I'm so sorry but I need some help with some grizzly questions...

[Mummycherry2]

Hi everyone,

I'm a bit embarrassed to be asking these things but I'm hoping some of you wise mummies will know the answers.

I had DS on Saturday morning, labour and birth was pretty traumatic and I've ended up with a third degree tear in V and outside tear in A. Am home now. I'm not sure how much blood loss is normal and I'm starting to feel the urge for a number 2 but am terrified to go (not been yet). How much blood should there be? When should I expect a number 2 to happen and will it be ok with the stitches etc in both areas?

So sorry to ask xx

Drink lots of fluid to make it easier.
If you don't like anything about what comes out, ask MW. They wouldn't have let you leave if they thought you were going to have problems.

I'm sorry, I had to laugh a little at "grizzly" and it's very rude of me to tell you that it should be grisly, but I was thinking bears!

Re. your question - congratulations on the birth of your son! And I don't know the answers to your questions. BUT I will say that even a tiny bit of blood can look like a huge amount - it has very low surface tension and spreads like anything, so a teaspoonful can look like a massacre has taken place.

If you're really worried about your stitches and you don't get any answers on here, can you ask your MW/HV? Drink plenty of water in the meantime to make sure that your stools are relatively soft, then it should be a lot easier.

Good luck!

Congratulations on your DS

Definitely ask your midwife if you are worried about bleeding.

Tips for first poo are to support your stitches with a pad that you hold; kiwi fruit and linseed are both brilliant natural laxatives.

I put lavender and tea tree essential oil in my bath which helped soothe my stitches and took arnica which seemed to really help with healing. Sorry birth was traumatic, hope you are ok.

use a maternity pad to put counter pressure against the stitches during a poo if you are worried about your stitches. They should be fine without but it'll put your mind at rest.

To ease constipation, there is lactulose. I was given this post natally, though only half doses. too much leads to wind and bloating which isn't pleasant when you have after pains etc.

Don't strain for a poo. If nothing budges just try again another time. Give it enough time it should all move easily/practicall fall out.

I found wiping/dabbing with a (bought for this purpose) flannel and warm water (poured over my under carriage from a plastic bottle) better than loo paper. loo paper tended to shred against the stitches.

Congrats on your DS. Well done you!

The first poo is nerve wracking, but try to be calm. Take plenty of lactulose.

I had a 3rd degree tear and tbh (this is way TMI!) I had to put on a plastic glove and use my hand to assist the process - I just had no pushing power in that area!

Please DO NOT PANIC if you are the same. It DOES go back to normal. Do your kegel exercises religiously and bath everyday with tea tree oil.

If you start to feel generally rubbish in yourself, get your stitches checked. Don't wait until you feel utterly dreadful. You will probably have got a mild infection, anti-bios will soon clear it up.

Also to get things moving, hot drinks are a good tip!

Congratulations!
As others have said, use a gloved hand/warm flannel, gently push with a flat palm over the stitched area as you poo. It's a little support, sometimes it helps push the poo out, sometimes it's just a bit of reassurance for you. It helped me.
If you have a bidet, use that instead of loo roll and a clean cloth/flannel/hand towel to dry off. If you don't have said bidet, use the cloth/flannel/hand towel moistened with a little water, to clean yourself.

i think its most likely normal, i lost clots of blood initially when in hospital in the few hours after ds was born, then justice med/ heavy period, it lessened but did continue until around 3 weeks after.
as for poo, i found it nervewracking after both births; eat lots of fruit and drink plenty of water,
people are mentioning baths, i was advised to have a quick dip in a shallow bath once day with some Epsom salts and a few drops of tea tree abduction lavender essential oils. the reason its a quick dip is so not to dissolve your stitches too quickly! i used to bath in evening ad shower in the morning,

get a few squares of kitchen paper towels and hold them against the stitched up wound while doing a poo, to support the area.

not wanting to go in case stitches will pop is a common gear, but they won't pop.

if you are constipated try a gentle laxative.

after DD, despite of eating massive amounts of food I had no poo for 3 days.
I tried to go, but there was nothing.
I somehow absorbed all the food!
so 2 days without going is not the end of the world.

if you have the urge, just do it

afterwards you might feel like having a quick shower rather than wiping.
again use kitchen towel to dry yourself - much better than toilet paper which crumbles or towels that might feel too rough

hth

and Congratulations!

oh about the blood - if you have any clots bigger than a large egg call MW for advice.
otherwise bleeding is quite heavy in the first, even 2nd week (unless C-section)

I had lochia for upto 6 weeks most of the time (6children here), when bf the womb contracts down at the same time so there was a surge of blood at each feeding time, sometimes I'd soak through a large pad in 15 mins

Another one reiterating that it really helps to hold a pad there the first few times.
To clean I stepped into the bath with a couple of cm of tepid water for the first few times and squatted down. Then moved onto using a jug. Kind of my own improvised bidet.
I would go through phases of blood so maybe a day where it was just a bit like a period, others it felt like my insides were pouring out.
The midwives though we're great as they were almost visiting daily and would ask me about how it was and would offer to check and so we're able to reassure me it was healing normally.
I did end up with a bit of infection/soreness but got referred to gp and was given antibiotics and some cream.
Although it superficially healed within 6-8 weeks I'd say it took 6-8 months for me to feel that it had really healed.

I was just going to say what everyone else here has said. Also, if you only gave birth on Saturday don't worry about not having pooed yet, I didn't til 4 days later and was worried it was because I was constipated but actually it was fine! Often the first poo after birth can be quite a while after because all your insides are re arranging - it's normal.

Congratulations on your baby!

Thank you so much all for your advice, I've been taking two lots of laxatives and two lots of antibiotics since the birth and have been taking as prescribed so I think today will be the day... I will definitely use the tip of supporting the stitches- I hadn't even thought of that. Might try a bath later, I haven't been brave enough yet as I suspect DH will have to lift me out and I'm a bit frightened of him seeing anything yet which is ridiculous I know. M/W coming today so I will get her to check me over and will send DH for more fruit supplies! Bumpsadaisy, what are kergel exercises?

Congratulations!

Just reiterating what every one else has said & to say that when you do your first poo it may feel like your insides are about to fall out but this is normal & they won't

The things nobody tells you...

Whatever you do, don't hold it. If you feel you need to go, go! I say that from bitter experience resulting in various suppositories and a poo that nearly ended it

Kegel excersices are the same as pelvic floor excersices.
to strengthen pelvic floor muscles.

ask MW to explain.

fx for a nice poo today!
(now that has got to be the weirdest thing I have ever said on MN! )

Essh i remember the terror and pain of going to the toilet. I sympathise completely water and some.food you know makes you loose helps.
In healing i had some tea tree oil the hospital gave me soaked some cotton wool and keep it on the tender patch so to speak. Salt baths as well.
You will.get better take it easy x

Oh and if you make the mistake of looking at your vajayjay do not be alarmed!

Mine looked mutant for a few weeks, it goes back to normal.

waiting for poo update

No update on that front zing :( thought it may happen today but I was wrong! My mum has brought me witch hazel and arnica tablets in this Eve and is bringing me some Epsom salts for tomorrow. Again thank you so much for the advice everyone... No one ever tells you about these sorts of things!!! I've been so shocked by the whole labour and birth and wish i had known before.

MW today said the tear was a 3a, anyone know what this means or is it best I don't ask? DH has been very good bless him, I won't let him anywhere near me though. I can't bare the thought of turning him off forever!

I had an episiotomy and stitches so different to you and was also very nervous about having the first poo but it was fine, I took stool softeners just in case and during the actual event I made a conscious effort to relax, didn't push, just sat there and let it all happen slowly. I did hold loo paper across the stitches just in case and there was a tiny bit of blood but it genuinely didn't hurt a bit.

oh, poor you.

but it will happen.
I'm not leaving until you have "blast off"!

(more for support, less because of weird curiosity)

Try drinking a big mug of hot water first thing tomorrow morning.
or have curry tonight. that unplugged me

also I meant to say stitches feel worst between day 3-5, so any increased stinging or pain in the next couple of days is normal.
avoid sitting down for long periods of time - lying on your side will be more comfortable.

how's baby? have you got a name yet?

Congrats on the baby OP

I found Aloe Vera Durex lube really soothing on the stitches. I kept it in the fridge so it was really cool.

No one ever tells you about these sorts of things!!! I've been so shocked by the whole labour and birth and wish i had known before

I agree, and I feel for women who have never been told honestly about what its like, I think people should be aware!

also sorry if mentioned but try lacutlose and senna...