First timer - what do we need to plan first?

[ThePartyArtist]

I'm in my first month of pregnancy. Being a natural planner I have stocked up on all the books and am reading them non stop. DH is a bit more relaxed, not sure it feels totally real to him yet (or to me!) There is so much info to absorb, can anyone tell me what I actually need to think about / plan first? For example:

Plans for sorting out maternity leave with work.
Plans for how to divide our maternity / paternity leave.
Choosing where to have the baby.
Childcare for when I return to work (a friend told me her health visitor told her to think about this when she was only midway through the pregnancy!)
Decisions about things we may need to have an answer to - e.g. do we want to know the sex etc.

My head is just buzzing with all the things we need to think about (in a good way!)

I think pregnancy and childbirth/child-rearing is one area of life where it's helpful to go with the flow. Babies haven't read the manuals so it's good to follow their lead!

I spoke to work after 12 week scan. You can choose to learn the sex at 20 week scan, you might make the decision on the spot whether or not to find out.

Regarding delivery, it depends what's available locally. I would go for nearest hospital, unless there's a midwife led unit at a slightly more distant hospital (although there's no guarantee you'll be able to use it).

There's no harm in checking out nurseries/childminders although you're talking about possibly 18 months in the future so they won't know their plans, yet.

Congratulations! Relax and enjoy it!

Presumably you've made contact with the midwife team (however it works locally) and got a booking in appointment lined up? Other than that, there's no rush to think about anything else for a little while.

One thing to add to your list would be to do a review of your finances to check how that would all work once you're on mat leave. Also do either of your workplaces do childcare vouchers to put towards childcare costs?

Congratulations OP!

Some really good advice here from Yoko. It's hard, as a natural planner, to go with the flow. But I think when it comes to things like birthing plans it does help to keep a little flexibility. It's great to have goals and preferences, and you'll probably talk through those with your midwife at your booking in appointment, but understand that baby may have different ideas. A friend of mine is a planner, like you, and found it very hard when things didn't go to plan. They didn't go wrong, just different to how she expected them to go. Try to keep a bit of an open mind and you won't feel disappointed if things go a bit off piste later.

Your midwife should give you the options for where to give birth at your booking appointment. It might be worth looking into the different options if you are close to more than one hospital. I didn't tell work until 19 weeks but that may depend on how you are feeling. I looked into childcare very early on as I knew I was only having 4-5 months off and the nurseries round here have waiting lists of over a year. I booked DS in when I was 20 weeks pregnant.