Petrified of labour

[Lynzw75]

Hi ladies. This story may sound very silly but is a reality for me. I am 38+2 and have a 5 year old son already. I was very naïve first time round as I didn't fully realise labour had started and even when I was having regular contractions after my waters broke I still told the midwife I wasn't. Active labour was 3 hours from my waters breaking to my DS arriving. I went into the birthing pool and tried to use entinox but I threw up each time the gas hit my throat so I had to suffer without. When I felt I couldn't cope anymore and asked for more pain relief, I got out of the pool and was examined to find I was fully dilated and told the pain relief wouldn't take effect in time. So basically I laboured with no pain relief.
This time, I have had a pretty miserable pregnancy. I miscarried a year ago and when I got pregnant again I was constantly worried. I've had chronic heartburn throughout and experienced a bad back and Pelvic girdle pain for the last 4 months. I am worried that all this pain has made me less tolerant to pain in general. Every time I get any pain I start to panic about labour. I've had awful dreams about losing blood and losing the baby and all sorts. I cry at the drop of a hat and I am currently experiencing period type pains. I fill my time thinking of possible scenarios depending on what time labour happens as the midwife has scared me a little saying that the second labour is faster (faster than 3 hours?). So I worry about what to do with my DS when the time comes. My husband doesn't break up from work until I'm 39+4 which also concerns me as he's in a job where he can't leave until someone takes over from him which may take time.
I just want all this to be over and have my baby home safe and sound.

I understand your worries, you are not being silly at all!

are you able to ask friends (school mums) to be on call in the day to pick up your son at short notice/ collect from school if must?

when I was heavily pregnant, then overdue with my DD (1 today!!!) I did organize a daily plan with friends and family to figure out who could "cover" childcare, it put my mind to ease.

If you can roughly sort this you'll feel better prepared, but if not and no-one is available to look after DS, you just have to take him with you to the hospital!
midwives won't be happy, but what else can you do? we had to take DS5 coz MIL got stuck in traffic!

I just want to send you a big hug, it is so difficult coming nearer to giving birth!
there's no way of knowing what will happen, the reason we all worry about the whole thing!

I think you should really talk to your midwife about your anxieties about pain relief and other details, I'm not sure how I could reassure you.

keep talking, I'm happy to "hold your hand" !