what to expect in a hospital birth

[epicmommy123]

hi everyone sorry if i don't know what i am doing i am new to the site

well i am a first time mother and i really would like to know what to expect during the birth like how long will i be in labor and how long will i be pushing before my baby girl is born them sort of things but on a side note will the fact me and the baby's father not being married matter like in the sense will he be able to sigh forms for our baby if i am unable to and so on

sorry for the long post but any help would be very helpful as i do not know what to expect and it is worrying me

How long is a piece of string? No one here will be able to advise you on the length of your labour unfortunately. It really is such an individual thing.

Have you done any antenatal classes? Or read any books?

It's very daunting giving birth so researching is a brilliant idea, but I would avoid asking individuals for their labour stories as it could potentially stress you for no reason, as every labour is different.

thank u Shadow1986 for replying and i know every labor is different but i want to know what the normal is and yes i have gone to antenatal classes and read lots of books

i was wondering if being unmarried will affect anything like consent forms and what not after she is born

He won't have parental responsibility unless he's on the birth certificate. For this to happen he needs to be on the birth certificate, and as you're unmarried he needs to go with you to register the birth. You have 6 weeks to do that after your baby arrives. Then he can sign consent forms etc in the same way you can.

There aren't any consent forms to sign regarding the baby in the early weeks IIRC.

so if i was unable to sign anything like say for treatment for my baby after birth he will not be able to as well

I had an almost identical labour to my mum and, when I discussed this with the midwife, she said that's often the case. Of course, you can't take that as a guarantee, but it might be an indication of how things MIGHT go

Good luck

The only thing i know about not being married is the baby will be known by your surname in hospital.

thank u for the advice ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout but i do not really want my birth to be like my mothers as she almost died having me

I don't really think you have to sign consent as such really these days?! My son was in hospital for his first 3 months and I don't really remember that part - the doctors called the shots and I was told what was happening.

oh so u do not sign anything like forms for operations and what not sorry for going on and on it is just it is my first time and i want to know what to expect and cover everything so i know what will happen and how to deal with it

I am married and my baby was known by my surname and not my husband's (and his) surname in the hospital so I think that's always the case. I definitely had to sign a form to have an emcs. In an emergency they would act in your and your baby's best interests as there probably wouldn't be time to get formal consent for stuff.

thank u Lules but i just want to make sure the father is not told he can not know what is going on cuz we are not married and that he is able to go with our baby girl if i cannot and make medical decision if the worst should happen and i am unconscious

I'm sure they would let him know. I doubt they'll even ask whether you are married or not. I know you are worried but it's really unlikely that you will be unconscious anyway. Can you talk these things through with your midwife so you can be a bit less anxious? I know it isn't easy especially if your mum had a hard time

i really should ask my midwife but it may be a bit to late for that as i am in early labor just waiting for the time to pass until we should go to the hospital so wanted to know as must as i can

My dp went to NICU with my son (without me) , and was addressed as his dad throughout. Anecdotal, but it's hardly an unusual situation nowadays.

really Theodolia so they will let him go with our girl even if we are not married and i cannot go with them

It was never even questioned when I was in x

well i thought i should keep people updated as i have been in early labor for about 5 hours now and i am just wondering at what point do i go to the hospital

When you are contracting 3-4:10 mins lasting 40-60 secs consistently for a good few hours. Contraction pain that takes your breath away. Early labour can be short but for first babies is often quite a while, anywhere from few hours to days.
If your waters break, fresh bleeding like a period, concerns re baby movements than call the hospital.
Try paracetamol at home, hot bath/shower, keep active. If contractions slow down try and rest.

He will be able to go with your baby girl if needed - with my ds he was transferred to the children's hosp down the road and my partner went with him and we aren't married. I'm not sure he if had to sign for consent when ds went to theatre so I'll ask and get back to you. There are too many people who have children that aren't married now for them to put restrictions like that in place I think.

Yes it's not an issue re not being married. They don't ask for consent in NNU for most procedures (much to my shock when my son was there, he had a lumbar puncture which of course I would have consented too but was upset I was never even asked). With regards to other things like vitamin k the midwife may have asked you in labour, you may have written it in your birth plan but otherwise they would ask your partner.

Hope all is going well for you

Ooh good luck! Let us know how it goes!

just though i should give u all an update as u have all been so nice in answering my questions well i had my baby girl early this morning and we are all ok it was an uncomplicated birth

Congratulations!