how long after is it safe to have sex?

[Ilovekittyelise]

with my first i had 3rd degree tear plus episiostomy. quite honestly i never wanted sex since.

the birth of my second son 3.5 weeks ago was cathartic and wonderful. after several years of no sex life i want it! had second degree tear this time which hasnt bothered me in the least.

can i do it?!

What are you waiting for? 10 days after the first and 7 after the second !

I waited three weeks after my first as I was scared and one week after my second as I was in hospital until then.

Someone will be along in a minute to tell you it can be fatal.

It can be fatal in the first few days after birth, but once you are past that, then go for it. Pretty rare but there is a risk of embolism.

I'm so pleased your second birth has gone so well and restored your faith in your own body. That's a big part of your sexuality, as I'm sur you have realised. As a midwife, I tell women to try sex when they feel ready. There is no rule about timing except wanting to. It does not have to be full intercourse immediately. At first your vagina will feel different and your healing perineum is usually sensitive. Most important, add plenty of lubrication!