absoluetely petrified of childbirth!

[Starlight9]

Hello..

I am approximately 12weeks pregnant.
First baby's labour was horrendous, all was fast, a very 'easy' labour (so my Mother likes to remind me) but I did not cope one bit with the pain! The cord was wrapped around baby's neck but I refused to push and kicked up a lot of fuss. Not Good. I had horrible nightmares for months afterwards and promised myself that I would never have another baby.
2 years later - I am pregnant again. I am petrified of having to go through childbirth!! But am trying to relax myself and 'just go with it'. The chances are that my labour will be over and done with fairly easy, my first labour only lasted a matter of hours at the most.

Does anybody have any tips and suggestions for dealing with labour pain? I know I probably sound like a complete baby but I do not want to be in the position again where my child is at risk and I am refusing to cooperate with the midwife.

Thank you for reading.

xxx

I dont know if I will help, but my two labours could not have been more different. Seriously. There is a strong possibility you will have a totally dofference experience this time round.

Have you thought about an epidural for the pain?

My secnd labour was too fast for me to use the pool but that was my plan, in the hope it would help with the pain. I ended up on my knees bent over the back of the bed with gas and air and not much time for anything else, but although the pain was baaaaad I was able to "rationalise" it - its a necessary pain, its one less pain before birth etc. Never would have been able to do that with my first.

I had an epidural with my first, which took me from crazy screaming lady to the most perfect patient imaginable. I couldn't believe that the pain could just stop. I was in a lot of pain before I was able to have an epidural though, and was moving around so much that they could not give me it until 9cm's. I guess I will just panic until the baby is here!

Epidural. Mine only worked partially, but even that made such a big difference to my horrible birth.

I also have nightmares about that birth and completely sympathise. Hope it goes ok for you!

My only advice would be try not to spend 9 months dreading something that is only going to last a matter of hours. I know that is easier said than done but I have been where you are, and that was what I took away from the experience once the baby was delivered: it was stupid of me to fear for so long something so short lived.

You need to look into things you can do to help combat the pain. Be open minded. Think about TENS and oral drugs as well as G&A and epidurals. Think water births, calming music, yoga, whatever else is current these days. Don't dismiss anything. If you try things, it helps you feel more empowered to handle the pain. I guess the bottom line is you could ask for an elective Caesarian if you really don't think you can face labour. It isn't something I would recommend, but whatever gets you through, eh?

Maybe my experiences can help to reassure you: I had a horrendous first labour as so many women do. The second labour is curiously erased from my memory. I know it wasn't as bad as the first but I really don't remember any details. Both those labours were in a hospital that did not offer routine epidurals so when I was pg with no3 and gave birth in a big London hospital, I asked for an epidural immediately in the hope of a pain free labour. But the epidural was misplaced and the wrong part of my body was numbed! Nevertheless, baby 3 was as easy a birth as you can imagine. It didn't stop me dreading birth no 4 though (yes! I carried on!) and that was the pregnancy I spent the whole 9 months in a state of panic and fear (not just the labour, also worried about the baby - all unfounded in the end). I entered the hospital in labour panicking and struggling to breathe I was in such a state of fear. In fact, I needed G&A just to control my breathing - not for pain relief at all. I actually managed my pain by lying in a hot bath (was too chicken to ask for the birthing pool) and my dh directing hot water from the showerhead onto my stomach during contractions. I would thoroughly recommend plain and simple hot water for pain relief. But as I said earlier, look into all the options and try and take control of what is happening to you rather than feeling - sorry if this is the wrong word - a victim of your pregnancy.

I was having an elective cesarean with a pregnancy last year (a baby who I unfortunately logs at 16 weeks) as I was being woken up having panic attacks in night etc.. But this pregnancy, I feel a lot calmer about it. I guess I'm glad to be pregnant and would do anything to ensure a healthy baby is the result of it so do not want a c-section.

I will take all of what you have all suggested on board :-) and find out all of my options this time.. I wasn't told much about what to expect with first so was probably just a little shocked at everything! I remember begging them to stop my labour ha ha, I have no idea why I thought that was possible...

Thank you again xx