Sex after childbirth

[Junosmum]

this a post with waaay TMI. Forewarned is forearmed!

DS us 12 weeks. Forceps delivery, episiotomy.

Episiotomy has healed well but on the 2 occasions DH and I have had sex it's hurt, a lot. The second time (tonight) it hurt so much we had to stop. I don't think it's the episotomy scar- the pain is deep inside, on my vaginal wall. It isn't getting any better, though as I say, we've only done it twice.

The first time it hurt but the pain eased as we continued IYSWIM. The 2nd time the pain didn't improve and we had to stop.

Both times have resulted in some light bleeding/ pink discharge.

Following the birthing I've had significant incontinence and a slight rectal prolapse and I suspect a slight vaginal one too, I have a uro-gynae appointment in May. I don't think the two are related.

Is this kind of pain with sex normal? I'm already having major issues about sex post birth due to the delivery, incontinence and my body image without pain making the actual sex unpleasant too!

Hey sorry to hear you're going through such a time of it hun.

With DS1 I had forceps and episiotomy and it took over 4 mnths before sex stopped hurting. They said it was basically extensive internal bruising and it just takes time to heal and go down :-( try arnica tablets they can supposedly help with it.

Maybe in the mean time try just being naked together without the actual sex, try to get some intimacy and confidence back without the fear of painful sex? Big hugs x

It wasn't painful for me after a similar birth. However the NHS website suggests sex is extremely painful for 9 out of 10 women after episiotimy.. Yet they carry on doing this procedure.

I had an EMCS and sex is not pleasant yet. DD is nearly 9 weeks. I think for me it's a hormonal thing so will just have to keep trying.

Hiya!
Could be a number of things. Are you seeing a physio?
I'd start with your GP to rule out things like body-not-completely-healed-yet or infection. An episiotomy can take up to 6 months to heal.
You say you had major incontinence issues. Did you suffer a severe tear? You should really be seeing a physio.
Urogynae might be useful if you need surgery but physio is better placed for the rest. Your muscles might be tight and some physios can massage internally to release the tension. They would also check you fully relax your pelvic floor after doing your exercises.
They can also teach you how to do perineal massage to release scar tissue. They might teach you how to use dilators to help massage in a different way.

It's difficult to know what they'd recommend but I just thought I'd give you an idea of things they can offer.

If the problem requires surgery then the urogynae will know.

Hope this is useful.