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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Siblings present at New babies birth

9 replies

bryanyryany · 23/05/2018 20:07

Hi,

I'm planning to have a Home water birth with my 2nd baby, due in August.

My daughter is 4 and I'm just wondering if anyone has experience, good or bad, of the older sibling being in the house when the new baby arrives?

Thanks,

OP posts:

Orangedaisy · 23/05/2018 20:10

Unplanned fast home birth here. DD1 was nearly 3 and fast asleep in the room next to where I gave birth. Nothing like a small child asleep in the house to make you give birth quietly! My mum happened to be there as well as DP so she would’ve dealt with DD1 if she’d woken up. Good luck.

Original poster

bryanyryany · 23/05/2018 20:16

Thanks Orangedaisy.

My mum has agreed to be around and take my daughter out if need be so hopefully it will go similarly to yours.

Fingers crossed!

OP posts:

PlayingForKittens · 23/05/2018 20:24

I laboured at night, all dc born between 5 and 6 am and older siblings slept through and came down in the morning to find the baby. Ds1 was so unimpressed with dd that he came down, had a bowl of cereal and went back to bed! When ds2 was born he and dd crept down after waking to the sound of the birth cry and saw him all shiny and new and snuggled in skin to skin while waiting for the placenta. Then ds1 got a guided tour of the placenta when it came because he was interested.

I had a few good friends who were happy to be on call overnight if anything happened.

keepingbees · 23/05/2018 20:24

I have, planned homebirth which happened during the night. Im quiet in labour so wasn't too worried. My dd who was a toddler slept through it, but my ds who was 7 knew something was going on and kept getting up. My mum came round though and she kept going up to him and eventually stayed upstairs with him. It would have been very difficult without her there to be honest.

sycamore54321 · 24/05/2018 00:34

Are you asking about being in the house or being at the actual birth? Because I don't think the latter is appropriate. Meeting the new baby very shortly after it is born is of course fine as long as there is somebody dedicated to caring for your older child throughout. Having your child see you in pain and not in control is something I don't think appropriate. And in the event of emergency like a PPH or a baby needing recussitation, it could be traumatising to the older child who would be aware of the emotions of the room but wouldn't have the capacity to process it.

Dreamingofkfc · 24/05/2018 05:53

Sycamore54321 - not everyone is out of control and showing they are in pain. I'm sure the OP has thought about that, considering she's planning a HB. Plus the risk of PPH and resus are less likely with a low risk pregnancy.

I hope my two will be asleep during this labour, if they are awake the 4 year old said he wants to be there but I suspect he will pop in and out. Last time he saw me in the pool and wasn't that bothered, just wanted his toast so dad went to get it. My MIL then took him out so partner could focus on me.

Theworldisfullofgs · 24/05/2018 05:55

Mine slept through the whole thing. Intended that she went to be with her uncle and in the end decided not to wake her up.

Original poster

bryanyryany · 24/05/2018 08:30

Thanks everyone. All sounds pretty positive which is what I was hoping for.

I don't particularly 'want' my daughter AT the birth. I laboured really calmly and was pretty quiet with my first. And I'm doing hypnobirthing this time so hoping this labour will be just as calm and quiet if not more.

My partner will obviously be with me but just didn't know whether to make it that my mum took my daughter completely out of the house or just have her around in case my daughter woke or needed entertaining/tending too. My daughters been pretty fascinated by the science behind a growing baby so thought it would be nice for her to pop in and out of the room I'm in if she wanted too.

OP posts:

mayhew · 02/06/2018 21:36

When I was a home birth midwife, I had no concerns about children in the house. I advised mothers to have a specific adult who would attend to the childrens needs, including taking them out of earshot if necessary.

I remember a brilliant lone parent having her 5th. There was a poster on the wall giving kids this information.
"When mummy is having the baby, she needs to be left in peace to concentrate. You can be in the room if you are quiet as a mouse. You can also watch TV upstairs. I will let you know as soon as the baby is here".

On D day, eldest boy, 18, shot off to mates house. Eldest girl, 15, was a great doula. Younger 2, age 7 and 4, took the TV option.

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