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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Any tips about having a baby please. I am young and scared.

347 replies

Fluffy00 · 26/02/2019 18:24

Hi. I'm new here. Has anyone ever given birth alone? I mean completely alone like with no midwife or anything? I'm young and expecting a baby which I think will be here very soon. I don't really want anyone else involved but I know it will be safer so if anyone has any tips that they can give me about anything to do with giving birth to a baby really it would be helpful because I don't know what to expect and I'm quite scared. Thank you to anyone who replies.

OP posts:
shpoot · 27/02/2019 13:41

Your mum is likely to say your life is ruined, what about your studies and my guess is she'll immediately want to know who the dad is.

But it's all from shock and concern for you. Once the baby comes she will calm down and she will help you through it.

It's normal to be scared of change but you'll look back and not be able to imagine life without your baby.

Fluffy00 · 27/02/2019 13:42

Yes we have pshe lessons. Why? My friend is on her way so we're about to go back to the medical centre. Her mum gets home from work at about 7pm. I will message again later. Thank you everyone for the messages.

OP posts:
olderthanyouthink · 27/02/2019 13:42

Don't worry too much about breastfeeding, if you can do it it may hurt a fair bit at first but eventually it should stop, if you can't do it then that's what bottles and formula are for. You should be about to get child benefit to help wit some of the cost of having a baby (about £80 a month) and .

For what it's worth I didn't have big boobs before I was pregnant and then breastfeeding (at school I got called flat chested a lot) and they've gotten a lot bigger now.

Once you've told your mum or your friends Mum you can have a look at sorting a place for baby to sleep, a baby carrier or pram, a car seat etc. The car seat and mattress should be new for babies safety but these can be bought fairly cheaply.

Karigan195 · 27/02/2019 13:43

If you’re really worried fluffy go back to the medical centre and tell them no one else knows. You won’t be the first and won’t be the last teenager this has happened to. Tell the professionals they will help

shpoot · 27/02/2019 13:45

Good luck. Tell them that nobody knows and you need help telling your mum. They might ring her for you and she can come and meet you at the medical centre.

Ignore the phse poster. God knows what that's all about but whatever it is it's not helpful. I've reported it.

Hubblebubbletripletrouble · 27/02/2019 13:47

What type of medical centre is it? Are there midwives there?

MiaowMix · 27/02/2019 13:49

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pumpkinpie01 · 27/02/2019 13:50

We all feel scared when pregnant for the first time because its fear of the unknown, but talking to people will help you.Your mum has been through it and Im sure she will want to help you through this you dont want to go into labour tonight and her not know then you have the worry of telling her and the worry of labour itself. I was a pregnant teen, not as young as you, and I dreaded telling my parents and yes they were shocked at first and my mum was angry but everyone rallied round and Im sure yours will too. You are doing really well I just want to give you a big hug, Im sure we all do! Please keep us updated x

shpoot · 27/02/2019 13:52

Because there's no need to have digs at the girl. She's in a situation and needs help

TheClaifeCrier · 27/02/2019 13:53

You're being really brave Fluffy.

Thing is, when the baby arrives there will be no way to hide it from your Mum. So she is going to find out at some point.

Therefore, do you think it would be better for her to find out now so she can help you before you go into labour?

MiaowMix · 27/02/2019 13:54

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SpunBodgeSquarepants · 27/02/2019 13:55

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friskybivalves · 27/02/2019 13:57

Fluffy do you know something? Your dad will always think of you as his little girl. If you were 23 and having a baby he'd probably in his heart be a bit Hmm. Your brother the same but to a lesser extent. My husband jokes about being at the garden gate with a shotgun once my daughter starts dating. Even if she's in her thirties!! They will get over it and love you just the same.

I reckon your mum will also be fine. If she had a termination at 15 she won't be horrified that you have been sexually active young. And as for being sensible - well there's a limit to how sensible any teenager is ever going to be.

You get on with her. So tell her! And then it's done. The longer you wait, lovely, the bigger the shock is going to be. And in some ways she may be upset you were scared to tell her. That will only get worse too.

Xxx

EntirelyAnonymised · 27/02/2019 13:58

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Karigan195 · 27/02/2019 13:58
  1. if op is not genuine then it’s not going to effect you is it.

  2. if she is, and I personally think she is, then posts like that are going to drive a terrified heavily pregnant kid back into hiding.

So why don’t you exercise some common sense and give the digs a rest if you have any sense of human decency

EntirelyAnonymised · 27/02/2019 13:58

Miaowmix, sorry

friskybivalves · 27/02/2019 14:01

And also it's useful advice for any one else who finds themselves in a similar situation.

TrixieFranklin · 27/02/2019 14:02

Even if this situation isn't genuine, the advice on this thread could really help someone in real life searching for help online one day. If you have doubts report it to HQ but no need to announce it here too.

Idratherhaveacupoftea · 27/02/2019 14:04

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MiaowMix · 27/02/2019 14:07

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Graphista · 27/02/2019 14:07

Miaowmix and spunbodge completely unnecessarily nasty and against talk guidelines posts have reported both of you.

Fluffy you need to tell your mum ASAP really she needs to know so she can support you both.

As she's been pregnant herself at a young age she'll know "shit happens" so yea she might go a bit bonkers at first but she will calm down and help you.

You can't do this alone, you need the emotional and practical support.

Every first time mum is scared. And not just about childbirth!

I was nearly 30 when I had my daughter and I'd been a nanny for several years before and I still felt clueless! Grin

On the plus side I didn't find Labour especially painful not everyone does. But don't be reluctant to ask for pain relief if you want/need it. That's what it's there for.

My mum shelled babies out like podding peas but she still used gas and air.

You'll be fine, and you haven't ruined your life, I've friends who've had babies at all ages, youngest was 15 to look at their lives, careers, relationships etc now you'd have no idea of there being any difference (the 15 year old mum is now a barrister!)

It all works itself out eventually.

MiaowMix · 27/02/2019 14:09

@Graphista just out of interest what is so nasty about my posts?

olderthanyouthink · 27/02/2019 14:10

When I was pregnant a colleague learned sooooo much about biology from me, he had no idea how they tell the sex of the baby in utero, how the baby breathed, that banana weren't born with their eyes glued shut etc Fluffy seems to know more than that and she's 10 years younger!

And MN rules include no troll hunting.

olderthanyouthink · 27/02/2019 14:11

Babies not banana Blush ffs autocorrect

Graphista · 27/02/2019 14:11

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