thought, the reality, if you were alone, would be much more scary. You will need someone with you to tell you that everything is going ok. I don't say this to add to your fears, but to push you to get some help in place now. And good luck with your baby :)

If you speak to your GP or hospital it will be confidential, they won't tell your parents and you and baby can be safely looked after. If you have any concerns about this you can call 111 from a witheld number and they will reassure you and may be able to make an appointment for you in a false name if you still have concerns.

Please make sure you get some help, Drs etc will keep it confidential but you need to work out when baby is due and get the help you need?
Are you not showing? Are you hiding it?

Tell someone, anybody. And don't worry about not having had any check ups etc, you can just ring an ambulance and / or turn up, midwives and hospitals have seen and dealt with it all before. You're not the first and won't be the last.... You AND your baby will be the most important thing NOW, not then, despite what has or hasn't happened or whatever you have or haven't done lovely girl 🙂🙂xx

Hi, welcome to the site
You absolutely don’t need to let any of your family know yet, but if you decide to keep the baby (which is totally up to you!) then they will find out at some point. The best thing to keep you and baby as safe as possible will be to see a GP or go to A&E, call 111 or pop to a sexual health centre - all those places will have doctors who can help you to get the care you need now and when baby comes.
There is so much help and support for younger mothers, and there will be no judgement from the doctors and midwives :)

If I could give you a hug right now, I would.

You and baby will be much, much safer if you have someone medical with you while you give birth.

And afterwards too. They will help you to give your baby the care that they need.

Talk to your lovely friend's mum. Trust her, let her help you. Don't be alone with this, good people will want to support you.

I think speaking to your friend's mum is a wonderful idea.

If I were in your shoes, I would go for a sleepover at your friends house and text your mum that you are pregnant and scared. Obviously face to face is better, but I know how hard it is when you are young and scared of a reaction. Please get medical help at least- a midwife needs to check that your baby is growing well.

I too think talking to your friend’s mum is a great idea. It is your body and your baby and that is the same whatever your age but everyone needs support.

For what it is worth, even though I was older than you are when pregnant, I was surprised by the midwives. I assumed they’d be a lot more judgemental than they were. Mine were very much in support of me and wanted to support my wishes.

Thank you. Posting on here has been a really big step but I just didn't know what else to do. I get on ok with my mum but I know she'd be really cross. I've been very very stupid. I haven't done a pregnancy test because I was too scared when I realised my periods had stopped. I have only had sex once. I don't know why I did it. I've just looked back over things and I think it was around the 1st or 2nd June. My mum works a lot of nights so I try to be out for school before she gets home because my belly is getting really quite big and round now. I'm about to go out now and I'll be back later to talk again. Thank you everyone.

You can go to any hospital with a maternity department when you go into labour, it doesn't matter if you've been there before and you don't need to give your name if you don't want to.

I agree talking to somebody is a good idea, but just in case.

Do you know when your last period was, even roughly? There are due date calculators online which will tell you when the baby is due in that case. It is most likely that it will arrive within a couple of weeks of this date (it's not exact).

Oh you poor thing. You’ve done the right thing asking for advice. From those dates it sounds like baby will be due very soon.
Please tell your mum, she will be cross BUT she also loves you and will want to look after you and help you. If you really can’t tell her, tell your friends mum or a midwife or your GP, they will help you to find out when baby is due.

Hi OP

A warm welcome to Mumsnet.

We can see that you're getting lots of support and advice from other Mnetters, and that's wonderful, but we just wanted to share some useful resources for you that may help you going forward. Please do check them out.

We have our Labour and childbirth page. There's also the pregnancy calender and lastly, there's our pregnancy health page.

Support from Mnetters is great but it's a really good idea to seek real-life advice and support, too.

Fluffy00 you might only have a couple of weeks to go, with the date you have given.

Where are you going to at night? Are you safe with friends?

Fluffy, I am a midwife. If you want to chat, message me. But I do need to repeat how important it is that you get some help.

If that date is correct then you’ll be about 40 weeks pregnant now. You really need to tell someone sooner rather than later so that they can support you. There are some increased labour risks with younger mums, which are perfectly manageable with trained professionals there to help. Being scared is perfectly normal. I was scared even with my third labour, and I was 36. You’re going to be fine, but you can’t do it alone.

Echoing the words of many you really do need to tell someone, whoever you feel comfortable telling, but it's clear your mum will have to know eventually.
If you conceived on the 2nd June that means your baby is due very soon. Its great that you are feeling lots of movement but I can't stress how important it is that you seek medical help for anti natal care,ideally before you go into labour as they will need to check the presentation of the baby (which way round it is) and where your Placenta is as if its covering your cervix you will need a c-section.
Also by seeking anti natal care and proper maternity care in labour not only is it so so much safer for you and baby, it will look better in the eyes of social services, a concealed pregnancy will always be investigated by social services but if you access proper care they will help you to ensure you and your baby are safe. If you don't you are putting your babies and your own life at risk.

Oh goodness, no judgement from me! You sound young and understandably scared. Could you write a note for your Mum? It means you don't have to be summon up the courage to say the words, it also means she can deal with her shock without upsetting you more with a reaction she may not even really mean.

Just please, please don't try to give birth alone. Had I tried I would have died along with my son, but I was in hospital and so we were fine and able to go home the next morning.

I used to work with teenage parents, there's help out there (though varies depending where you live) please see a midwife ASAP. They're very used to teenage pregnancies and possibly have a specialist team - don't worry about being judged! I've worked with some fantastic young mums 😊👌🏼

Bless you. I'm 36 weeks and I didn't have my implant out until July so you must be about due or even overdue now, and you really do need medical help.

I think anybody you told would just want to help you, can you pop to your walk in centre and speak to somebody there this evening? Do you have sexual health clinics close?
You could make an appointment with your GP in the morning. Any of these people will be able to give you some advice now, and then support you in telling family and help with that if you need.

I think if you say how young you are, nobody here is going to judge you, but we might be able to give more appropriate advice or age appropriate advice maybe.

Is there anybody at school or college you can speak to if you go there?

If it was my daughter, I'd hope that if she was brave enough to post for help here, that she was brave enough to either tell me or somebody else as soon as possible afterwards so that you can have the right medical care in place.

Things like whooping cough vaccination you might have missed but midwives might need to do a blood test and check what blood group you are so they know what to give you should you loose blood giving birth and need more, or need a genera anaesthetic.

Plus you will need lots of support, and as quick as you've talked to somebody and everybody's emotions are out the way, you can make sure you have that before baby arrives.