Alternative to VE to check dilation

[mooma3]

Exactly that really.
How can they tell how far along you are - if it is ok to push etc if they don't do an internal?
I hate them and they are so painful when in labour .....
Would like to avoid one this time if possible

Do they let you not have one?

Thank you

You don't HAVE to have anything! It's your consent whether you want someone's hands up your vagina.

My (hands off homebirth team) midwife is happy not to do them & be guided by external signs.

Just decline any VE's! You do not HAVE to have any

Whnpen i was og with ds, i told my mw that i didnt want them and she said fine. I had a homebirth so we discussed it before hand, but just put it in your birth plan.

You apparently get a line up between your bum cheeks as you dilate, the higher the line the more you are dilated.

You completely know when you need to oush as your body switches pace. Hard to describe but when i was in labour, i was hyonobirthing and the 20/20 breathing you use during labour just stopped working and i had to switch to J breathing - pushing basically.

Dont worry, allow your body to do it thing! You defo do not need someones fingers stuck up you fanny to know when to push!!

Yes, with my last birth (DC2 at home), the midwife could tell I was ready to push because my breathing & sounds changed.

Thanks.

I know these things but with my first and 2nd i had strong urges to push and was told not to and had VE with both and with bot got the the hospital at about 9 or 10 cmd.
i still don't know why i was told not to push and esp with my first i had to go against everything my body was trying to do to not push. i was so hard and difficult to not push when everything in your body is making you.

I am having a home water birth this time and want to know how else they will determine if it is pushing time aside from my say so if other times they didn't listen to that???

Possibly because the midwives who attend HBs may have a different attitude (perspective) to those who attend hospital births.

BTW I had no or minimal VEs written into my birth plans for dc2 and 3. with dc2 I had only one, and the midwife asked my permission and I knew and trusted her. I had no VEs at all with my dc3's hospital water birth. In fact several times during dc3's birth I refused to cooperate with the mw, preferring to follow my instincts, and she accepted it.

Guess will just have to talk to these midwives and see what they say -( we live somewhere new this time around)

The others did ask and it was only once with each baby but i hated it each time - so invasive and painful.

want to just be left alone to do my thing without people fiddling with me!

Many hb mw's actively avoid internals. My birth place said none unless they thought one of us was in danger.

They don't need a number. If your body is pushing they should go with it unless there is some other worrying sign to say something is amiss.

The second time my body just pushed completely involuntarily and very forcefully. There was absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent it. I didn't actively push apart from a tiny one to free her shoulders
The mw asked me if she could do a VE at this point (I'm now thinking she must have been really stupid as only a moron couldn't tell what was happening) and I refused to get out the pool as I could feel her about to crown but couldn't tell them that as I was too in the zone so just kept shaking my head and saying &&@£ off lol.