2nd timer - easier? prep - epino &/or perineal massage?

[MindfulBear]

Had DC1 4 years ago.
Pre eclampsia. Induced at 40w. Vaginal delivery. back to back labour. 2nd degree tear......

Anyone had a better time round 2nd time?! Did you prepare yourself by using an epino or doing perineal massage?

Any tips for making 2nd time round easier / less damaging?!

I had a similar age gap between DC1 and 2, and DC1 was also back to back, having contractions for days, resulting in an episiotomy and a forceps delivery. Not exactly what I'd been hoping for!

DC2 was exactly the opposite, perfect presentation, from first twinge to popping out was about 15 hours (with the minimum of fuss - well, except for getting stuck in traffic on the way to the hospital!), I even got to have the water birth I'd hoped for first time around

I didn't do anything different in preparation for either, no massage or anything. The only difference was the lengths I went to to get labour started second time round (none of which worked, she took her own sweet time).

What did help though was speaking to my midwife about some of the difficulties I'd had last time (specifically in my case issues with the stitches) and getting her to put a note on my file for the hospital midwives to see, as I didn't want to have to go into long explanations in between contractions.

This is only anecdata, but I hope it's a little reassuring at least. Best wishes for your upcoming delivery, hope it goes as smoothly as possible

Thank you. That is very helpful. I also had problems with stitches and scar tissue so will have a chat with the MW about my file.

Yes me! 1st labour was awful. Induced at 39 weeks. DS not ready at all, back to back, slow v painful labour, drip, epidural, theatre, spinal, episiotomy and forceps. We were both quite poorly after and had to stay in a week. 2nd time I went to be induced at 38 weeks and I was 7cm dilated ! I'd had a bit of back ache but no contractions. They broke my waters and DD was born 2hrs 38mins later. It was v fast and intense but felt like my body knew exactly what to do. If I could guarantee that again I'd consider a 3rd! I've heard lots of people have an easier birth 2nd time.

One thing I did do differently was write a frank/honest birth plan. The first time I copied a template and it was too generic looking back.

Me! DC1 was back to back, 24hr labour, episiotomy,forceps.

DC2 popped out in the birthing pool with no pain relief, barely an hour after we arrived at the hospital. Had a second degree tear, but was nothing compared to my first horrendous labour. I didn't even feel the tearing!

No preparation,just pure luck. Hope it goes the same way for you, OP.

I did perineal massage for both of mine on the advice of my amazing cmw. Both back to back and I didn't tear though I did have 'a nasty graze' second time round.

Due in 2 weeks with DC2 and following with interest. First birth wasn't complicated but I did have a 2nd degree tear. I think it's too late for me for massage/epino now but I tried the massage first time round and found it too painful.

I can't stand the massage either but we have big heads in this family so am thinking I might have to try it again!
The Epi no helped with crowning (ie less scary) but obviously did not prevent the tear. Probably through lack of time for the area to stretch - I was being shouted at to push when my body was telling me to go slower. Grrrr. Blardy NHS & it's clock watching vs tick boxing!

3rd degree tear/epis last time, 6lb baby!

Had DS2 2 weeks ago, he was born in water in about 3 pushes, small 2nd degree tear with a couple of stitches.

(Didn't do massage, just crossed fingers! Bigger baby 2nd time, 7lb14oz)

6lb baby and 3rd degree tear?! Wtf? What happened there?! You poor lady. Had no idea that could still happen with a smaller baby. Learn something new every day.

I'm not quite sure MB...

Basically, he was in distress and turned at the last minute; he sort of 'popped' out. If I hadn't had the episiotomy it could have been a lot worse.

I got a 2nd degree tear with a 6lb baby. Weight doesn't always indicate small in size ie head etc. My DD was skinny.