How long in hospital?

[pooter]

Hi, Im expecting my first child in Jan, and the thing im most worried about, isnt the birth, oddly enough, but having to stay overnight in hospital without my husband, and him not being able to come and see me apart from at prescribed visiting hours. Im not scared of hospitals (well, i didnt think i was!) but the thought of not having my husband with me is really upsetting me, to the point where im planning my escape already! My SIL (nurse) says im being daft, and i will welcome a sleep, but i just want to pop him/her out (ha - ignorance is bliss ) and whizz off home. Any words of wisdom?

Hi Pooter, I didn't want to stop in hospital so had DD at home, is that an option - if not you can usually get signed out fairly quickly, just let the MWs know.
PS I had DD downstairs, waddled up stairs to bed, delivered pthe lacenta then got in my own lovely bath whilst DH sat gazing adoringly at DD on the landing and the MW did her paperwork. We then all got into bed together for a lovely cuddle.

Is it possible for you to do a homebirth?

Could you arrange for your husband to come whenever he wanted?

My hospital has official visiting hours 1-8pm (partners can come whenever though) but that is mainly because the morning is when doctors do their rounds, and things are crazier. But anyone can come at any time for maternity patients.

Oops the placenta, by the way the MW did not get into bed for cuddle just me, DH and DD .

if all is well....you can be discharged fairly quickly.....maybe 6 - 12 hours after the birth.....certainly a home birth is worth considering....or maybe can you go to a birth centre, which might be a bit more family friendly and allow DH to stay with you?

pooter, I felt exactly the same! I found it awful that dh and I were separated...however hospitals aren't big enough or secure enough to have partners staying 24 hours and I had to accept this. But it was an issue for me. I had a very traumatic labour and birth in the end and on the night I gave birth I was back on the ward at about 1am in the morning and my mum and DH were there, with me lobbying like made for them to stay there with me for just a bit longer!

Looking back I was selfish - they were EXHAUSTED as none of us had really slept for 3 days but in that state, I was only thinking of myself and would have had them sitting on uncomfortable hospital chairs all night next to me!

Just make a deal with yourself now that you'll remember that it's good for DH to have a night's sleep; he can come in the next day and be ready to help you and support you. (I made DH promise to come each day on the minute they opened up to visitors!)

Good luck btw!

oh and of course, should add that you may well be able to go home the same day if all well, and don't some midwife led places allow partners???

Thanks everyone Having thought about it, you are right - my husband deserves his last night of unbroken sleep. Homebirth isnt really on the cards as we are moving house and i have no idea if it will be habitable by that time (yes i do realise this is crazy timing!) Im pretty sure im worrying over nothing. After all, if im going to be a mum (yikes!) im going to have to toughen up.

lol imagining midwife in bed for cuddle!!

If you are in a big, huge hospital with babies evertwhere I would get home asap unless you are in a private room.

If you are in a small cottage hospital then I would stay in as long as you can as they are usually quieter and you get more one to one.

I stayed in 2 weeks with my 1st due to health problems and it was like a holiday and I stayed a week with my 2nd.. It's great to have the time to bond with your LO. If you are going to b/f you are in the right place for help and advice and to get it established. The visiting houers are great cos you don't get all and sundry calling at all hours and you get all the rest you need. Your husband will have longer visiting hours than others and if it's anything like my maternity hospital then as long as you weren't bothering anyone else then they were more lax at chucking them out. You get fed 3 times a day, you don't have to worry about housework and the the time you get to bond with the baby is invaluble.
Also my DH carried on working while I was in hospital and then took his paternity leave when I got home so I had longer with support which was great.