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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

How soon did you have sex after a 2nd degree tear?!

24 replies

AFergie · 25/01/2014 08:31

Im 4.5 weeks post having my gorgeous baby and was wondering how long you waited?

I had an infection about 2 weeks ago which seems to have cleared but I dont want to push it...

Thanks !!

OP posts:

ROARmeow · 25/01/2014 08:37

I think it was 4-5 weeks after.

It felt a bit strange at first, for a few seconds, then was fine!

There's no time you have to be doing it again by, just what you feel comfy with.

Make sure you use contraception if you don't want another baby, even if you're breastfeeding

StarsAboveYou · 25/01/2014 08:53

I had a 3rd degree tear and it was about 6 weeks for me.

Original poster

AFergie · 25/01/2014 10:43

Did you all wait for the OK from doc pr MW or did you just go for it ?

OP posts:

PastaandCheese · 25/01/2014 12:38

I waited 6 weeks but it wasn't a case of 'waiting' as such I just felt ready then.

It sounds like you feel ready now so go for it.

Metalhead · 25/01/2014 13:06

We didn't try until about 4-5 months post birth, which was still too painful, but I had a very long recovery.

I'd say wait until your 6 week check up, but after that if you feel ready then do it and just see how it goes.

jumperooo · 25/01/2014 13:13

4th degree, was advised to wait 12 weeks, as was my friend with a 3rd degree. But I was told they are more serious than 2nd degree. If you feel ok then I guess when you want! Maybe about a month after birth is the average I think

AntoinetteCosway · 25/01/2014 13:15

About 8 weeks. Gingerly. It was more about reassuring myself that it was possible and we would one day enjoy sex again than anything else!

jumperooo · 25/01/2014 13:15

I'm 15 months down the line now and sex is still a bit ouchy but I was pretty unlucky with severity and position of the tear I got. All my friends who were cut, or who tore were back to normal within a few months

DetentionExtension · 25/01/2014 13:19

6 weeks-ish. I had an appointment booked at the gynae clinic about a polyp and wanted to have tried things out first iykwim!

BotBotticelli · 25/01/2014 21:31

8 weeks. It felt a bit sore the first couple of times, and we had to use lube probably more to make me chill out about it!

I felt that things were totally back to normal by 6months - that's when I started using tampons again incidentally, which I think was another sign that any residual feelings of tightens/ soreness had gone.

OhTheDrama · 25/01/2014 22:55

6 weeks, a few days before my check-up as I wanted to see if all was OK so I could tell them if it wasn't! So romantic!

CheesyBadger · 25/01/2014 23:04

6 weeks

Zara1984 · 26/01/2014 14:05

9 weeks

Was sore at entry but bigger problem was that I had, to quote Borat, vagine like sleeve of wizard.

Progressively got better, just over 1 year later all back to normal! No pain, and feels normal for both of us

lastnightopenedmyeyes · 26/01/2014 15:59

8 months, and it was very sore for a while even then.

Original poster

AFergie · 27/01/2014 11:44

Haha zara1984 that borat quote made me laugh out loud!

Had you been doing pelvic floors?

Has anyone experienced that problem and managed to tighten things up?

Im worried about the wizard sleeve situation !

OP posts:

Wuxiapian · 27/01/2014 16:53

About 5 weeks.

Secondtimesally · 27/01/2014 20:52

8 weeks after 3rd degree tear. Might just be the hormones but it was fantastic.

impatienttobemummy · 28/01/2014 06:24

I'm 6 weeks post episiotomy and 2nd degree tear, mine has only just healed so GP said wait at least another month. I'm going to wait 12 weeks so 6 more from now. Mines Defo a wizards sleeve!

jazzyjenbo · 28/01/2014 18:05

8 weeks after 1st
Think more like 4 mths after 2nd (i just couldnt b bothered with my little girl being constantly attached to my boob and deciding that her fav place to sleep was on my chest or co-sleeping with us.
I actually had the opposite problem than the borat quote!!
Mrs O would of been proud of what i got back both times!!!

Zara1984 · 29/01/2014 15:32

Yes I did pelvic floors before and after (still do).

tbh I think any pelvic floors beforehand did fuck all as DS ripped/stretched it all to shreds on the way out

I tell pregnant friends now that pelvic floors afterwards are ESSENTIAL but tbh I'm not convinced there's any point beforehand

No longer have vagine like wizard's sleeve (fortunately) but I queef/fanny fart a lot after sex

Original poster

AFergie · 29/01/2014 16:37

Ok.. Thank you for your honesty Zara ! Im doing pelvic floors twice a day now, might increase it to 3 Im so worried about lizard sleeve situation.

Ill soon find out I guess. In any case I got a good laugh out of it thanks to you !

Did it take a year of pelvic floor every day for it to get back to normal or were you not that diligent at doing them and thats why it took so long?

OP posts:

Florin · 29/01/2014 17:06

I had a 2nd degree but it healed fast and we were having sex regularly again after 3 weeks.

Zara1984 · 29/01/2014 19:16

I did some every day, some times more than others. I think it just took a year for my body to recover, both the weight to come off (a lot) and the tear. I had my fanny checked by my (good with gynae stuff) GP at one year and she said I look normal for someone who's had a non-instrumental vaginal delivery and bad 2nd degree tear. GP said that a year is not a long time for a fanny to recover. And that it will never be the same as pre-baby

In terms of improved tightness and tone, and reduction of pain on first penetration, it improved gradually bit by bit, with help of pelvic floors. After 6 months was a marked improvement, even more after 9 months etc.

At 9 weeks post birth when we first had sex it was honestly like a big wide gaping hole Now my fanny looks like a normal fanjo albeit with noticeable scar tissue

Zara1984 · 29/01/2014 19:19

Keep doing your pelvic floors, there are exercise DVDs and resistance equipment you can use

And don't freak out, it will improve. I was in floods of tears initially and thought I was going to have to go to Thailand for cheap vag reconstructive surgery

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