Homebirth with older DC in a v. small flat?

[CityDweller]

I had a homebirth with DD and would like the same with DC2, due later this year. Thing is, we live in a very small flat (about 650 sq ft) with no family near by to come and whisk DD away once I go into labour. If it happens during that day it'll be ok (DD will either be at childminders or I have enough friends around that could take her if it's a weekend). But if it happens in the evening/ at night I'm not sure what we'd do. Flat is too small to have someone come and stay to keep an ear out for her while I give birth. We have two bedrooms and a small living space (which I'd give birth in) and that's it - it's all quite open plan too. She sleeps heavily, but is it risky to assume she'd sleep through all the kerfuffle involved in a homebirth? not least me shouting my head off, which is what I did last time

Anyone had a homebirth with older DC around in a small flat or similar?

hello had my second at home in a flat with the 3.5 yo DD with me and DH. fabulous experience for us all (she still talks about it and is now 16yo). 1st time labour was 15 hours, full on hospital, medical intervention, second time, calm home birth a bit of gas and air at the end and 2.5 hours. and he was 9 pounds. you never know how it's gonna be!

we prepped DD a lot - talking about it all and explaining that it hurt and that I'd make funny noises, and that it was OK. I ended up sitting on a birthing ball, doing 'row the boat' with her so I could rock back and forth , holding her hands. then we had competitions to see who could make funniest noises during contractions. It was a lovely distraction , kept me calm and added to the fun and experience of it all.

my best mate was on standby to come and be with her during labour just in case I needed to go to hospital or things got too tricky or took ages. In the end said mate arrived 15mins after the birth as it was so fast (the midwife got there 7 minutes beforehand....).

I don't think space is the issue really as people muck in, and whoever comes over to help at night most likely wouldn't sleep much anyway! what's a missed nights sleep to be part of something soooo amazing? most mates would be thrilled to be invited along and would happily perch on a cushion on the floor, I'm sure.

its making me emotional just thinking about it. It was the most amazing experience of my life. we have moved now, and when we walk past with 12 DS, we say 'you were born in there, in the bedroom' he likes that.

good luck!

I haven't done this so this could be a silly question but what happens if you need a Hospital transfer? Wouldn't someone need to stay with your DD?

A great story Ashbeee. Thing is, I really wouldn't want anyone around other than DH and mw (and DD, obviously, if she's here asleep at night). I know that would inhibit my ability to labour freely. So, having someone else come over during labour isn't an option for us.

Still we'd have neighbours and other local friends on call in case we had to transfer in the middle of the night and DD was asleep and we needed someone to come and babysit.

Hey op, I had my second baby at home in our spare bedroom which was right next to my son's bedroom. He slept through everything - including extremely loud filling of birth pool with taps on full blast, actual birth, and arrival of 5 x ambulance people (just because midwife didn't make it in time no actual emergency) plus then midwife. He did stir just as we were transferring to hospital for stitches but went promptly back again. We did have white noise on in his room but pretty sure it was quite loud even so!!!

I suppose at the end of the day if he had woken I didn't hate the idea of him being there, and I was a pretty solitary labourer so I didn't hate the idea of my DH attention being diverted. If either of those had filled me with dread I may have thought again?

He was 2y at the time. I love that he was there :)

I had a homebirth for DC2 a couple of weeks ago. Was amazing.

DD (2.5) is an awful sleeper and woke up during the pushing stage which was a bit distracting, DH went and shhhh-ed her back to sleep and missed the actual birth, but had two wonderfully supportive midwives so it wasn't the end of the world. She woke up again half an hour later but by that time the baby had arrived and DD could come and meet her new sister, it was a bit like Christmas morning.

I think if you don't mind your DH being distracted if she wakes up I wouldn't worry. The thing I wish I'd prepared more for was the next day. It's hard work trying to juggle a toddler and a newborn when you've been up in the night giving birth, so maybe worth having someone who can take her out for a treat the next day so you and your DH can catch up on sleep! Good luck, it really is a fabulous experience.

Sorry just saw you already had homebirth for DC1, so you know already!