Hello all the amazing mommies
I had an episiotomy done, also a third degree tear with anterior vaginal wall tearing.
also a week before delivery i got a hemorrhoid down there in my asshole.
the delivery was hard enough and for freaking 9 months I was hoping that after the pregnancy everything would be so much better and normal. but i guess it got more difficult and more painful.
My tear got stitched but since it wasn't stitched well after sometime the knot was poking my hemorrhoid. And when I talked to doctor he checked and said cant get it fixed cuz the knot might go and might have to stitch again. So I was there when I walk the knot keeps poking the hemorrhoid which was so painful but had to deal with that. and after like a week the stitches dissolved but the wound was left open which was a tear which went down up-to almost my asshole.
I went to another Island for an emergency delivery and came back to my island after a week.
Since I live in a small island and it was kinda stormy with huge waves couldn't go to a good hospital in another island to get restitched. also bcuz It was so painful that I couldn't sit for at least 2 months time. at the time the wound was infected as well. so the doctor in the island gave me antibiotics and i went to clean and dress the stitch for more than a month and it got better. but since didn't get restitched the tear healed open.
so its like my vagina is down up to my asshole.
we didn't have sex for more than 7 months and then when we tried it was painful af. the tear was healed but it keeps hurting. now my son is 9months and still never good sex. it hurts and it's painful. But I do want to get close even though we cant have sex cuz it is painful. I think for some reason my opening is smaller as well after birth.
moreover my hemorrhoid has sunken down very much cuz i used herbal medicine but its there and sometimes it hurts and bleeds when I poo.
it feels like i recovered from pain yesterday. Sex is never good and I feel like my DH are getting complicated. just does not feel the same .
And the sad part is I cannot stop thinking about it, I don't feel good, It looks like a mess down there.
also im scared to do any operation anytime soon cuz the pain is horrific and i am not ready to go through anymore pain.
Why do you guys think I still cant have good sex or any sex most of the time after even 9 months?