Support in labour with no birthing partner

[Raccoonsatemyscones]

Briefly, I'm in the situation where I'm may not be able to have my chosen birthing partner with me. My pregnancy is deemed high risk after previous child loss and am wondering whether support may be of use to me. Is there any support available in these situations? Unfortunately I cannot afford a doula. I know I should ask my midwife but I know her personally and don't really want to discuss parts of my private life with her if I don't have to.

Alternatively has anyone got experience of labouring alone, how was it?

Do you have a friend or family member you would be comfortable with? I went through three different midwives during my labour as I was in for a while and all of them were so lovely and caring that I would have been happy to be on my own with all of them.

Sadly no friends and the only family member I could have would need to look after my other child. I'm sure I could manage but it just feels a little scary going it alone when I wasn't expecting it. To be honest, there is no reason I couldn't have done any of my previous births alone so this should be no different. I suppose in the back of my mind I'm worrying about something going wrong again and not having the emotional support afterwards.

Maybe you could look up some doulas near you and ask if any of them offer reduced rates for people on a low income with a particular need for their services?

I know a doula who supported someone for free - I'm not saying they will all do it but you never know.

If you just have the midwife, though, you will be ok. And maybe you could contact Home Start to ask if they can set you up with a volunteer to support you after the birth?

Sorry I don’t have experience of labouring alone (will probably be in this position myself in March though) but if a doula isn’t an option , there will probably be a mentored doula in the area . They charge usually £200-250 rather than the usual £1000 for a doula and most will accept payment plans . There’s also the doula access fund that you could apply for .

Can you say whereabouts you are op?

I'd rather not say whereabouts if it's all the same. I'm not likely to have the money to pay a doula even if it were by payment plan or the mentored doula as I've been unexpectedly left with all sorts of bills to cover and not actual income at the moment!

I'll look into the homestart option though and see if they can help, thank you.

Where I live there is a Volunteer Doula service, I know there's a few areas where these projects operate. The doulas are trained to provide support to women such as yourself who may not have anyone else. It's worth looking into!

If you need advice/help with your financial situation, Citizens Advice are great. They can tell you what benefits you're entitled to and how to apply. They can also advise on managing/cutting down bills as well as negotiating with creditors if you have any debts.

Do check out the Doula Access Fund and/or the Volunteer Doula service that PPs have mentioned - either of those would enable you to get a doula at no cost to yourself

I had a doula who was in training (it was not UK though). Didn’t charge and it was a hood experience. Good luck with everything!

Said it before on here, but I had ds1 alone (with midwifes, who changed shift during, and doc at end.)

I'd told my other half to go home as he was grumpy and hung over (and probably fearful).

Felt I'd do better on my own and did.

Midwives were lovely, music was playing, I was focused on task in hand! Obviously also hard work and painful at times, but ok on my own.

So just to say - can be done. Obv a straightforward birth and I was fortunate, but feasible.

Best of luck op.

No worries op.I was just going to see if I could be any help.Paediatric/Neonatal nurse though now work in different area of nursing. I had my 2nd son via elective section without dp there as he looked after ds1. Slightly different I know to natural birth and i had support after etc.Hopefully some of the suggestions on here will be useful.

Thank you, I appreciate it. It may well be that I have to have a section again, am hoping not as I don't fancy the recovery whilst looking after a toddler and a newborn!

I think the trouble is that my situation could change at any moment so it's hard to make a plan(I suppose that's true of any pregnancy though) I had to have my last baby a month earlier than planned after everything seemed to be going well with the pregnancy. I don't know whether I will get to go into labour naturally/be induced or have a section, it all depends on my scans and tests. This is making me think it may just be easier to do it alone as my brain is at saturation point and it's just another thing to have to discuss and organise if I get someone in.

Thanks for the advice/positive messages.