Are there any midwives out there?

[bigoldbird]

My lovely girl gave birth to my precious Grandson approximately 24 hours ago.

She has been lumbering round in the latent stage of labour for a week or more, then it all stepped up on Tuesday afternoon. She rang the birthing centre and they told her to go in. When she arrived it appeared to have faded away. The midwife there was very dismissive of her, told her there were no signs she was in labour and didn't even examine her.

A few hours later she was back in and gave birth to a proper wopper (9 pounds 8 ounces). She was torn to shreds and was blue lighted to the nearest big hospital (some 20 miles away) for a repair operation.

I know in my head that being taken seriously on the Tuesday afternoon and being admitted would have made no difference. But my heart feels differently and I am so, so, so angry with the way she was treated.

Can someone who knows what they are talking about give me some reassurance that she was treated properly.

Thank you.

Congratulations on your new grandchild!

I am so sorry to hear your daughter had such a hard time. I don't have any expertise to offer, but didn't want to read and run.

I would suggest to request a birth debrief with the consultant midwife. They will be able to answer a lot of your questions. Perhaps take it from there?

While you're at the hospital drop in with the local PALS office. Request a copy of her notes (she may have to give you permission to do this). PALS will be able to tell you what routes are available to your daughter. It doesn't always have to culminate in to a formal complaint.

The following website gives a good overview of the different ways of making a complaint, should you feel that's the right way forward:

www.birthrights.org.uk/library/factsheets/Making-a-Complaint.pdf

On a personal note - I really wish midwives would listen a bit better to mothers and ask questions looking at a bigger picture. With me it was also not recognised I was in labour, with disastrous consequences. And I was even IN hospital!

Thank you for your answers, I couldn't get back before because I have spent all day at the hospital again.

I think talking it over would really help actually, I don't want to make a complaint particularly, I just want to understand what happened, and from what they say, I think she and her partner do too.

I am sorry you too had a bad experience, I was so lucky with my labours and deliveries, I just expected she would be too.

I will forward the info on to her and she can decide what she wants to do.

The only good thing I can say, is that she was given a leaflet today with information concerning people she can talk to, at any point in the future. Particularly if she becomes pregnant again and this experience has made her fearful.

Off to bed now. Getting a decent nights sleep will help a lot I think.

Thank you again.

I agree, talking through things and understanding what happens was very important for me too. Birth is such an emotional experience, it's not a surprise it hits people hard when things don't go to plan. All the best.