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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Toddler visiting hospital after birth

31 replies

Laineymc7 · 20/01/2017 13:15

Hi, I was wondering what your experience was of your toddler visiting you when you had your next babies? I'm going in for a section in a weeks time and have childcare is place for my dd age 20 months. I'm wondering if I should allow my MIL to bring her to hospital to see me. I think she won't notice I'm gone as her auntie has also taken the day off work and have fun things planned for her for the two days I'll be in. My DH will also make sure he's around for bedtime. I'm worried it will upset her seeing me in hospital and then her having to leave and me staying there. Do you think it's best just to wait and she can meet her new brother or sister when I'm home?

OP posts:
sycamore54321 · 20/01/2017 15:39

Not a section but I did have my 2 year old visit me in hospital the day before I came home with the baby. I made sure the baby was in his bassinet and I was free for cuddles and attention when he arrived. One useful thing was we took a photo of him with the baby and my husband printed it out and they talked about it a lot that evening at home as a way to prepare him. No idea whether it helped or not but he has adapted wonderfully well, far better than we expected

toffeeboffin · 20/01/2017 15:42

I had a section two weeks ago.

DH brought 3 year old DS to see me and DD in the hospital, they stayed for around an hour. I only stayed in for two nights, think DS was a bit bamboozled I wasn't at home but he coped fine.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 20/01/2017 15:43

I had to stay in a little longer than you and dh brought my dd in to see me and the new baby. She loved the visit and was very excited. She was a bit sad that I couldn't come home with them but nothing major. It was a real highlight for me, too, to see her. It can be a bit boring in hospital.

Frazzled2207 · 20/01/2017 16:00

Not a section but my parents brought in my dc1 to meet dc2 about 12 hours after he was born.
He was 21 months at the time. They didn't stay long. It was fine. They then took him back to theirs for 2 days to spoil him rotten and give me, dh and dc2 some space.

ImperialBlether · 20/01/2017 16:12

My daughter (aged 2.5) came to visit me when I had her brother (not a section) - she was all prepared with a teddy for her brother and some flowers for me which she'd chosen. She loved having her photo taken with him and the nurses made a fuss of her.

Best of luck! It's a really special time when the two siblings meet.

Original poster
Laineymc7 · 20/01/2017 17:49

Ah thank you all. That's really positive. Maybe I will get DH to bring her down to the hospital once I'm feeling up to it. That's a brilliant idea about bringing a toy/present and having a photo taken for her to talk about after.. We will try that. I just wanted to make sure she's happy and not upset her by the hospital and new baby. She's still a little young to understand everything and why I can't come with her. I was also worried if I was in the bed I'd struggle to hold and cuddle her. I'm probably over thinking things.

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Crumbs1 · 20/01/2017 17:51

Mine always came even if I was only there a couple of hours. I thought it important they were first to meet new baby. We always had presents for them from the new baby.

BikeRunSki · 20/01/2017 17:56

DS was 3 a month before DD was born. He got a doctor kit and dressing up for his birthday. He came to see me the DD the second day we were in, all dressed up in his kit. The MWs were fab and talked "doctor" to him. As it happened my surgeon was on the ward and he explained to DS what he'd done to me, and really emphasised the importance of being a big brother and looking after his baby sister. DS loved it and I think it really helped him bond with DD.

YY to making sure you are "hands free" when the older child visits. And to sending photos home.

ElspethFlashman · 20/01/2017 17:58

Just a word of caution. If you're in a private room, great. But for my last birth I was in a 6 bed postnatal ward afterwards and there was a bored toddler in there for a visit (that went entirely over his head) and he started roaming around and shouting at Daddy etc and I was just back from a hard lengthy labour and I really found it hard.

He wasn't doing anything wrong - I was just too exhausted to have a toddler essentially in the room with me. Every shriek went right through my head. I was praying for them to go.

ChristmasAccountant · 20/01/2017 18:01

I had a section at 9am, my mum then brought ds3 in at afternoon visiting so around 3pm. I couldn't get out of bed and they only stayed half hour but it was lovely to see him. Baby bought him some presents so he happily sat and opened them. Was a bit upset at leaving but nothing major.

Stopyourhavering · 20/01/2017 18:02

My dd was nearl 3 when her little sister was born (ELCS)and came to visit me and her baby sister in hospital
I'd made sure I had a present with me in hospital for baby sister to give to her big sister ( a basket with 101dalmatian soft toys! she was obsessed with film at the time)
She was so excited to see her baby sister but only stayed 1 hr , got bored and wanted to get home to see gran!!
They're now 23 and 20 and get on well , however for several yrs in their teens barely spoke to one another, despite being v close as pre teens!

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt · 20/01/2017 18:06

My ds visited my lo the day after the birth.

A tip someone gave me that worked with us, was to have you and older child "find" baby together. So, Dh rang me to say they were there, I met them in the corridor and then me and ds walked to the bassinet thing together. I didn't want my 4yo meeting new lo in my arms.

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt · 20/01/2017 18:07

New baby also bought older brother a present.

Original poster
Laineymc7 · 20/01/2017 19:24

Thanks all. I don't have a private room. I can request one on the day but there are no guarantees. I think a very short visit would be ok so I don't disturb any other mums in the ward. I guess I can just judge how things are when I'm there. I think it would be lovely though if she could be one of the first to meet her sibling.

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stressbucket1 · 20/01/2017 19:29

My DD1 was just 2 when DD2 was born. I had a planned section and decided not to have DD1 visit me in hospital. I was worried about getting upset myself when she had to go! I was only in for 2 nights and was home to put her to bed the third night. She went to nursery and grandparents and DH went home to put her to bed as normal each night. It worked well for us

BackforGood · 20/01/2017 21:42

dc 1 came to have a nose at dc2, and dcs 1 and 2 came to have a nose at dc3 - I felt that was really important that they had seen me, seen the new baby, and had something concrete to talk about.

CointreauVersial · 20/01/2017 21:47

My three are each 2 years apart, and each time the older one(s) came into hospital to see the new arrival.

No upset at all; I think it largely went over their heads. There was a brief pat on the head for their new sibling, lots of mummy cuddles, then off they went with granny/daddy. There was certainly no awareness of me being "in hospital". It was lovely introducing them for the first time.

Timeforausernamechange · 20/01/2017 21:50

Just make sure you put a pillow over your wound before your little ones comes! The physio warned me to do this but of course I forgot. My 2 year old Dd kicked me by accident climbing on the bed for a cuddle and it was unbelievably painful. It really upset her too.

Apart from that make sure the new baby is in the cot when your toddler arrives and that they get lots of fuss. We did a present from the baby. But we didn't need to DD was besotted with her DB right from the start!

sj257 · 21/01/2017 05:54

It's a long time ago now so I can't remember exactly how my daughter reacted, she was 17 months, had her brother at lunchtime, think my mum brought her to visit that evening and we came home next day and she came with my mum to pick us up. I can't remember her getting upset x

SallyInSweden · 21/01/2017 06:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Loraline · 21/01/2017 06:47

It's one of my earliest memories too - going to the hospital to meet my sister.

I'm really sorry we weren't able to do it when ds2 was born but ds1 had a raging temperature so was snuggled up at home and we obviously weren't going to bring him in to meet a newborn. Fortunately I was only in for one night though so they met the next day.

Original poster
Laineymc7 · 21/01/2017 08:33

Thanks everyone seems like at majority of you let the little ones come to the hospital. I think I probably will as it's a special time. Maybe the day after the op all being well. X

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SaorAlbaGuBrath · 21/01/2017 08:36

DD came to the hospital after DS2 was born (she was 11 months old), DS1 obviously came too but he was older, so understood what was happening. We made up wee toy bags with things to keep them happy from their new brother, and she was able to see the wee one and me.

flumpybear · 21/01/2017 08:40

DD was 3.5 years when DS was born. Also had sections. DD came in that evening and was THRILLED to be a big sister, we've got a wonderful picture of her absolutely beaming sat with daddy and DS in the hospital chair - she went to bed every night for days, waking every morning telling daddy 'I'm a BIG SISTER !!' She was sssssoooooo proud!!!
So yes!! I would!! (I was in Tuesday-Saturday by the way so quite s king time as DS had minor issues )

silverfishlondon · 21/01/2017 15:47

I had section and had to stay 5 days and lucky to get own room. 22 month old visited day 3. Had seen photos of baby and very excited to prod baby and try and 'give' her things. I loved seeing her too. Would just advise keep it short.. However exciting new sibling is it wasnt long before she went to play in the shower, ect.. Can only imagine thats more trying on a ward than private room