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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

Any tips about having a baby please. I am young and scared.

347 replies

Fluffy00 · 26/02/2019 18:24

Hi. I'm new here. Has anyone ever given birth alone? I mean completely alone like with no midwife or anything? I'm young and expecting a baby which I think will be here very soon. I don't really want anyone else involved but I know it will be safer so if anyone has any tips that they can give me about anything to do with giving birth to a baby really it would be helpful because I don't know what to expect and I'm quite scared. Thank you to anyone who replies.

OP posts:

Girlinthegarden · 27/02/2019 12:47

I would just like to say that I know you're terrified, but I have seen you over the last day make some really sensible, rational choices and follow through with them in a way that many people much older would have struggled with. You should be really proud of yourself.

DoctorDread · 27/02/2019 12:49

hairymclarey152 · 27/02/2019 12:49

With my waters

I felt like a gush and a pop and then mine had a smell to it that I knew wasn't anything else.

I didn't have anyone but the midwife with me giving birth second time as my partner was last minute

The midwives were incredible and held my hand though it all.

My mom used to say there's nothing in the world we can't fix I hope you find someone you can trust who makes you feel like that too

wineymummy · 27/02/2019 12:50

Fluffy you should Google Gas and Air Blog - (please no MN comments on MoD, that's not the point of this post) - it's a blog written by a midwife and there are a lot of 'birth stories' on there which perhaps you could read to prepare yourself for what labour will be like?

Original poster

Fluffy00 · 27/02/2019 12:53

Thank you all. I will google the blog. I don't really know anything about labour.

OP posts:

Jellyfloodagain · 27/02/2019 12:55

I'm glad you went to the Dr's I agree that you need to tell your Mum. I was pregnant at 14 and gave birth a couple of weeks after my 15th birthday. My Mum was supportive but my Dad hit the roof. Once the baby was here and they could see that I was doing a good job it was fine.

Bobbiepin · 27/02/2019 12:56

It's worth reading about pain relief and the pros and cons about each of them. You can find some good pages on mumsnet but being prepares means you can ask for things and not have to make decisions like that when you're in labour.

Have you thought about how you are going to feed the baby?

Romanticrights · 27/02/2019 12:57

Just wanted to say how brave you've been and good luck with everything! Please try and tell someone you trust to help you get through the next step! Good luck

Original poster

Fluffy00 · 27/02/2019 12:58

I don't really have any money for formula feed but I don't know if I could breast feed. I'm not that developed.

OP posts:

friskybivalves · 27/02/2019 13:00

If your mum is out and not at work, can you wait until she's home and just blurt it out? I know it feels like the biggest no-no in the world. But I think she might in the end be more use and reassurance for you at a scan than a friend, however helpful that friend would want to be.

SheRaTheAllPowerful · 27/02/2019 13:02

Fluffy I am very small of boob and managed to breast feed twins, your body will produce enough milk if you’d like to breastfeed, it’s definiteky cheaper and I’m sure the midwives will support you to get started.
I bet you feel 100 times better than this time yesterday starting to get this out in the open.

friskybivalves · 27/02/2019 13:02

Breastfeeding isn't something that comes easily to everyone, that's true. And nothing to be ashamed of if it's not for you. But milk is likely to come in, and friends of mine who were flat chested were amazed by their new cleavages...

I'm sure the hospital will help you with formula feed in the early days. No one is just going to wander off and leave you struggling in a room by yourself.

Nurses and doctors and midwives have seen everything under the sun. They want only to take care of you and make sure you and baby are Ok.

Original poster

Fluffy00 · 27/02/2019 13:04

Yes in some ways it does feel better now I can talk to all of you but it's made it seem a lot more real now too. Specially with the medical centre saying they think I'm overdue.

OP posts:

Hailthelime · 27/02/2019 13:04

I just wanted to say that everything will work itself out. You will be scared but most 1st time Mums are probably scared. We don't know what to expect. The baby may bring you and your Mum closer. Make sure you take all the help offered and Good Luck. We look forward to hearing all about your little one! x

Hubblebubbletripletrouble · 27/02/2019 13:05

What is that makes you think your mum will be angry? Obviously she will likely be shocked, as I think many parents would be - but is she generally supportive and cares about you, looks after you with kindness? Most mums are, of course, but some children aren’t as lucky - so I just wanted to check.

shpoot · 27/02/2019 13:05

Well done! You've done great. Ask all the questions you like on here.

You won't be able to hold the baby in when it comes so you must contact the hospital straight away. It's very unlikely to come flying out though like it does on tv. Once you feel contractions (you will know) then get yourself to hospital.

Pack yourself a nightie or pjs and some maternity pads for afterwards.

Also some shampoo etc cause you'll want to freshen up afterwards. Muslins are useful too.

Your phone charger so you can let us know how you get on we will be rooting for you!

Good luck telling your mum and friends mum. I know it's scary but once you've said it you've done the hard bit. Could your brother help you tell her?

shpoot · 27/02/2019 13:07

My waters didn't break either. All labours are different so be aware of that. I never had a "gush". Just pains and they broke them for me I think

Strugglingonagain · 27/02/2019 13:08

Fluffy you've done so well so far! I think you need to your mum though, she'll find out once baby is here won't she? Better before I would think if you can possibly manage it x

Original poster

Fluffy00 · 27/02/2019 13:09

My mum is nice and yes she does care for me but she has always talked about safe sex and making sure you get to know someone first without rushing in to it just because you think you should. She had an abortion at 15 and says she knows she just couldn't cope with a baby when she was that young. She thinks I'm a sensible girl which I usually am. This is the last thing I thought would happen to me and she probably thinks that too. I feel the same about my brother as I do about my dad. I'd feel embarresed telling him there's a baby inside me. I'm his little sister.

OP posts:

Loyaultemelie · 27/02/2019 13:11

Fluffy you are doing so well. I am a reasonably "strict" Mum and if my dds came to me when they are your age I wouldn't be cross, just shocked and I would support them 100%

bobstersmum · 27/02/2019 13:14

I am sorry that you've been failed by your school and your family, how they've missed you being so heavily pregnant is beyond me. Good luck.

shpoot · 27/02/2019 13:14

Ok, your mum will look after you. She sounds nice. I'm sure she'll be shocked and probably cross at first but she loves you and will soon get over that. It's just getting over that hurdle of telling her.

But I think she does need to know today. If you are overdue you could go into labour at any time and you will want her help

Shookethtothecore · 27/02/2019 13:18

Well done fluffy!!!! Your doing so well!!!!
I think telling friends mum is a good idea. Get her to tell your mum then maybe?!
You are so brave and being a responsible mum already by being pro active and getting help

Original poster

Fluffy00 · 27/02/2019 13:19

I don't think anyone has failed me. I only noticed my belly growing a couple of months ago so I've just worn jumpers which no one things is strange because it's been cold. At school my jumper is quite big and I pull my tights up over my belly which holds it in a bit. I think I'm the only one who's done anything wrong by just hoping it will all go away.

OP posts:

ChakiraChakra · 27/02/2019 13:20

I am SO proud of you Fluffy, you're being really really brave.

Let us know how you get on this afternoon. Telling your friends mum today is a really good idea. Your mum will know sooner or later, and she sounds like a lovely mum, who yes might be very shocked but who will really really really want to know so that she can support you from now until, well, as long as you need it! She can help with money to buy things baby needs, to moral support for labour and a lift to and from the hospital. The fact that she got pregnant at a very similar age to you shows she's only human too so she WILL understand.

I'm really excited for your baby to arrive!
Xxxxxxx

Flip

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