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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Children at hospital births

23 replies

ItsNearlyTime · 11/10/2013 21:02

So, I think I have everything covered but am very concerned about childcare for my lo's (1 and 4 years old).

All my help is 2 hours or more away so given that I went from 0 to holding a baby in that time I'm alittle concerned that I'll have to take them with me. No option of a home birth (various reasons).

I am sure they've had a situation like this.

Obviously, I'm doing my best to minimise this but we are new to the area last week (don't know neighbours and there isn't anyone I could give them to). And the nurseries wont take lo's (various reasons).

Also, children rarely appear when they are scheduled so this one could arrive tomorrow or next month.

The best case senario would be that someone would meet me at the hospital and I'd pass the lo's onto them before being admitted but I cant guarantee that they'd make it.

What would happen if I turned up on the birthing ward with them and am in the final stage (fully dilated, etc)?

Will one of the nurses watch them and take me into another room or would they be beside me?

If someone managed to get there just in time would they hand over my lo's?

Do I have to make provisions for this in my 'birthing plan' such as passwords, etc so that they are given to the right people?

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Tiredemma · 11/10/2013 21:03

Wouldn't your partner look after them in this scenario?

VivaLeThrustBadger · 11/10/2013 21:06

None of the midwives would watch them for you. Chances are all the midwives would be busy and even if not I really don't think we'd be allowed to. Someone would mutter about health and safety and what if they got hurt.

I've known this happen a couple of times and both times the kids had to be in the room while their mum gave birth. So they're not going to turn you away.

If someone turned up in time they'd be allowed to come onto the labour ward to pick them up. Are you having a birth partner? They'd be able to pass them over.

cathpip · 11/10/2013 21:06

Your dh would probably have to look after them if you turned up on labour ward with them, and that would be in the waiting room while you are in a delivery suite. Sorry.

HandragsAndGladbags · 11/10/2013 21:08

Why won't the nurseries take them? Perhaps you could come to an arrangement with a local child minder?

OhBabyLilyMunster · 11/10/2013 21:09

Have you talked about this with your midwife? Im thinking there may be some local voluntary organisations that can help (im thinking surestart etc)

cherrytomato40 · 11/10/2013 21:10

I am sure they wouldn't turn you away but it's hardly ideal... if you say you have help 2 hours away is there noone at all who would be willing to care for them for just a few hours until help arrived? As presumably you would call your family as soon as you went into labour? I would definitely do this for someone.

DefiniteMaybe · 11/10/2013 21:13

There must be someone somewhere close to you that could watch your children for a couple of hours until your arranged childcare can get to you.
Do you have a local childrens centre? There may be volunteers there who could help. Work on making friends really quickly?

Mamabear12 · 11/10/2013 21:15

can't you look up nannies or sitters in your area?? ask the nurseries for suggestions! that is how i found nannies/sitters in my area.

DefiniteMaybe · 11/10/2013 21:16

If you're close to where I live, I'd help you.

princesscupcakemummyb · 11/10/2013 21:41

i cant see the midwives or nurses etc being able to look after the children op i would look into child minders they are rather flexible also if you know your local health visitor ask them if they have any local organisations to help you in this situation also ask your midwife you asked if someone could get their then would they hand over your children can you not ask this person in advance if they would be willing to help you with childcare?

this might help you look into whats in your area good luck

op take care

bundaberg · 11/10/2013 21:45

would a member of family be able to come and stay with you for a bit? maybe a couple of weeks around your due date?

Original poster

ItsNearlyTime · 11/10/2013 22:12

Hi,

Thanks for the quick responses.

Another senario would be a minor car accident which induced labour but otherwise all participants are ok. I would assume the pregnant woman would be taken to hospital with children and relevant people called to collect them. In the meantime baby is born.

For me - I know my situation is not ideal and definately wouldn't have planned this but it is as it is.

DefinateMaybe - There are cases where there are no family (dead/overseas/estranged/etc), friends (too far away/not phyically able), neighbours (total strangers/wouldn't trust with my plants let alone with my kids/etc), etc which can help.

Yes my DP would come to my rescue but he's one of the one's that will be some distance (hence time) away i.e. he works so he'd be called but would have to walk out of the office and travel to me. His office has been warned and are being very accommodating.

Its not ideal but will look at babysitters/childminders, etc but few, so far, are open to emergency care such as this without prior experience of the children even if they have the space available. Most want a guaranteed/scheduled booking time which I cannot do.

It looks like my choice is that they accompany me at the birth (crossing my legs until familiar help arrives) or I hand them over to a total stranger (nanny/childminder/etc if they are available on day). The latter I am definately not comfortable with and would cause me no end of stress which is not something I or the baby needs.

Any ideas on how to minimise the trauma for lo's if they are in the hospital with me?

I will pack their favourite toys, food in bags daily - just in case.

OP posts:

ilovemountains · 11/10/2013 22:19

It would be less stressful.for your children to be with an unknown emergency nanny than to watch you give birth. Being in the delivery room could traumatise them for ages. Talk to your neighbours or someone nearby. They will probably help.

bundaberg · 11/10/2013 22:20

if you can find someone willing to provide emergency cover then you have time before the baby is born to introduce them to the kids and get them to spend time together... that way you aren't handing them over to a stranger.

that said, i know a fair few people who've had kids present at homebirths and the children have really been absolutely fine.
If you decide that this is the best course of action then make sure to pack activities and snacks for them so they'll have something to do.

cherrytomato40 · 11/10/2013 22:21

Would your DP's work not let him work from home for the final week or 2, or could he take leave?

Original poster

ItsNearlyTime · 11/10/2013 22:23

I do appreciate your thoughts and thanks for the suggestions so far.

I will talk to midwife and see what they suggest re childcare.

Thanks for the reasurance that they wont turn us away or that the hospital hasn't thought of this/had simialar senarios before.

On the bright side - I could be concerned for nothing as DP might be home when the time comes.

Childbirth isn't predicatable so cant schedule it in. :)

OP posts:

ilovemountains · 11/10/2013 22:23

I think there is a massive difference between having children at home during a home birth (multiple rooms, familiar surroundings) and in hospital (one unfamiliar hospital room).

ivykaty44 · 11/10/2013 22:24

there are emergency nanny agencies around that would provide emergency cover - this may be an option to get them to meet you at the hospital and your dh when he gets their either takes over their care or leaves the EN to take care of the children close to hand

ilovemountains · 11/10/2013 22:25

How are you getting to the hospital when you go into labour? Can't they look after your other children?

nancerama · 13/10/2013 09:14

Our local Baptist church has a team of babysitters who volunteer for families who either can't afford occasional childcare or who have no help nearby. Most of the volunteers are retired ladies. You don't have to be a churchgoer up access this help. Perhaps contacting the families coordinator at local churches could be an option.

I'm sure the volunteer would be happy to spend some time getting to know your DC before the big day.

toastandmarmiterocks · 13/10/2013 16:04

I would see if you can organise a sitter/neighbour to be on standby and then trial a couple of sessions before so when the time comes your children won't be with total strangers.

The children will not be allowed in the delivery room, what happens if there is an emergency & you are rushed to theatre? If the emergency bell is pulled the room will fill with doctors & midwives, it is essential they have the space to do their job. Your children would be so worried too I'm sure to see mummy like this. Of course you could have (and I hope you do have) a beautiful calm birth but you just don't know what will happen. You need your older children cared for so you can concentrate on yourself & your unborn baby.

There just aren't spare midwives/MSWs/members of staff to look after children.

Good luck with finding the help.

VivaLeThrustBadger · 13/10/2013 16:23

One thing to ask the hospital would be as you've had quick deliveries in the past would they induce you at 40weeks? Obv if that's acceptable to you. I've known women be induced at 40 weeks for this reason.

Twinklestarstwinklestars · 13/10/2013 17:15

I have fast labours (3 hours then 20 mins then 25 mins!) and live 45 mins from hospital so was relieved to be induced, I was told to call 999 if I went into labour as my babies usually need a bit of help when born.

I am a cm and would help if you were near, most of the ones I know would too as childminders are generally very flexible, maybe ring a few and ask.

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