Beyond petrified of an elcs

[Tea1Sugar]

It's hardly "elective", for one reason or another I don't have a choice. It's four weeks today and I'm having nightmares about it.

I'm extremely hospital phobic, I have a wimpishly low pain threshold, petrified of blood (names me faint), worried about being away from my 3yo whilst in hospital, in a way I'd rather be knocked out as the thought of a spinal makes my skin crawl.

Am I being irrational? Tell me it'll be ok :-(

I've had surgeries before: appendectomy, laparoscopy, and surgical repair of previous 3rd degree tear. All of which were emergencies so I had no time to mentally prepare, I just had to get on with it. But this time I've had weeks of anxiety :-(

I've not been in your situation, but I do suffer with health anxiety.

Can you make it clear to the hospital how anxious you are? I'm sure lots of mums get worked up re surgery, especially when knowing they'll be awake.

Have you thought about doing some coping techniques to help relax you, such as hypnotherapy or breathing exercises. Also put some plans into place re your other child so that you feel as organised as possible.

Pregnancy hormones make women feel so vulnerable that I think this is quite a normal reaction.

Good luck and I hope you get some better suited advice.

I had a third degree tear, and then an elcs. Which, like you say, wasn't elective at I didn't have a choice. Like you, I tied myself up knots about it and worried for weeks on end. I was also hospital phobic and had a nearly three yo. So you are perfectly justified in feeling scared, and a bit cheated if you will.

My experience was nothing like I imagined it. If my three births, it was the best in terms of calmness, recovery, feeding and bonding. It was also the only time I didn't suffer from PND.

So, you will be fine. But you are allowed to feel the way you do. Can you talk to your midwife about it? We put some measures in place that, although it was surgery, allowed it to remain my birth experience. That was important to me.

Sorry if that didn't make sense, lots of typos as dc3 asleep on me!

I had an awful vaginal first delivery so was booked for a c section the second time. I managed to work myself up to the point where I thought I would die. In the end, it was a fantastic experience. The spinal was uncomfortable, not painful and you feel a bit weird when you go numb. You don't see any blood or anything, in fact, the dressing stays clean and when they take it off on day 5 there's no trace of blood on that. My scar on day 5 looked like a perfectly straight cat scratch.

I know it's easy to say but try not to worry and enjoy those first few moments of baby cuddles.

Hi worriedmouse ive seen you on another elcs thread once
so the dressing stays on for 5 days? And mws take it off? Im sure it will be elcs for me this time.

Sorry to hijack thread x

I've had 3 vaginal births (two at home) followed by a crash CS.

I'd go with the CS any time (ideally wouldn't have been crash but hey). I say that as a committed homebirther. :)

Recovery time was quicker than my first birth, and I got back to feeling "normal" must faster than with any of the other three. I swear on everything I hold dear that f I had another baby I would be harbouring a secret wish throughout the pregnancy for a CS.

It seems to me the most crucial thing is to avoid infection.

Forgot to add, I was home the next day

Oh, and unless you looked really really hard you'd never even notice the scar, 4.5 years on. I can see it because I know where it is, but I doubt anybody else would notice it tbh.

You could always request general anaesthetic so then you are 'knocked out'?

I'm not sure if they'd allow it

2 sections here, one a proper emergency one- I was knocked out, so no recollection. The other still an emergency but only had the spinal. Which was uncomfortable but not painful.

It was bliss, calm, easy, safe. The anaesthetist was lovely as was the surgical nurse. Dh was with me. It was a very positive experience.

After care was fine too, and recovery was quick. I was strict and stayed in bed for 2 weeks. Dh was my man servant and mil/friends were incredible.

Talk to your mw, knowledge is power.

I had an elcs with my first (she was sideways and stuck). It went really well, everything was calm. If you can manage it, let them know you have a general health anxiety, that you know it's silly and they will do a good job but you can't stop it and they may be able to help you - at the very least they should work with you to reassure.

actual procedure wise I saw no blood at all, there was a big screen and everything was all tidied up before it was removed. My dh was with me the whole time and to be honest I fpund it a big comfort to have an ambulatory person 'on my side' so to speak.

I had a section, saw no blood, saw quite a lot with my first vag delivery though! No pain, compared to extreme pain with my first labour.

No blood on scar, and the spinal was fine. It did not hurt, it did not take long at all to get it in.

Everything was swift, painless and controlled and well, happy and joyful.

The baby is out sooooo quickly and once baby is there, you don't notice the longest part which is stitching you up.

You come at the baby fresh, calm, and in spite of the operation, really physically refreshed instead of exhausted and sore after labour and usually no sleep before labour.

I also had much less lochia, as they clean you out, with my first I was passing huge clots of peices of placenta, who knows and bleeding, with section it was all much much less.

Dressing was on for about 24 hours - removed by myself in the shower isitme

Thanks everyone for being so positive. I just want it over with. Roll on 16th April.

Isitme yes, midwife took the dressing off on day 5 on her visit. They like to do it for you as they want to make sure it's healing properly. It was a massive padded dressing and felt like it was giving protection against knocks etc and I was so surprised to see a clean dressing especially when it had been put on in theatre. Nothing on it at all! I would definitely have another c section if there's a dc3.

Must have very harsh midwives down here then, as we had to remove the dressing ourselves even though I was worried my stomach contents would fall out. I did use a big pad in its place to protect from knocks afterwards as second time round (emcs) I felt much more fragile.

Op the elc will be fine but that doesn't really help you,I know. The problem is your feelings about being in hospital,the spinal etc. It sounds like a phobia to me.

I had a massive phobia about needles, no amount of reassurance was going to make the slightest difference to how I felt. When I needed ivf I had to have injections in my abdomen and needed to sort the phobia out so that it could happen.

I found a hypnotist / therapist and had a short course of hypnotherapy. It was very very effective and I think I only had 3 or 4 sessions. It was 5 years ago so can't quite remember. I had an emc and the hypnotherapy helped to keep me calm throughout even though it wasn't my main phobia.

Maybe give hypnotherapy a try? 4 weeks is long enough to have a few sessions. It would help you to stay calm even if you are still a little worried. Good luck- my emc really,really,really was fine,promise.

I've had an EMCS, then an ELCS and a laparoscopy & hysteroscopy, amongst plenty of other surgery.

ELCS by far the best! It was an afternoon op so I had to stay in for 2 nights; otherwise could have been out the next day.

Actually a CS is fantastic when you have another DC already. At least you can plan to be in hospital, let the DC know where you'll be, what's happening etc. I went into PTL with DC2 (fortunately stopped with meds) and that was a lot worse in terms of impact on DC1.

Spinal's fine. By the time they give it to you, you're more focused on the fact the baby's about to be born - and they're used to distracting patients.

Make the most of it .

Hi I had an ELCS last week. Like you I was absolutely terrified. The staff at the hospital were amazing, very reassuring & answered any questions I had ( some of them silly)
The spinal really wasn't sore at all. Slightly sorer than getting a drip in your arm & your numb within seconds. Also there was a screen up so you don't see any blood at all.
My dressing had blood on it & I was terrified to take it off but after day 5 midwife told me to take it off before her visit. I eventually plucked up the courage only to find a clean scar, I was very relieved.
The recovery has been fine(so far) I feel totally fine & I'm just frustrated that I can't do anything as I feel we'll enough to do so but I'm trying to let people help & my hubby has been great.
I had a 4th degree tear with my DS 5 years ago hence the c section but the recovery is night & day. Feel normal already as opposed to bing ill for MONTHS:-(
Please don't worry & try and enjoy it as it really is fine

www.mumsnet.com/reviews/nursery/cots-cribs-cotbeds/9963-arms-reach-universal-co-sleeper-bedside-cot

Do yourself a massive massive favour and research this cot and the others like it, I chose it as it seemed to be cheaper than the other co sleepers on ebay etc but they all retain their value

I wish I had had it with my first and I had that with no section. It helped me enormously, no sitting up to transfer baby, no straining on the scar, baby right next to me, but that freedom to be able to sleep properly as she was in her own space.

Of course you're scared, it's major surgery and at the moment it's all an unknown. I felt as you describe before my elcs (for a breech baby) 3 years ago - I was in such a state I don't even remember walking to the theatre, but once it was under way I coped fine - physically it was far better than I expected, and mentally it was so good to have the waiting over. The waiting is by far the worst part.
My one regret around dd's birth is that I allowed my terror to completely overshadow her arrival. And she was a very stressed-out baby and I sometimes wonder if all my adrenaline affected her... If you can make peace with your elcs and find ways to stay calm and focus on the baby, you might feel better afterwards. And please don't let any comments about cs being the 'easy option' make you feel like a wuss - I've done it both ways (recently had a vbac) and I personally did find the cs tougher.
Hope it all goes really well.

I had an EMCS with DD2 and an EMCS wth GA with DS. I would so much have prefered a planned CS with both of them.

We were all ok anyway though. Anything that gets baby out and mum ok is a result in my opinion!