Two 3rd degree tears - anyone else in this boat?

[Chemistria]

I had my son 3 years ago and had a third degree tear and episiotomy. Think it was a 3b.

It was very painful for months afterwards. I didn't notice any long lasting effects apart from being sore inside when I got my period. I'm in a relationship with a woman so hardly ever do penetrative stuff if ever anymore as I'm scared it would hurt.

I recently gave birth to baby #2, even though she was much smaller, I got another 3rd degree tear all along where the first one happened.

Being completely honest, only because they told me I had one, I wouldn't have known. I had no pain at all, and she's 10 weeks old now. Still doesn't hurt and is just as tender as it always was.

I do notice if I need to go to the toilet I have to go pretty fast, but I can't remember if it was always like that .....

I'm doing pelvic floor exercises every day and have a follow up physio apt next week.

I have a few questions:

Have any of you had two 3rd degrees?

Did you have any more children afterwards?

Did you notice any change in bowel habits?

Did pelvic floor correct any issues?

I would love to have another child one day, and am one of those weird people who absolutely love giving birth , I had plans to become a surrogate before I got the other 3rd degree :,-( X

Hi OP, one severe tear can be enough to cause pelvic floor dysfunction. Both or either urinary and faecal incontinence are much more likely after these tears.
Glad you're seeing a physio soon. They'll go through what you need to do to improve the condition of your muscles.
5/6 daily repetitions definitely. If you need to rush before opening your bowels they can teach you the "knack" so you get a little more time to go.
For painful penetrative sex massaging can really make a difference. The physio can go through how to find trigger points and how to massage them and for how long. You might have excessive scar tissue. If that's the case and massaging helps but not enough they may suggest surgery (Fenton procedure) to remove some of the scar tissue.
Expect physio every other week for now. It should ease up as the months go by. At 9 months I still had bowel urgency. I'm OK now. It takes a long time to rebuild the muscles.

I believe Obstetricians will now recommend ELCS if you would like more children.
You can try the Facebook page called 3rd and 4th Degree (or severe episiotomy) Tear Support. There may well be someone there who has been in the same position you're in.

Congratulations on your little one! 10 weeks old... You're in the thick of it! Zzz...