Any tips about having a baby please. I am young and scared.

[Fluffy00]

Hi. I'm new here. Has anyone ever given birth alone? I mean completely alone like with no midwife or anything? I'm young and expecting a baby which I think will be here very soon. I don't really want anyone else involved but I know it will be safer so if anyone has any tips that they can give me about anything to do with giving birth to a baby really it would be helpful because I don't know what to expect and I'm quite scared. Thank you to anyone who replies.

Even if you just txt your mum, even just "mum I'm pregnant". You can talk then x

@fatberg it costs us nothing to believe in people on here. Surely it would be worse if op was genuine and no one believed her. Not only that but the advice given might help someone else who googles their way here but isn't brave enough to start a post.

There have been loads of times in my life where I've thought omfg this is is the worst thing ever, I can't sort this out, can't cope, everyone will hate me, I can't do this etc. But do you know what? Things have a funny way of sorting themselves out once you stand head on and face them. The consequences are never as bad as the fear and stress of hiding from the problems. You need to be super brave and reach out to someone in real life now. You've made a massive step posting on here. Yes there might be a short time of your mum freaking out, but things will come good in the end. What you cannot do is ignore this any longer, for your own safety. Keep posting x

Hi OP, I know the whole experience is scary and if you are distant from your mum it can make it difficult. I'm 18 and I have a 6month old and I remember feeling terrified when I found out. Please go to a hospital when you start having pains, it doesn't have to be one with a maternity depart but you will need support. Please PM so we can talk, we are all here to support you x

Just wanted to send lots of love to you OP. You have nothing to be ashamed of or judged for and you have done nothing wrong. Please reach out to an adult you trust and seek medical advice. It's not too late. Remember no one can force you to give up your baby if you don't want to - you are the mummy so you have rights.

I was a foundling when born which means my poor birth mother had me alone and left me outside a hospital - she was so brave to give birth to me alone and put me somewhere she thought was safe but it was actually very dangerous. If I hadn't been lucky and found then I wouldn't be around today. If she had complications maybe she wouldn't be around either. I've never met her but think she was incredibly brave but also very naive - luck really was on our side!

That was 30 years ago - Nowadays there is so much more support out there for young mums, please please from a former foundling to a mum-to-be, ask someone for help. Your GP, a teacher, anyone. If it's too big to say then write it on a piece of paper or a text or over the phone. Just tell someone.

I promise it will be better once someone else knows and you can ask anything you want on here and know somebody will come back to you right away - there's already lots of us who are sending you positive thoughts

Hope you're ok @Fluffy00 Make an appointment with your GP in morning. Or even go to hospital and ask if you can see a midwife. They will help you and will not be angry or harsh with you. They are there to look out for you and your baby. Please tell your mum's friend she'll have good advice 🌸

Echoing everyone else - please see a medical professional.

They see many under 16s and will not judge you, but want to make you and baby safe.

If I was near you I'd happily go to the hospital with you for a check especially if you were my daughters friend.

Remember, the anger is often a reaction of shock. No matter what happens, know that it's your right to keep this baby.

Wishing you a safe delivery. 💐

Good luck fluffy we are all thinking of you

Could your Friends mum maybe tell your mum for you if you are worried?.

I had my first child at a young age and it was scary to tell my mum, you need some support.

Another one here saying you need to tell someone sweetie, I can’t even imagine how scared and stressed you must be, but you really don’t want to go in to labour alone. It could potentially be very dangerous for you and your baby, and you sound like you care so much about this baby already.

You’ve been very brave to go this far on your own, but you need some help now. I work with people your age (or how old I imagine you are), is there an adult at school or college you could tell? If you search the name of your school and the word ‘pastoral’ it should come up with the best person if there isn’t someone who springs to mind. I would think you’re probably full term(ish) now, so if you can manage it tomorrow that would be best. Good luck, we are here if you need any advice

Well done for posting on here and asking for advice, that must have been so hard.
You’ve taken this first step, the next one is to tell someone in your real life. Labour is tough and can be dangerous, you need medical support and probably emotional support and encouragement too.
Who do you live with? I think it would be better to tell them now so they have a little time to get used to the idea than to just come home with a baby and it sounds like you would be due soon. Good luck and you can always come on here for support and advice

@Fluffy00 I have 3 daughters and I hate the thought that they may be too scared to tell me something like this. No matter how annoyed she may get initially she is your mum and hopefully will be able to help you xx

My sister in law got pregnant when she was 15 and her daughter was born just after she turned 16.

She didn't tell anyone until she was 7 months pregnant.

Her daughter is now 20 and at university.

All her family rallied round and supported her.
I wish you well.

Op, i have 3 children.
I can get really cross with them sometimes. My eldest really disappointed me earlier. But not about something like this! If my daughter got pregnant, I wouldn't be cross, I would be concerned that my beautiful baby has been keeping this big news from me and I would feel so worried about her knowing she must be petrified! I wouldn't make her feel bad, I would hold her close and help her in any way I can.

My point is, sometimes/mostly, us mums get ridiculously cross over stuff that doesn't really matter, but when it comes to the big stuff... we are alright!

Please please speak to your mum.

Can you tell someone at school? A teacher you trust maybe? They can support you too, and help you with telling your family when the time is right. Good luck

Absolutely no judgment- I know two amazing mums who had their babies at 15.

You sound very brave and it posting on here was a good first step. As others have said you need medical support for the birth to make sure you and baby are safe.

It is daunting but your mum is a good person to tell. Yes she might be shocked to begin with and yes she may admit that this isn’t what she might have chosen for you in other circumstances but even if you have your ups and downs day to day it is highly likely that no matter what she loves you like you wouldn’t believe and will be there for you.

Telling someone in real life and getting checked over medically ASAP will enable you to access a whole host of support that you don’t realise is there waiting at the moment and it will make things 1000 times better. Good luck x

Fluffy I'm fairly young but probably a fair bit older than you (23) I gave birth sort of on my own 3 months ago, my boyfriend was in another room getting an ambulance because we needed help, I absolutely do not recommend it and my baby and I were very lucky to be ok. I was wrongly sent home from hospital that's why I had my baby alone, it was an accident. My labour was long and quite painful and scary because I didn't know how much longer or what exactly was happening because there was no one there to guide me through it. The placenta got stuck inside me and could have done me serious harm and I needed a midwife to help remove it.

Your baby will need checking both now and at birth to make sure they are healthy.

To keep your baby you need to show that you are responsible and can provide good care for your baby and that means getting appropriate help. Social services will probably want to talk to you but they absolutely prefer to keep your baby with you and they aren't child snatching monsters.

Good luck OP, stay safe and speak to someone, anyone. Call the GP in the morning for an emergency appointment, you don’t have to tell the receptionist what the issue is. But if you’re as close to your due date as you suspect then you really need a care plan.

As for giving birth my one tip (which I appreciate is easier said than done when you’re scared) is to BREATHE! Long slow breaths in and out, practise whenever you can and get in the zone. I made some ridiculous noises when giving birth (mainly during the pushing phase) but it all involved going with the breathe out. No one will care how you sound or look, the midwives have heard it all before. I hope all goes well for you.

Good luck OP, please see medical help though. No one will judge you xx

Please tell someone. Your mum. Or your friends mum. It won't be as bad as you think it will and they'll get over the shock very quickly and move onto more practical matters.

I know you've been trying to hope it will just go away but you could go into labour any minute if your dates are right. Please don't be scared of that, you will be absolutely fine. But you need to be somewhere safe with a midwife.

You'll get through this but please just send a text to your mum or an adult you trust. "I'm pregnant and I'm scared and I am around 40 weeks, please don't be angry and help me" should do it xx

And at this late stage I wouldn't bother calling the gp as there might be a long wait for an appointment. Just walk in to the women's unit at your local hospital and they will take care of you

Op, please tell someone, an adult.

Many things can go wrong during birth you need to keep yourself and baby safe.

I know you are scared but giving birth can be wonderful and you will feel so much better having told someone and received some help, the midwives will make sure they do whatever they can for you even at this late stage- good luck.

I hope you get the support you need.