If you had a doula at your birth...

[lynholmerpark]

What role did you expect them (your doula) to take, compared to what role you expected your midwife to?

I ask this out of professional curiosity.

She was there the whole entire 35 hours and slept on our floor when we were sent home for the fifth time the final night

Never left my side unlike midwives over shifts

Cleaned up after me threw my amniotic fluid soaked pads out massaged me left me alone if I so wanted went and got me food

Helped me make my point to midwives regarding what I wanted

Got snacks for DH

Was an absolute treasure. DH and I are indebted.

Sounds like you had an amazing and very supportive doula Focusfocus

Came immediately even though I wasn't sure I was in labour. Was wonderfully calm, cool and funny. Was a calmjng presence to have around. Stayed the whole night with me, helped talk to the Mws for me. Held my hand, stroked my hair and when the really hard but came and I was really afraid, gave me this wonderful pep talk. She made me laugh when I was being stitched up and high on gas, she was my comrade in the bathroom when I couldn't wee. She cleaned me up, she reassured my husband, she cuddled my other children...I honestly could not have found a better woman to see me through. I had terrible birth experiences before but this was home birth and I am so grateful to her for helping facilitate that. My husband is wonderful when I am in labour but there is something about having a woman on your side during that can't be beaten.

Thanks for your insights RedCrab. Women supporters do often bring something very special to the dynamics of the birthing process.

Can I ask how much it costs to have a doula? I'd be interested in one for my second.

I would think it depends on longevity of support eg either throughout ante to postnatal period or just at birth and say BF support for a couple of days. Think there's a doula UK website that may give you a rough idea of what to expect.

After she finally got there (because the midwife told us not to call our doula initially god knows why we didn't just ignore her) she was actually there with me in the room, unlike the midwife who came in every 45 minutes to do observations in a very perfunctory way and then left again despite my entreaties to her to stay.

As a doula, my role is to support the mother. We are not medically trained, so we are not midwives, but we do witness birth many times, and I have learnt so much about birth by just watching and asking questions. We are there to emotionally support the mum and dad. I would do 2 antenatal sessions with the parents before the birth and then go on call from 38 weeks until the birth (I am available 24/7). I come to support the Mum once she is in labour, and stay with her until after the birth, and until she is happy breastfeeding. I then go back to see them for 2 postnatal visits. Often midwives are over worked and juggling more than one birth at a time. I help with the continuity as I never leave Mums side, and often the midwives will leave the room and ask me to call them if anything changes. I help the mum to stay calm, I keep the midwives quiet, and help to ensure mum gets the birth she wants, as much as possible.