Anyone else worried about childbirth?

[nataliekristin]

hi all!

I have been reading about childbirth probably too much and I have now completely terrified myself!! I'm nearly 20 weeks with my first and as every day gets closer I'm getting more nervous and scared about the actual process of getting the baby out

I am planning a vbac as I was never aware I could choose to have a c section. I'm not even sure they'd do it purely on the basis I have traumatised myself reading things... (mostly the injuries you can get from all the stretching and pushing down below - that has terrified me)

I don't know what to do now to remain calm when the time comes! anyone else in the same boat?

Stop reading stories! No one is thrilled about the prospect of labour and childbirth. Instead of reading stories, arm yourself with some skills for dealing with anxiety and with pain.

I'd recommend juju sundin birth skills book, and post natal hypnotherapy - I used elements of both during my labour. There will be other stronger advocates for both on here who I expect will post.

Remember that you don't hear about most birth stories because they are just 'painful but fine' rather than traumatic with long lasting problems.

Yes, to read too much can make you think that all women are walking around terribly damaged after a vaginal birth! I had a birth that started natural and waterbirth but ended up being instrumental (ventouse) in theater with about 10 medical staff and a spinal block, but honestly it was fine, it's not pleasant at the time but I healed really quickly. The pain after the birth was uncomfortable but not unbearable by any means, and I didn't have issues with weeing etc, Episiotomy scar healed in a fortnight. Not evceryone is the same, but I forgot about the labour as soon as DS came out and was happy and chilled on the ward cuddling DS and being cared for by the midwives. Good luck, I'm sure you will get through whatever birth throws at you!

I agree - stop reading! Had two vaginal births and didn't enjoy them much but I was relieved to be able to recover pretty quickly and have no scar (and I had tears and stitches both times but really not so bad, honest...).

I read jujus book also which i thought was fantastic..my baby is 3 months old (first child), and i was terrified of labour. dont read all the storys everybody is different.

My labour was a breeze straight forward and lasted 15 hours i pushed for 45 mins. i just took everything as it came the gas and air was so good that inbetween contractions i was having a laugh with the midwife and my partner. the midwife was shock i was so calm but i guess i was lucky you might be to. i had a second degree tear which healed in about 4 weeks and i wanr another one already.

just make a plan i slept through first cantractions, then i bounced on my gym ball, got a bath and then had some food. went into hosp and was 4 cm then once i got some gas and airni was so high the time flew in..the midwife broke my water and next i knew i needed to push, end off.

P.s. You can't have a vbac anyway. It means 'vaginal birth after Caesarian' so for women who have had a c-section with a previous pregnancy and decided to go for a vaginal delivery this time round .

P.p.s. Ask, very firmly, for an epidural early on if you're afraid of or not managing the pain...

Stop reading!
Request a section or epidural. There are no bravery awards given out, have whatever makes it less scary for you.

Haha woops thanks for correcting me beginnersahm!

thanks for all the replies everyone, I wanted to learn more about childbirth but I agree, now I just need to stop reading!!

I'll definitely look into juju and other similar methods

I gave birth a fortnight ago. I had a tear and stitches, and you know what - those are the things we're all scared of in advance, but they've been the least of my recovery issues. I've honestly barely thought about them at all.

The recovery thing that people don't really talk about is how absolutely physically zonked you are. Make sure you stay fit and active while pregnant! I did, but I still felt like I'd run a couple of marathons with no sleep in between! Took a week to stop aching!

You'll probably be surprised at how well you'll cope when the time comes. I'm a big wimp and don't deal well with pain and had what would possibly be classed as a mild horror story of a birth which ended with an EMCS.

If someone had told me beforehand how my labour/ delivery would be, I wouldn't have believed I could do it but at the time I just took everything in my stride and it didn't seem too bad at all.

Recovery nowhere near as bad as I thought either- just over a week in and apart from some mild discomfort occasionally, I feel fine. I have to remind myself not to do too much.

Echo what another poster said about epidural- i kept telling anyone who'd listen that it was my new "favourite thing in the world"

Dont read stories, read facts. I like the what to expect series. Also please learn from my mistake. Read up on first month with a baby. You may not have a chance to when LO arrives.

When i gave birth to ds i had a friend who was pg and was fixated on her perinium. It drove me mad. Childbirth is one day in your life. Your body will heal. The baby you get is for life.

I'm with ohthegoats on this one, Juju's books was a godsend and calmed me right down - as did going to pregnancy yoga

Like you I was terrified of birth (probably even more scared) and I'm a few days away from giving birth now....I'm not sure if it's the hormones or not but I feel truly calm about the birth and I am sure you will too

Another vote for a hypnobirthing. we did the Hypnobirthing classes (mongan method) and it was so reassuring, it totally changes your ideas of labour will be like, lots of videos of calm gentle births and lots of positive birth stories. I went into labour feeling confident and as calm as can be expected. I felt totally prepared to deal with the contractions and because of that, the pain was totally manageable. Listening to the Hypnobirthing CDs every night was a great way to stay relaxed and positive. Really, highly recommend it all.

On the other hand, if something like Hypnobirthing isn't for you, there are always drugs! Either way, you're going to be fine. What ever you do, stay away from One Born Every Minute. I'm pregnant with my second and it still scares the crap out of me, I've had to ban myself from watching it. I was living abroad with my first pregnancy and didn't know about it, so glad!

Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth is a wonderful (although slightly hippyish) read if you are scared - lots of really positive birth stories and explanation of birth physiology. I can't recommend it enough.

Ditto the natal hypnotherapy recommendations - I listened to the Pregnancy Relaxation and Birth Preparation CDs, plus the accompanying book is excellent too (I recently had my 2nd birth, it was absolutely awesome - DS2 was 9lb 15oz and I gave birth without pain relief )

No, I'm not, but I'm booked in for an ELCS. I think I'd be getting quite stressed by now otherwise (am 36+3). It's not a popular decision in some quarters (there's no medical reason for my CS and it's my first baby) but when I looked at the risks of VB versus the risks of ELCS, I decided I preferred the latter (which is not a call everyone would make). Plus I've had a horrible pregnancy (vomiting daily until quite recently, SPD etc) so getting the baby out prior to due date was a big plus for me (especially as I have a family history/tendency of going quite overdue).